NicoleHardman
My beautiful Miss Piggie,


Nearly six years I spent loving you every moment of every day and your life is over so quickly. No matter how painful it is to replay your passing over and over in my head, I am so thankful I got to be with you in your final moments. You held on and let me kiss you head and tell you that I love you before finally letting go. I don't want my memories of you to be those traumatic final moments. I want to remember how you would romp around the bedroom doing your little oinkies, how you would snuggle close to my face and let me kiss you endlessly, how even towards the end you remained playful and always got excited for breakfast and dinner, how brave you were at each vet visit, and how much happiness and purpose you brought me in this life. 

I prayed to God every night that you would live a long, happy life and I am so thankful that you did. Although no amount of time will ever be long enough, I cherish the many years we had together. Every day being your mommy has filled me with so much excitement and joy. 

Thank you Miss Piggie for the constant support and comfort you have given me. Life is so overwhelming sometimes but I always found peace whenever you were near. It is so hard to explain to others how much you meant to me. I dedicated my life to caring for you and fussing over you and loving you. Every aspect of my day revolved around you and no one will ever understand that.

Sometimes I cannot cry. I know I am sad and heartbroken and I want to cry but I just can't. It's frustrating to me. But I know there is no correct way to grieve or feel emotions. I wish I had someone to support me right now. You were my family and my friend. The nights and mornings are especially hard. Please send your love to me tonight. I am hurting. I think about speaking to someone but I cannot even form coherent statements right now; my brain feels fried and my body feels exhausted. How could words even begin to explain the love I felt, and still feel, for you? Or the pain that I feel now? 

Miss Piggie, I would always tell you that I love you more than you will ever know. I love you! I love you! I love you!

Kisses,
Mommy



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SweetCoco
I’m so sorry for the loss of your little Miss Piggie. You are very lucky that you were with her during her last moments. I didn’t share such luck. May you find some peace in the memory of the happy times that you had her.
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Memories_of_Marmalade

Dear Nicole,

I too am very saddned to learn of your loss of your beloved Miss Piggie. She looks quite amazing and completely adorable in that wonderful photo that you shared in your post.

I hope that you will continue to travel through time and heal and that someday all that shall remain when you think of your Miss Piggie, are only your fondest and most cherished memories of her.

It is so easy to read in your words how much you adored and loved her and I'm sure that she loved and adored you just as much in return. I'm very happy that your paths crossed with one another and that you had 6 joy-filled years together.

Kind regards and my sincerest condolences,
James
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NicoleHardman
Miss Piggie,

It's been a whole week without you now. Why does it feel like just yesterday we were bringing you home as a tiny little baby, ready to give you all the love that we have? Why does it also feel like it's been years since I've held you last? Everything is so strange and it feels as if I am not living in the same world I was when you were here. I had to go back to class yesterday and was so exhausted by the fact that the life keeps moving forward even when you are no longer here with me. I want so much for things to go back to normal, to how they were. We were having so much fun together. We were so happy.

I feel as if I am waiting for something. For this grief to pass? Though I know from experience that it never will entirely pass. For me to wake up from this nightmare? For you to pop out from your hidey? Every time I look into your house I picture you there. I don't know what my future will look like. Without you here for me to base my life around, I feel aimless. Nobody will ever understand how my piggies are the only things I care about in life. I don't have anything else.

I am talking to you everyday Miss Piggie. Do you hear mommies? The sun shined into the apartment this morning. We said, "thank you Miss Piggie for the sun." We held Pepper up in the sun and she warmed her big pink belly. She said, "thank you Miss Piggie for the sun." Watch over Pepper and send her your love. She misses you so much.

Thank you Miss Piggie for so many years of fun. Thank you for an eternity of love. Until we meet again, my sweet sweet Miss Piggie.

Love,
Mommies and Pepper

sillypig.jpg 


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codysmum102
Your Miss Piggie is such a cutie.  When I tell people I have a guinea pig they look at me like really?  They have personalities just like other pets.  I used to call my Felix little turtle because he would drag his house around everywhere he went even brought it on top of his pellet bowl.  He was a funny little guy.  He only lived to be 4 1/2.  His brother, Oscar lived to be 4. He got a tumor.  We tried to do surgery but he ended up dying in my arms 5 days afterwards.  Felix just stopped eating and the vet couldn't do much for him.  We had to put him to sleep.  I miss those little guys.  We still have 1 piggie left.  His name is Vinnie and he's 6.  He loves radicchio lettuce and comes up to the cage everynight to beg for it.  He will listen to you when you talk to him to and lay outside his hut with his leg sticking out as if to say, "I'm too sexy for this cage".  I hope he lives awhile longer.
Julie felix and oscar.jpg Felix and Oscar

vinnie small.jpg  Vinnie
Julie 💔
"Grief only exists where love lived first."
--Franchesca Cox
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bluegreen_eyes
aww so sad to hear that 🙁 
bluegreen_eyes
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NicoleHardman
We got to bring Miss Piggie's ashes home yesterday. It hurt so much to have to go back to the emergency vet that we rushed her to at two in the morning that night she suddenly had trouble breathing. I was trying to be optimistic that night, thinking about all the other times she'd been to the vet and how she'd always recovered and got to go home. I would have done anything, would have given anything, for her to have made it through... but it was just too much and her little body couldn't handle it. It was her time and there was nothing anyone could have done and now I have to live the rest of my life without her. 

