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MissingScooty

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Reply with quote  #31 
After getting up off the floor, my boyfriend called and offered to drive me to my ladies Bible study (and we were having pizza night too there). I didn't feel like eating much less socializing, but I managed to stop crying and I went. And, I did feel better after going. I went because a big snow storm is scheduled to hit here tomorrow so I probably won't be able to attend my grief support group then. I really was in no shape to drive last night so thankful my boyfriend supported me in that way.
There is a fine line between grieving alone, and isolating too much I think

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Missing and loving Scooter Forever
- Melissa
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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #32 
That was sweet of him--that was a real blessing! I'm so glad you were able to get out and be with people. I think it does make a difference.

Hoping today somehow is much easier. It sounds like you were hit with such a massive wave yesterday.  Many hugs...

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-Missing Marissa deeply
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MissingScooty

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Reply with quote  #33 
So this Tuesday will be three month anniversary. I'm dreading it.
There were lots of tears today about him...the deep longing, missing him came back in such a powerful way. So so much I miss about him. Oh how he made me laugh! This morning, I sang his little "Good morning to you Scooter" song I used to sing...thinking maybe that would help, but instead I burst into tears. So much for that idea.
I did get out today - twice - for social activities. When I wasn't out though, I was napping or laying, resting. Sometimes crying. (I am in a fibromyalgia flare up and needed lots of rest today).
Hope everyone else is having a better day 😉

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Missing and loving Scooter Forever
- Melissa
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COOKIES4

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Reply with quote  #34 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissingScooty
My dog Scooter passed away at 2 am in my arms December 13, 2017. I had made a euthanasia appointment for that morning. He went downhill so fast! The only thing that showed in tests two weeks earlier were high liver enzymes. (I had insisted on a blood test, told the vet he wasn't acting himself even tho he was 14 1/2 yrs old). After the liver enzymes up, vet put him on a liver protection supplement. Said it could be cancer, virus, bacterial infection. Couldn't tell without a biopsy or other extensive testing (and painful). He recommended to retest liver enzymes after a month on the liver supplement. Well, my dog never made it that long. Two weeks later he stopped eating completely. A quick visit to vet (saw another one in the practice this time,)  I asked her point blank if my dog was dying. She said we don't know yet if the supplement will work. By the next day, my dog was peeing blood! I was hysterical. I called this same vet back. She said it could be from the stress of the last visit seeing her. What?!!!! I said my dog is suffering terribly! She said well we don't need to make this decision today. He passed away 2 a.m. that night, in my arms. His actual death was peaceful, but I think only because I prayed. I miss him so so much.
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COOKIES4

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Reply with quote  #35 
SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT SCOOTER AND YOUR LOSS. MY SPARKY A PRECIOUS COCKATIEL BIRDIE PASSED DECEMBER 28TH 2017.WE BOTH ARE CLOSE TO THE SAME TIMELINE. SPARKY WAS 29 YEARS OLD AND REALLY NOT SICK...

HE HAD HIS AMAZING LONGEVITY FROM TGE COCKATOO * COUSIN OF COCKATIEL
.IT HAS BEEN 72 DAYS AND SEEMS NO DIFFERENT IN MY HORRIBLE GRIEF. DO YOU HAVE HIS CREMAINS AS THEY REFER TO THEM AS? SHARE WITH THIS FORUM WE ALL ARE HERE FOR YOU AND SUPPORT EACH OTHER. I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO GRIEVES FOR A BIRDIE. DOES SCOOTER HAVE A MEMORIAL BRIDGE RESIDENCE YET.

HERE IS MY PRECIOUS BABY SPARKY.

FRIENDS,
JOAN AND JIM SPARKY'S MOMMY AND DADDY
,LOW VISION NOT YELLING

Attached Images
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RileysMom

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Reply with quote  #36 
Melissa,

Many, many hugs to you on this anniversary. They are the worst for bringing back memories and opening up the grief wounds. I know what you mean about singing the songs we sang making it worse. I still can’t say Riley’s name outloud without choking up and tears coming to my eyes. Good grief, I’m tearing up just typing this. What’s hard especially is how strange her name feels on my tongue when I do say it outloud now. It’s like my mouth muscles haven’t been exercised in that form for a while and have gotten out of shape. It’s like my mouth ached with the memory of that name. Utterly heartbreaking. I imagine much was the same for you with that song.

