Allie8239
It has been a week and a half since i had to put Dash down. Dash was the light of my life. She was my 14 year old cocker spaniel that I had since she was only 8 weeks old. She used to fit in the palm of my hand. She went thru all my highs and lows in life with me.hen I got Dash I was young, we learned together.  She was my constant, my best friend, and my heart. I feel like I was wrong in putting her down. I feel like I should have been better. Now everyday I cry because I just want her back. I know reasonably that I she was really sick and she is in a better place now. She isn't hurting anymore. At the end she wasn't my Dash, she was so frail. Selfishly I want hr back, selfishly I want my baby back. I want to hold her, I want to dress her up in her favorite Halloween costume. I want to boop her nose to tall her I love her. I want her to lick my face. I miss her so much. She would get so excited about everything.. when i got home, food, a treat. She always had a sparkle in her eye. I cry all the time, it feels like someone hit me in the stomach every time I see her face in my mind. The worst image I keep on replaying is as I left her, her little eyes just looking at me. I didn't stay when they put her down, I couldn't, everything in me wanted to run out the door. But, I looked in her eyes, they were glazed over, and sad, she wasn't Dash anymore. She was skin and bones and couldn't walk any more than a couple feet without falling over. I still question my decision and I think I will everyday. I miss my floppy pawed Dash. I just wish the pain would subside, but it doesn't, I feel hollow. My heart has a part stolen from it and I will never get it back. I love you Dash and I miss you so much every day. 
AW
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MyBella
Hi Allie,

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Dash, your loss is so new still, the pain so raw. I know how Halloween makes it so much harder, the first of many holidays for you without your loving Dash. 
It takes time Allie, I wish I had a better answer or solution, but I don't.....let the tears fall..... cry, scream, yell, do what ever you need to help you heal. Grieving has no time limit, so no need to rush or push yourself and don't let anyone tell you when you are done...only you will know when you are done grieving for Dash.
Baby steps is the best we can hope for at this time Allie, please be gentle with yourself, visit this forum as often as needed, the people here are such wonderful, supportive people...ones who know and understand the pain you are going through.

I am so sorry for your loss, sending positive healing thoughts your way.

Sincerely, Don & Vera
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Missingmysweetboy
Hi Allie,

I'm sorry for your loss. I can so relate to how you are feeling. I lost my 12 year old cocker, Jaxon, almost 4 weeks ago. The grief has been overwhelming to say the least. I still expect to see him each morning when I come down the stairs. It seems unreal that he is gone. I miss him terribly every second of every day.
Jaxon was in kidney failure and had gotten down to 19 pounds. He was a shell of what he had been, so I knew it was time. It was the worst experience of my life and I screamed when he took his last breath.
We love our pets unconditionally and they love us the same way. It's a devastating void when we no longer have them. Jaxon had been with my his whole life, so I feel like my routine is out of whack now.
This site has been such a helpful place as I navigate through my grief. I encourage you to keep coming back and talking about Dash. I think it will help. I also write to Jaxon and the helps me feel connected to him.
Cockers are such sweet, lovable companions. I'm sure Dash was a special girl!!
I'm praying for your peace and comfort.
Jennifer
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Allie8239
Thank you all for your kind words. Dash was so special to me. We essentially grew up together. I feel like my right hand is gone. I am so sorry for your losses as well. I am glad that people on this site can share how they are feeling and people can understand the magnitude of a lost furry loved one. Thank you again. It definitely helps and is much appreciated. 
AW
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