PugsnPonies
Tomorrow will be two weeks since our rescue pug, Horace was laid to rest. I have been visiting this site for comfort but just now felt compelled to share. It is just very painful to even write his name.
We got two pug puppies in Feb of 2012. A year later, we rescued two more pugs in need of a home. A blind pug age 5, and an older gentleman, Horace. Horace looked a little different from the "standard" pug and we knew he was older, but he was so quiet and sweet, we snatched him up. 
In Sept of 2014 we decided to help the local pug rescue and started fostering. Six pugs in the house, whew. 

Even with the knowing of Horace and his decline in health... the time will be soon... he wont be around much longer, I am devastated. He went downhill fast, a week, and then he was gone. We believe he was about 14. 

I cry. I have anxiety. I am finding it hard to feel joy, even for my other dogs, whom I love dearly. I feel angry. They will all die. 'What's the point' type of feelings. 

I have grown up with all kinds of pets. I have lost many pets. Never, have I dealt with such overwhelming sadness, loss, and depression. The thoughts of mortality and the hereafter have consumed me. 

Any words of encouragement will be so much appreciated. Thank you.
IMG_5928.JPG 
PugsnPonies
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Apollo_the_great
I am so sorry for your loss, and the price you pay for loving a pet. I have been dealing with the same feelings for almost 90 days now. We lost our baby Apollo on 1/11/15. He was my sister's dog, but he was my son, and my dog Onyx boyfriend, they had lived their whole lives together. We couldn't control his seizures, and he went to sleep. It is the most horrible thing I have ever experienced. It still is. But I have to take care of Onyx. I cry every day. I cannot imagine the pain of losing Onyx, even worse, my going before her. Would she think I abandoned her? No one else can take care of Onyx better than me. I miss Apollo so much but I can't let it consume me. It's like cleaning up after someone has had an accident. It's a nasty job, but it is part of it. I hope you find some peace.
William
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PugsnPonies
Thank you William. Just knowing others are out there validate my sorrow.
PugsnPonies
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AliceM
So sorry for your loss, PugsnPonies.  I so admire you and others who take in rescue animals. Horace is such a cutie and I know your pain seems unbearable at this point.  It is so hard losing our babies and wondering if we could have done something different that would have produced a better outcome.  I lost my Cali just over 4 weeks ago and while the pain seems to have softened a bit, there are still times I cannot hold it together.  The least little thing will trigger a memory that brings on a flood of tears again.  This forum is a wonderful place.  Everyone here has suffered a similar loss and know exactly the pain and sense of loss.  I do hope your heart begins to heal soon. My thoughts are with you.
Alice 
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Mistysmama
Bumping your thread back up to get spammers off the front page.
Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer http://www.mistysblog69.blogspot.co.uk

Misty's life after death: http://www.dog2spirit.com
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PugsnPonies
Happy Easter to all. Hopefully we all can find a little joy today. Hugs to all!
PugsnPonies
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PugsnPonies
I sure miss my boy. I can still imagine him in my arms. 
PugsnPonies
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PugsnPonies
Almost two weeks ago, my beautiful Missouri Fox Trotter gelding, age 14, was released from his pain from a very quick onset of a small intestine infection. He just couldnt beat it. Three days of round the clock care, 10 vet visits, medication, IV's and love could not save him. I am in denial. 

In a matter of 3 months, I lost a 14 year old pug, and a 14 yr old horse. I miss them both dearly and I thank God I had them to love. 

I must say though, I am ticked off at times. Random anger, random tears. 
PugsnPonies
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