Bringing home a baby's ashes is always so hard. It always makes it feel so real. To think, the little body that I petted, bathed, brushed, held, kissed, cuddled, and loved, just reduced to ashes. It is so heartbreaking. We placed Miss Piggie's urn on the bedside table, in between Frosty's urn and Nuggie's urn. It was so painful to look at all three urns together. We lost Frosty in April 2014, Nuggie in January 2016, and now Miss Piggie in February 2020. That's three babies in less than six years. Why does God take them so soon? Did I do something wrong to deserve this?

Miss Piggie came into my life a few weeks after Frosty passed. I had so much love to give and knew that I needed to feel like a mommy again. I also knew that Nuggie needed a friend. I am so grateful that I got to give all my love to Miss Piggie and that she gave me all her love in return. Now Pepper is our only piggy left. She is alone now but the thought of getting another piggy is so scary. To know that no matter how much love I give a guinea pig, how hard I try to protect it, how much of myself I am willing to sacrifice for it to have a good life, that it will not live a very long life compared to my life. Having a baby die every few years is getting to be too much. I looked at the three urns on the table and thought, should Pepper be my last baby? Before I know it will I have four... five... ten...urns on my bedside table?

But the thought of not having guinea pigs in my life is also so scary. I have had guinea pigs for around eleven years now. To not have any would be like to lose a part of my identity. I have so much love to give, and without piggies who would I give it to? I don't have anything else. Guinea pigs are such special creatures and not many people realize it. They are so pure, so much fun to take care of and be around, and they have the most loving little personalities. I always said that the joy and the love that they give me outweighs the pain I feel when they leave. I don't know what my future will look like, I just hope God guides me to where I need to be. 

Miss Piggie, I am so sorry there wasn't anything I could have done to save you. I miss you and love you forever. 

piggypet.jpg 

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codysmum102
What an adorable picture. Bringing home the ashes is so hard. My husband had to get Cody's ashes because I just couldn't go back to the ER vet. Now I have 3 boxes. One for my cat, Moneypenny, one for my piggie, Felix, and one for Cody. Vinnie's will be there next. I wish all our babies could live longer.
Julie
Julie 💔
"Grief only exists where love lived first."
--Franchesca Cox
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NicoleHardman
My beautiful Miss Piggie,

It has been three weeks since you've left us. To think, three weeks is such a short time in the grand scheme of things. Yet, these three weeks have felt like years. Your absence is so profound, so heartbreaking, that I am constantly aware that you are gone. How is it that the years we had together seemed so short, like your life was lived and over in an instant, yet now that you are gone the days seem to be so long? I feel so directionless and everything I do seems so meaningless. I dedicated my life to taking care of you and loving you. Without you, what am I suppose to do? I find myself wandering from room to room just thinking about something I can do to keep my mind busy, but everything seems so pointless. 

These past few weeks have been the worst in my life. I keep thinking that maybe I will feel better soon, but everything I cared about, or looked forward to, or brought me joy, has been taken from me. It seems as if everyone in the world is suffering right now. Everything is spiraling out of control and I cannot foresee the future getting any better. 

I pray each night for your guidance. I say, Miss Piggie, will you help me tomorrow? I am suffering. Will you guide me to where I need to be? I know we cannot physically be together but I know you are always with me and you are always listening. I miss your cuddles and purries. I miss feeding you your veggies every morning and night and seeing how excited you would get. I miss brushing your pretty white rosettes and cleaning your little tootsies when they got dirty. I miss looking into your little face and telling you, I love you Miss Piggie. I love you. Do you hear mommy when she says it aloud? I love you! I love you forever. I love you more than you will ever know. 

My sweet, patient Miss Piggie, please wait for me. We will be together again someday.

Love,
Mommy

sweetpiggie.jpg 
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codysmum102
Nicole,
So eloquently put. Everything you stated is so true. From the time together seeming to be so short in comparison to the time apart, which in reality is the opposite, to feeling so directionless because our lives revolved around our babies.  It's been a little over two months since I lost my Cody and I still miss him so very much. I wish I had an answer to how to make the grieving less painful but unfortunately I don't. Just know you are not alone, take the time you need, acknowledge your feelings and keep posting.  I found that doing those things can help ease the pain and loneliness a bit.
Take care and hang in there,
Julie 💔
"Grief only exists where love lived first."
--Franchesca Cox
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Buddy_Mama
Nicole, your posts here are beautiful... they brought tears to my eyes. I understand everything you're feeling, because I'm feeling all those same things. Know that you're not alone... you have a community of people here who are going through (or have been through) the same thing, have felt the same feelings, and are here to support each other. It helps me to write what I'm feeling here in this forum. I hope it's helping you too. Sending you hugs...
Cindy (Buddy’s mama)
My baby Buddy 5/4/10-3/7/20, rescued March 2011
My sweet Mandy 11/27/91-11/2/10, rescued November 1992
My beautiful Barney 4/28/73-9/7/92, adopted May 1973
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