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jonancy
I have to agree, what an amazing tattoo. It looks so much like your wonderful boy. I am so sorry for your loss.

Jonancy...Scooters Mama
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robz29
Thanks Monica.  He was adorable and the sweetest boy.  I miss him so much.  I'm sorry for your loss as well.
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CB
Wonderful tattoo and a great tribute.
Love you forever and ever and I will be there for you xx
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ahartofilis
Hello Robyn, I just read through your posts and about the loss of your beautiful boy Bailey. I felt an instant connection to you when you described Bailey, being a chocolate Lab. And then I saw his picture and my heart just melted Robyn. I am so very sorry for the loss of your special companion. I was amazed at the tattoo that you had done. What an incredible tribute and a wonderful likeness of him.
   Your boys eyes speak volumes to me. You see, I also had a chocolate Lab named Coco. She was actually a hybrid being half lab, half pointer. Yet in her more mature years she took on the looks of her Labrador traits much more. Looking at Bailey is like looking straight at Coco. They are amazing creatures aren't they?  There is that look of acceptance, a little sadness and easy going nature about them. My girl was diagnosed with bone cancer on Dec 7th, 3 weeks later I had to let her go. She was 10 yrs. old. I had very little time to come to terms with the fact that she would not be able to spend her golden years with me. I still miss her terribly and decided to adopt another Labrador partly to honor the life that I had with her. His name is Rudy. He is a black Labrador, and a big boy at 90 lbs. and 13 month's old. It has been a challenge to open my heart again while still grieving my girl Coco. Yet having him as truly been a blessing.
    I just wanted to share a little bit of my story and journey with you. I think you loved your boy Bailey very much and always will. So much so that he is now imprinted on your heart, soul, and body, forever! Your story touched me and I wanted to let you know that. We all have our own way of paying tribute to our beloved treasured companions. I love the unique way that you have chosen to. Please take care of yourself....................Sincerely, Andrea.
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robz29
Hi Andrea,
Thank you so much for sharing your story and your kind words.  I am so sorry for your loss as well and I am glad my story was able to touch you and connect with you in some way with your sweet Coco.  And Rudy sounds wonderful as well!  I can totally understand the challenge it would be to open your heart again but at the same time I am sure Rudy brings so much joy into your life as well.  

The eyes truly speak volumes don't they?  He always had that sad sort of look to him but so easy going and playful.  He was quite the character when came to playing fetch.  He loved to rub the stinky wet ball on your leg, lol.....thinking of that makes me smile.  I find myself thinking more and more of his good old days when he would play and swim.....more so than the hard times.  Not that they don't come into my mind though.  This grieving process is so hard with so many ups and downs.

As for my tattoo, I didn't plan on doing a portrait at all of him.  Mostly because I already have his actual paw print and a quote tattooed on my ribs (which I had done a year ago when he was still with me).  But for some reason after I had to say goodbye, I knew I had to do it.   To honor him and to help with my healing.  And I am so glad I did.  I miss him so much and think of him constantly. 

Again thank you so much for sharing.  Take care of yourself as well :)
Robyn

 
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robz29
And thanks everyone else as well for your kind words about my tattoo/tribute :)
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robz29
I'm really missing my boy these days....I seemed to be doing better last week.  Even though I think about him all the time constantly, I was able to carry on and not break down.  I have been also able to think of the happy times with my boy.  Instead of dwelling so much on those last days.  But I find myself this week really struggling with it.  I just miss him so much.  I still sometimes can't believe he is gone.  It just doesn't feel real.  I haven't been able to change his room yet, his bedding is still where it was.  That probably isn't helping me at all but I can't get myself to move it. 

I know deep down that it was the right time to let him go but it just hurts so much that he is gone.  I feel he hung on for so long for me now and that makes me so sad.  He was the light of my life, my soul mate.  I don't know what to do with myself some days....my days used to consist so much of a routine with my dogs.  When he was healthy it would be walking, playing with him and my other dog, food schedule, trips etc.  And the last year or so was mostly just taking care of him.  Whatever he needed.  I couldn't really even go away at all overnight as I needed to be here for him.  Now I find myself so lost.  I still have my other boy (10 year old pug) who I adore and love so much as well and my husband has a very special bond with him.  I am able to spend more time with him, walk him, take him places etc which has been great.  At times if feels weird to be out walking without Bailey. 

I feel like I am rambling now.....I just miss my sweet sweet boy terribly.  I am hoping to connect with an animal communicator in a couple weeks and hoping to be able to talk with him and make sure he is ok.  Until then I will try to cherish all the fond memories I have and know that I will see him again one day.  Love you with all my heart Bubba.....xoxo Love Mom
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monicaandmax
Robyn

I'm so sorry you are sad:(
I go through those same ups and downs.
Some days I am ok and other days are unbearable. It is so hard to not have the routine you once had. I understand how you miss Bailey :( he was such a cutie :) reminds me so much of Max :) such a sweet face.

