Deederbestboy
Tonight is especially hard. I don’t know why.  I wasn’t doing to bad yesterday but the grief is weighing heavy on my heart right now. I just miss that little cat. How did 18 years go by so quickly? I was so excited when he made it through the surgery when they removed the tumor, only for it grow back with a vengeance 4 months later. We had a great Thanksgiving  and Christmas. I have a video of Deeder looking for his gifts under the tree. It was to be his last Christmas. My last words to him were, Deeder, you were the best. Come find me again. May God unite our souls again someday and bring us together once more. He was the joy of my life. 
Jeanne Swift
Quote 0 0
BarbOscar13
nights are hard for me as well, just me and my thoughts, Deeder will find you ! 
Quote 0 0
Deederbestboy
Thank you. I will be waiting to see him again. It will be a happy reunion. The nights are the hardest. I’m still awake on the couch. Can’t sleep in the bedroom yet. He always slept with me. I miss him sleeping on my chest or pillow. 
Jeanne Swift
Quote 1 0
Peach
Grief has a way of getting it's claws in us... one minute we feel fine, then the next it's got a hold on us all over again. 18 years is a long time, despite it going fast. I know that feeling. The last words to my precious Sphinx were "I told you that you were brave." And she was... so very brave. 

I'm sorry for your loss.
“Until one has loved an animal, a part of ones soul remains unawakened” ~ Anatole France
Quote 0 0
Deederbestboy
Thank you. I’m sorry for your loss of Sphinx as well. Deeder was a brave cat too and very cooperative. I wonder now if I should have forced him to fight so hard. Mayb I shouldn’t have put him through it all, surgery, chemo, meds. I just wanted him to live and he wanted to live too to be with me. Love the quote by Anatole France. Thanks for sharing. 
Jeanne Swift
Quote 0 0
Peach
Thank you. I’m sorry for your loss of Sphinx as well. Deeder was a brave cat too and very cooperative. I wonder now if I should have forced him to fight so hard. Mayb I shouldn’t have put him through it all, surgery, chemo, meds. I just wanted him to live and he wanted to live too to be with me. Love the quote by Anatole France. Thanks for sharing. 

I've gone through those same thoughts with how I lost my soulmate Beck last year. I had a bit of a mental battle between my loses and I feel like I fought too hard for Beck and not hard enough for Sphinx. I think we will always question our decisions no matter what. The important thing is that we did the best we could and we can only learn to do better from our experience. 
“Until one has loved an animal, a part of ones soul remains unawakened” ~ Anatole France
Quote 0 0
Deederbestboy
I think that is all we can do. Learn from our mistakes and grow in wisdom. It’s often hard to make the right decisions when everything is so emotional and upsetting. You do the best you can. My other car died before Deeder and I feel I didn’t do enough for him, but too much maybe for Deeder. We just have to trust God to lead us through things like this. They just called to say Deeder’s ashes are in. Very hard. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Jeanne
Jeanne Swift
Quote 0 0