I’m glad you’ve been getting out though despite the fibromyalgia flare up, that’s important. Keep hanging in there. You’ll be in my thoughts throughout this anniversary time.

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—Loving Riley, Rosy & Axl always 🐾

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COOKIES4

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Reply with quote  #37 
Quote:
Originally Posted by RileysMom
Melissa,

Many, many hugs to you on this anniversary. They are the worst for bringing back memories and opening up the grief wounds. I know what you mean about singing the songs we sang making it worse. I still can’t say Riley’s name outloud without choking up and tears coming to my eyes. Good grief, I’m tearing up just typing this. What’s hard especially is how strange her name feels on my tongue when I do say it outloud now. It’s like my mouth muscles haven’t been exercised in that form for a while and have gotten out of shape. It’s like my mouth ached with the memory of that name. Utterly heartbreaking. I imagine much was the same for you with that song.

I’m glad you’ve been getting out though despite the fibromyalgia flare up, that’s important. Keep hanging in there. You’ll be in my thoughts throughout this anniversary time.
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COOKIES4

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Reply with quote  #38 
Re ROSY. DID YOU READ ABOVE ABOUT THE BABY WHO WAS PUT ON A LIVER ENZYMES SUPPLEMENT?CONCERN ABOUT ROSY. ..PLEASE UPDATE ME. . SORRY WHAT IS THIS ANNIVERSARY TIMELINE. PRAYERS ARE HERE FOR YOU WE CARE SO MUCH.
HUGS AND FRIENDSHIP
JOAN AND JIM SPARKY'S MOMMY AND DADDY
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Reply with quote  #39 
Quote:
Originally Posted by catiebee
That was sweet of him--that was a real blessing! I'm so glad you were able to get out and be with people. I think it does make a difference.

Hoping today somehow is much easier. It sounds like you were hit with such a massive wave yesterday.  Many hugs...

Attached Images
jpeg 20161113_202338_LLS.jpg (2.99 MB, 2 views)
jpeg Sparky.jpg (40.85 KB, 2 views)

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COOKIES4

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Reply with quote  #40 
JOAN FOR SPARKY..GRIEF IS ENGULFING ME STILL NO SLEEP. MISSING HIM SO MUCH THERE IS TRAILS OF HIM AND REMEMBERS IN EVERY ROOM, HIS SPECIAL SEED CO IN FRIG HIS SWEET SMELL IS MISSED IN MY NOSTRILS. I MISS HIS VOICE, I CANNOT STOP CRYING, I UNDERSTAND ABOUT OUR HIGHER POWER, IS THIS WHY IT WAS MEANT FOR SPARKY TO BE AT THE STAGES OF PASSING WHEN I WENT TO GET HIM UP FOR DINNER. LATER THEN USUAL.I SCREAMED FOR JIM SO I DID NOT SEE HIS EARLIER SUFFERING, HE WAS SO SCARED HE WAS PANTING COULD NOT BREATHE, HE IS A LITTLE BIRD BUT WAS A SUPER SOIL AND SPECIAL PART OF OUR LIVES FOR 29 YEARS AND 30 ON 2/14/18. HE PASSED 12/28/2017.PLEASE KNOW HOW MUCH I PRAY AND SYMPATHIZE WITH EVERYONR. PLEASE PRAY FOR ME, I AM SCARED.THIS WAS MOLTING TIME FOR HIM, I HAVE EVERY FEATHER IN PLASTIC BAGS MARKED FOR EVERY MOLT FOR 29 AND ALMOST 30 MOLTS, HE WAS NEVER CLIPPED AND WAS A BEAUTIFUL FULL FEATHERED COCKATIEL. SPARKY US THE ONLY BIRD IN THIS FORUM. WISH I COULD MEET ANOTHER PERSON WHO MAY OT BE POSTING. YET AND SO APPRECIATE MY PRECIOUS NEW KNOWLEDGE OF KITTIES AND DOGGIES. JIM HAD A YORKE WHO PASSED YEARS,AGO AT 27, HIS NAME WAS. SPUNKY. COINCIDENCE. . RAMBLING TRYING TO SLEEP A BIT AND LISTEN TO MY AUDIOBOOK. WANT TO FI D A KI G JAMES BIBLE EITHER LARGE PRINT OR AUDIOBOOK.