These days I just try to take it hour by hour. I had been wishing for one good day at a time but i think going to have to change my expectations and go hour by hour. I know it sounds cynical but one step at a time right? Hang in there and don't let the sorrow define you. That's what I've been trying to do. Not easy. Sorry you are going through this :(

Monica



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cocolittle
Hi Robyn. I am so sorry for your loss of Bailey. I feel your pain. I put my choc lab coco marie down 15 days ago and it still hurts so much. I felt that I would die from the pain. My baby girl used to sleep on her own recliner. That was her bed. I stare at it and imagine her there again. I can't put her food dish away and i stare at the last place she laid before she had to be carried down the stairs for her last car ride. She loved being in the car sticking her head out the window with the wind in her face. I loved my coco so much that i had planned on moving to a single story home when whe was in her older years when she wouldnt be able to climb them anymore.

You gave Bailey a very good life. They say time heals all wounds but right now i think we both cant imagine when that day will come. We have our memories to help us through. This forum has helped me a lot. Please continue to post and let us know how you are doing. We all care.
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robz29
Thank you so much for your kind words everyone.  It has been 26 days since I had to say goodbye and some days I feel like I am getting better but this week has been tough.  Talking to you guys really helps though so I can't say thank you enough for taking the time to write to me.  It helps to share with others who get what I am feeling.  I just can't believe he is gone sometimes   I miss him terribly. 

Hoping for a better day today.  One step at a time :)
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ahartofilis
robz29 wrote:
I'm really missing my boy these days....I seemed to be doing better last week.  Even though I think about him all the time constantly, I was able to carry on and not break down.  I have been also able to think of the happy times with my boy.  Instead of dwelling so much on those last days.  But I find myself this week really struggling with it.  I just miss him so much.  I still sometimes can't believe he is gone.  It just doesn't feel real.  I haven't been able to change his room yet, his bedding is still where it was.  That probably isn't helping me at all but I can't get myself to move it. 

I know deep down that it was the right time to let him go but it just hurts so much that he is gone.  I feel he hung on for so long for me now and that makes me so sad.  He was the light of my life, my soul mate.  I don't know what to do with myself some days....my days used to consist so much of a routine with my dogs.  When he was healthy it would be walking, playing with him and my other dog, food schedule, trips etc.  And the last year or so was mostly just taking care of him.  Whatever he needed.  I couldn't really even go away at all overnight as I needed to be here for him.  Now I find myself so lost.  I still have my other boy (10 year old pug) who I adore and love so much as well and my husband has a very special bond with him.  I am able to spend more time with him, walk him, take him places etc which has been great.  At times if feels weird to be out walking without Bailey. 

I feel like I am rambling now.....I just miss my sweet sweet boy terribly.  I am hoping to connect with an animal communicator in a couple weeks and hoping to be able to talk with him and make sure he is ok.  Until then I will try to cherish all the fond memories I have and know that I will see him again one day.  Love you with all my heart Bubba.....xoxo Love Mom
   
     
     Hello Robyn, I understand how you are feeling. The mind tells us what to do and how to feel. We try to be positive and carry on yet the heart will always have its own say. Your heart is hurting for your special boy Bailey. It is very difficult to start new routines when all of what you did included your treasured canine companion. It is a good thing that you have your other dog to dote on and carry on with. Yet as I have come to realize, there is no replacement for our special, soul mate, the one that has that special place in our lives and heart.
       You loved Bailey and he was a huge part of your life.  Give yourself time Robyn and be kind to yourself. It is normal for you to have the ups and downs of emotion, especially in the first few weeks. Things will get better, although we always want them here with us, we learn to accept that they are with us in other ways, in spirit, in our hearts. The love you had with Bailey will find a way to keep him close to you!!...............Please take care of yourself............my thoughts are with you...............Sincerely, Andrea, Coco, Rudy.
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robz29
Thank you so much Andrea for your kind words.  You are bang on with saying the heart will always have its own say.  And you are right it is good I have my other boy to focus on and love as well.  He is older too (10 years) and needs some special attention as well.  Although there will never be a replacement for my sweet boy I do have my own special love and bond for my little guy Spencer.  It helps to have him around and he has always been a part of me too, but Bailey has this special place that no one else will have. 

My boys didn't have a whole lot of interaction in the last I would say 8 months or so when Bailey was just resting and keeping to himself for the most part.  They were around each other but didn't walk together anymore or enjoy any of the bonding that they used to have.  Because Bailey just wasn't able to.  So Spencer seems to be handling the loss pretty well I think, at least for the most part.  There was a day last week where I couldn't find him...when I did he was sitting in the corner on Bailey's bed in Bailey's room.  He never ever did that before....it broke my heart in that moment.  I felt sadness for my boy Spencer and I know he misses his brother too.   I love Spencer so very much too and want to help him through this as well.

I love how you said to be kind to myself.  I have read that as well in other places so I really need to keep a hold of that.  

Again I appreciate everyone on here so much.  You help to make this a little less painful just by being able to share how we are feeling and have people understand.

Thank you again.

Robyn

 
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