Rosebud
I had Baylor for 11 years and he was one of the best pets I have ever had.  He was with me when we would make road trips and was my constant companion.  I lost him a few days ago to cancer, making the decision to put him down was the hardest decision I've ever had to make, and now I miss him terribly.  My house feels empty without him, I'm lost without him and I can't stop crying, I miss him so much that I can't concentrate on anything but him.  I packed up his toys, bed and dishes but the pain of not having him around is unbearable.  I think of the happy times we had together, but then the memory of his last car ride gets me crying again.
Sandy Williams
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sashabear
Man... I so know what you're going through. I lost my pup Sasha of 11+ years 6 weeks ago to the dreaded C word. I wish I could tell you that the pain you're going to feel is going to subside soon or that you'll be "fine" in a bit. But that's not unfortunately how this works. The fur babies are a different breed of hurt. They remind us of love and happiness for our relationships with them our ours. They're also geared to be there for us and provide those moments of happiness when somedays that's all of it you get. This is the hardest thing I've personally ever been through. I've buried friends, family, bad breakups, all of it... Nothing compares to this. So if I may, it's OK. This pain is acute. I haven't had a day that I didn't cry for at least a bit. I've had times where all I could do is sob uncontrollably. You're going to have that. If Baylor was as awesome as you say he was then man... Let it flow Sandy. Cry your eyes out. I did, I do. I'm not ashamed. Concentration is difficult when your life is tossed in the swirl of grief. My sweet girl lived with me in 7 cities and 5 states and most of the time I was single and she was my everything. Best bud, trusted confidant, intimate cuddler, constant smile maker... You name it... She served that purpose. I don't even know most days how I'm supposed to feel or how I'm supposed to carry on. BUT... I do. You will. I would suggest allowing yourself to feel everything. Every emotion. Talk about it. Journal about it. It's helped me. It's weird how it turns your life upside down. I used to love just being "alone" or just me and her and I was comfortable with that because I dug her more than humans to be honest. Now... I hate being alone. I'm scared of my own thoughts and at nighttime when I lay down to sleep the memory reel starts to play and it's painful still. BUT... After 6 weeks while I'm still shaken from it I have gotten stronger and I can at least think about her without crying... Most of the time... Haha. I feel stronger and sometimes weaker. The days, weeks, and months ahead are going to be rough. But... I'm not too far ahead but I know enough about this hell that I am sure glad there's stuff like this... Because this sucks. The silence is the loudest thing you'll ever feel. I would suggest if you can sleep at a friend's or family members home for a few days or see if you can have someone stay with you. I had to. I actually had to have my girl put down and then drive across country alone. 2500 of the longest miles I've ever driven. When I did get to my destination even after I moved in I couldn't do it. Know this... You're way stronger than you think you are. One day, one moment at a time.  
ryan hetrick
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Rosebud
Thank you Ryan, everything you've gone through I'm going through now. Reading your post sounded just like me, I hate being alone and Baylor was always there for me.   I have and will continue to cry my eyes out, today I had moments of uncontrollable sobbing and I know it will only continue.  Thanks for all the advice you gave, I think staying elsewhere for awhile will help ease the pain.
Sandy Williams
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sashabear
As weird as it sounds staying somewhere else was key for me. I crashed at my parent's house for a few days and slept on a friends couch and drank whiskey and beer and just chatted. I still didn't sleep very well (still not) but it certainly helped. I was happy to have a pup to love on too because they have a sense of things too. My parent's dog is really old and she knew I was distressed and she was super cuddly and it helped for sure. Even if the fur baby isn't yours, it sure helps to have them around to love on. Good luck to you Sandy. I'm glad I could help even if just a little bit. Trust me... I know. This ain't fun. But allow yourself to smile when you think of him. 
ryan hetrick
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