Mike32504
My dog Bopper  (a Long legged Jack Russell) passed away 3 days ago on July 3rd. She was my partner in crime for the last 12 yrs and she'd been really by my side for the last 3 years due to me not being able to work. We had our daily routine. We were up by 4a every morning she sat in my lap while I had my morning coffee. She followed me around everywhere I went. She knew when I was in pain and did her best to comfort me, usually on a daily basis. She had her favorite spot to lay..right next to me on my recliner. 
I knew her health had been deteriorating lately..from her lipomas and the cataracts in both eyes. Everything seemed normal on that day...around 4p...she was laying next to me in my recliner while watching tv when I noticed her tense up...legs stretching out..struggling..I jumped up and then realized she was having a seizure. Without hesitating I scooped her up in my arms..and with my fiancee' driving we took Bopper straight to the nearest vet which was less than a mile from our house. The whole time there Bopper was struggling to breath and the seizure never stopped. After arriving at the vet the techs rushed Bopper  straight to the back where the vet's worked on her to try stopping her seizures.. After 3 anti seizure injections without any results the vet came and told me that she believed Bopper had a brain tumor which was causing her seizures..there was nothing else they can do..It was the hardest thing that I ever had to do was to have her euthanized.
I was able to caress her face and kiss her goodbye.... telling her that I loved her so much... I know it was the best decision but Why am I feeling guilty..My heart is still hurting so bad...I cry constantly.. I try to think of all the good times that we had together hoping it'll make the pain of missing her better ..looking back..I noticed the last several days before her death she had been really loving..nibbling..giving me little love bites.. as if she knew she was dying. I miss her so much....I keep looking for her but she's not around. 

R.I.P. Bopper 
7/3/2018
Daddy loves you! you're my sunshine!

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msweet13
Dearest Mike-I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Bopper. She is a beautiful girl. Just seeing the picture of the both of you together is touching as it tells your story of companionship, devotion, and unconditional love. I have enclosed the following poem and I hope it brings you some comfort through this very difficult time.

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I wish you warm hugs and blessings of comfort.
Denise (Brutus' Mom)
Brutus von Dolce
06/19/2006 - 03/16/2018
RIP my sweet beautiful boy
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Ginger4256
Mike
I am so sorry that you are in pain over losing Bopper.  She is absolutely beautiful.  Guilt is the first thing we feel no matter what happens.  It will rear it's ugly head and try to take over.  It's because we have loved them for so long and feel like we should have done something.  I still, even after 2 months, think about the "what ifs" and "if only I had...".  It's perfectly normal to feel that way.  Obviously you were your Bopper's entire world.  She knows that you would do anything for her.  Keep coming to the forum.  You will find that everything you feel is the same thing everyone here has gone through already or are going through with you.  Take care Mike.  I wish peace for you and your fiance'
Boo' s mommy
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Mike32504
thank you Ginger4256... 
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addgirl
Hey Mike, Im so sorry for your loss and just had to reply. I too lost my Jack Russell on July 3rd. We had Friskie since she was 3 months and she blessed us with her presence for 16 years and five months. She was so brave and loving at the end, and my daughter and I were bawling. Our vet was so sweet and let us stay with our baby both before and after. My daughter is an only child and Friskie was her little companion and sister. As I walked out of the room, I heard my daughter let out such a painful wail, I almost collapsed with grief. I sense her in the house and we look for her in all of her special spots. She will live on in our hearts and memories forever. Jacks are very smart and loving dogs, as I’m sure you know. I know Bopper will live on forever. Your love for her will make that so.
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Mike32504
hi addgirl, thank you so much...I'm sorry for your lose. I can still hear the rattle of her collar at times..or hear her lil "ruff" as she did when she wanted my attention. I keep looking for her..catch myself talking to her as if she's here. I truly miss her..
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addgirl
I think Bopper and Friskie are playing up by the rainbow bridge and having a lot of fun! That helps make me feel better. Our dogs have each other. Hoping our hearts mend in time, all the best to you!
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exit30
I am so sorry for your loss Mike, losing our best friend is terribly painful, just give yourself time to grieve and be angry at the world for taking him. The hole in your heart will never completely heal, and little things will remind you of him, but the life you gave him, and the joy and love he gave in return is priceless. 
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