I am so sorry for your loss. We have a lot in common. I said goodbye to my baby, Dixie on July 25th. We only had 4 years and seven months with her before we had to make the decision to let her go. I know that if it had been 40 years instead of 4, I still would not have been ready to let go. My feelings have run from nearly unbearable grief, to guilt, to anger. You may experience the same things. Just know that no matter how lonely you feel, you are not alone. There are prayers going out for your comfort. Plus, Honey is in your heart.