cookie8

Hello all, we lost our sweet kitten Bindi on Jan 5th. He was a 9 month old tuxedo with a perfect white dot on his forehead so that's why we called him Bindi! He was such a love and he liked to check out everything we were about to do first.  His nickname was Scout! He was one of the most affectionate cats I've ever had.  He would actually hug you and couldn't get tucked tight enough under your neck.  It was a foggy dark morning and he got out front and was hit by a car.  He was killed instantly by the look of things and a very nice neighbor found him and knocked on our door with the awful news.  We all went through our own types of mourning for him and we seem to be coping pretty well.  I still cry at times but I know it's normal.  This site has helped me so much. My concern and the reason I'm seeking advice is about our older cat Banjo, who only recently began to bond with Bindi. We were a family for 7 months but to be honest Banjo would have prefered him on another planet for the first 3 months. He's 14 years old and has early kidney disease and I know he's not going to be around forever.  He seems sad about Bindi being gone but I'm not sure if I'm projecting my feelings of loss and sadness.  He looks out the window more than usual and has been a bit more restless at times.  Still eating o.k. and he still wants to be petted and adored as usual.  Is getting another cat going to stress him out all over again?  Maybe he won't bond for even longer since he had to lose Bindi. I want his golden years to be happy. What would you do?

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donnalee

Well, I'm so very sorry about precious little Bendi.  I want to commend you for how thoughtful you are being concerning the feelings of your older cat, Banjo.  I don't really know and don't have a recommendation for your question so I'll leave it to others here who have more experience in similar situations.  I'm sure others will be able to share their thoughts with you about bringing another cat in.   I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you. 

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cookie8

Thank you for thinking of me donnalee.  The support I've had from my friends and family has been incredible.  Much appreciated.  By the way, I knew a sheltie once named Emma that was the classiest dog I've ever met. She wore pearls better than Jackie O.  Is that what your dog was or is it a collie?  Either way, very beautiful!

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Meghanm
Hi Cookie. I am really sorry to hear about Bindi. What a tragic loss for you and your family. I really do think that animals grieve for other animals and for humans as well. I do not know much about cats, to be honest, but I can see it with my 3 other dogs missing Sammy. I think they grieve in a way we may not understand or be able to interpret, but makes perfect sense to them. I am really thinking of you and wishing you the best.
Meghan

"If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever." ~ The Crow

"We don't "get over" our losses and just move on, we learn to live differently."
~ http://www.angelbluemist.com/frames/guilt.html
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donnalee
Hi Cookie, 
Yes, Scottie was a Sheltie, a big Sheltie!  A lot of people don't seem to be familiar with the breed---it doesn't seem to be a very popular breed which I don't understand.   People usually thought he was a Collie and called him "Lassie" which didn't bother me at all.  He really looked like a little Collie but is actually a Sheltie.   Thank you for the compliment.  Of course, to me, he was very beautiful and a most handsome boy!  Most of all, he was so sweet and loving and is actually the only dog I've ever had in my life.  I always had cats.  He was SO much more demanding than my cats but he just stole my whole heart.  Now, I love both cats and dogs! 
Adding on to what Meghanm was saying, I do agree that there could be a difference between cats an dogs and the way they grieve.  I have 3 cats and one in particular was "best friends" with Scottie.  They played, cuddled, and slept together.  Smokey groomed Scottie's head just like he was a cat (it was so cute).  I thought I would see signs of him missing Scottie but I never did. 
Now, I DO think I have read other posts about cats grieving the loss of another.  So, it is really a tough call....I guess you have to try to figure out what is best for Banjo.  One thing I DO know about cats is they are very individual and have their own unique personality!  Again, I admire the intent of your heart--- that you are concerned for him.  I hope you are doing OK.  Thinking of you...
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cookie8

Well, maybe I'm crazy but I have been getting some signs lately.  My son's friend brought over her new 9 week old puppy to my office for a visit yesterday and then the neighbor asked if I could babysit her kitten for the weekend.  I keep thinking that Bindi is wanting me to know that I should have another animal to love.  I'm going to take it as a positive message that there is always room in my heart for another, but I still need some time right now.......thanks baby cat for staying connected to me.  We only had 7 months together, but they were some of the sweetest days of my life and we all miss you so much.  Now go play with Asia and tell her I said to be nice!  Love you, mama. 

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