FRIENDS
JOAN AND JIM SPARKYS MOMMY AND DADDY







Attached Images
jpeg 20170105_224447_LLS_resized_2.jpg (238.55 KB, 2 views)
jpeg 20161225_211105_LLS_resized_1.jpg (246.67 KB, 2 views)
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jpeg 20170922_202122_LLS_resized_1.jpg (225.83 KB, 2 views)
jpeg 20171031_225147_LLS_resized.jpg (318.20 KB, 2 views)

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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #41 
Hi Melissa, 

I'm so sorry for all the pain that is stirred up with this anniversary! It is amazing the way everything in the world just keeps on going, while it feels like our worlds as we knew them came to a halt in one awful moment.  It feels unfair.

My heart goes out to you very very much about your hurt, all the tears and for your greatly missing Scooty. I think we all keep hoping that each time the grief returns, that it will be diluted, not as hard-hitting and strong. But no. *sigh*  I wish all of this was easier for you, for all of us here.

I wonder if the song hurts so much because it contained so much joy while he was alive. I so wish your little joy bundle was still with you, still bringing you giggles and the warmth of his presence. Life feels so harsh without them.

I understand fibro pain is beyond hideous. I am so, so sorry you have to deal with that and I hope you get relief from this flare up! Physical pain alone can make a person feel teary. 

Praying for your comfort on every level today, Melissa. I hope today will hold some real bright spots and encouragement for you, along with much grace for your journey. Many hugs!!


 

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-Missing Marissa deeply
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COOKIES4

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Reply with quote  #42 
Quote:
Originally Posted by catiebee
Hi Melissa, 

I'm so sorry for all the pain that is stirred up with this anniversary! It is amazing the way everything in the world just keeps on going, while it feels like our worlds as we knew them came to a halt in one awful moment.  It feels unfair.

My heart goes out to you very very much about your hurt, all the tears and for your greatly missing Scooty. I think we all keep hoping that each time the grief returns, that it will be diluted, not as hard-hitting and strong. But no. *sigh*  I wish all of this was easier for you, for all of us here.

I wonder if the song hurts so much because it contained so much joy while he was alive. I so wish your little joy bundle was still with you, still bringing you giggles and the warmth of his presence. Life feels so harsh without them.

I understand fibro pain is beyond hideous. I am so, so sorry you have to deal with that and I hope you get relief from this flare up! Physical pain alone can make a person feel teary. 

Praying for your comfort on every level today, Melissa. I hope today will hold some real bright spots and encouragement for you, along with much grace for your journey. Many hugs!!


 
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COOKIES4

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Reply with quote  #43 
MY PHYSICAL PAIN FROM OSTEOARTHRITIS IS NOW IN THE BACKGROUND DUE TO MY OVERWHELMING GREIF AFTER MY SPARKY PASSED ON DECEMBER 28TH OF 2017.
I HAVE HAD DOUBLE TOTAL HIP REPLACEMENTS AT. ONCE, FOOT SURGERY WITH SCREWS AND PINSIDES AND CASTING. BOTH FEET CROOKED TOES. LIVE IN SOCKS AND FUZZIE ON MY FEET. HANDS AND FINGERS PAINFUL AND CROOKED. SYMPATHY FOR EVERYONE IN PHYSICAL AND MENTAL PAIN.
FRIENDS
JOAN AND JIM SPARKY'S MOMMY AND DADDY
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MissingScooty

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Reply with quote  #44 
Thank you, everyone.  Catie you are so right, each month annivesary I think - well maybe this time the pain won't be as intense....um wrong! (at least so far as of 3 months)
Today I really lost it asking God to just take me today (over and over again) so I can reunite with my dog and my parents (I know it is wrong to commit suicide, so I asked God to make the decision). Thus far I am still here so I think God disagrees with my timing!
In my searching for quotes about grief I found what I thought is the very best grief graphic so far, about the many many feelings and stages we all go through, and back and forth, in. I will try to find it again and start in a separate thread.

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Missing and loving Scooter Forever
- Melissa
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Purzel

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Reply with quote  #45 
Melissa,
Just read your thread and I am so so sorry for your loss. What a tragedy! My heart goes out to you. I am very glad that God disagrees with your timing because He has other plans for you. He knows about your grief but He also trusts in you. Scooter is now in a lovely place and so happy without any suffering. You are here giving comfort and love to so many of us and we are all with you feeling the same terrible pain but we all also know deep down in our hearts that this pain will not last forever - but our love surely will! Love cannot die, Melissa.

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