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MissingScooty

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Reply with quote  #1 
My dog Scooter passed away at 2 am in my arms December 13, 2017. I had made a euthanasia appointment for that morning. He went downhill so fast! The only thing that showed in tests two weeks earlier were high liver enzymes. (I had insisted on a blood test, told the vet he wasn't acting himself even tho he was 14 1/2 yrs old). After the liver enzymes up, vet put him on a liver protection supplement. Said it could be cancer, virus, bacterial infection. Couldn't tell without a biopsy or other extensive testing (and painful). He recommended to retest liver enzymes after a month on the liver supplement. Well, my dog never made it that long. Two weeks later he stopped eating completely. A quick visit to vet (saw another one in the practice this time,)  I asked her point blank if my dog was dying. She said we don't know yet if the supplement will work. By the next day, my dog was peeing blood! I was hysterical. I called this same vet back. She said it could be from the stress of the last visit seeing her. What?!!!! I said my dog is suffering terribly! She said well we don't need to make this decision today. He passed away 2 a.m. that night, in my arms. His actual death was peaceful, but I think only because I prayed. I miss him so so much.
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Missing and loving Scooter Forever
- Melissa
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Chinadoll

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Reply with quote  #2 
I am so sorry for your loss, I know how heartbreaking this is. I do believe in prayer and I prayed for a peaceful passing of my old buddy, and it was. Sometimes it seems that is all we can do, you were with him to the end, Scooter knows that you were there, he knows how much you loved him. Sometimes the vets just don't seem to have the answers but know that your bond with him will last for eternity and I believe you will be reunited one day, forever. My other little dog, my heart dog passed at age 10, suddenly, there was nothing I could do or the vets could do. It broke my heart. The grief is far more than we expect, but know that slowly, your heart will heal some, it will never be the same again, but one day you will be able to smile when you think of Scooter. I wish there was something I could say to ease your pain, grief must run its course. I will be praying for you, Scooter is in a wonderful place, looking after you, living in your heart and soul, forever. Blessings to you.
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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #3 
I hate that you went through this with Scooter and that the one vet was so dense. I'm so sorry for all your grief. Our sweet babies absolutely take a chunk of our hearts when they go and adjusting to a new normal feels impossible at first. 

I sure understand the heartache of missing such a treasured pet. It's terribly hard. I wish you much peace and comfort and easier days ahead.

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Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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MissingScooty

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Reply with quote  #4 
Thank you both so much. I had started to write more but my computer froze up. Scooter was my heart dog. He was with me through a divorce (and subsequent house loss) and the death of both my parents in 2016. He laid quietly next to me when I had migraines, somehow "knowing" I was not feeling well.  The emptiness and loneliness I feel seem unbearable without him. I hate coming home and he is not there. I hate waking up and he is not there. I hate driving in the car and he is not there (I work with elderly clients in their homes and I brought him to one client's apartment frequently)
My boyfriend of two years is also hurting from this loss and so I feel like I can't lean on him. I will try to post a photo on here if I can figure out how....


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RileysMom

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Reply with quote  #5 
I’m really sorry for your loss of Scooter. It hurts very much, and never feels right no matter what circumstances they go under.

I hate how vets can be so unhelpful at times. No hatred meant to all the good vets out there. But it’s been a struggle in my area to find a decent vet. In the good ol’ days, it seemed like there were more vets that were knowledgeable and caring. Now, I feel like all I can do is find a vet who instead of diagnosing my dog, wants to give me heartworm medicine and schedule me for a dental cleaning. That’s what’s been happening with my one dog who started having seizures out of the blue at age 10. My vet offered me their “senior panel” blood test for close to $300, which gave us no answers. When I asked how we could find out what was causing her seizures, she shrugged, said they just happen sometimes and I should make an appointment for a dental cleaning. Even though according to the vet her teeth have nothing to do with the seizures. Any other test that’s been done has been done at my request.

I don’t mean to post a rant in the middle of all you’re going through. Just to let you know you’re not alone with this. Sometimes the people who are supposed to help us are the most unhelpful of all. I’m sorry it all went down like that for you.

Dogs are the best, I don’t think any human could provide the level of comfort they give us when going through the most difficult times of our lives. I’m glad you had Scooter with you through those times. If possible, maybe you and your boyfriend could lean on each other a little bit? Because the two of you are both hurting through this, you two know better than most what you’re feeling. Share stories and feeling together... With that said, we’re always here for the two of you. Post freely on here as much as needed. We look forward to seeing pics of Scooter!

Peace and love to you and Scooter.

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Val
—Loving Riley, Rosy & Axl always 🐾

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JimTrip

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Reply with quote  #6 
I'm very sorry to read about your losing Scooter, let alone what sounded like non-optimal circumstances with the vet.  I mean it's a difficult enough time as it is.  Being able to have confidence in the doctor taking care of your doggie is so important, especially when you're having to make life-altering decisions like you did. 

You know, I usually believe that there are no coincidences and that my Higher Power is always taking me down a specific path for good reasons.  I can't help but think that Scooter died at home in your arms because God knew that was the best place for both of you to be at that time.  I prayed to my Higher Power about giving me the wisdom to know what to do regarding whether to have my girl put to sleep.  Thus, my beautiful dog Tink passed over while in my arms two weeks ago, but she was being euthanized.  I was holding her tightly, whispering in her ear, crying and snotting everywhere.  The pain has been stunning and deeper than I could've expected.  

I hope I'm making some kind of sense here.  What I'm trying to get across is that I felt the pain in your words, and I'm sorry you're having to having to go through it.  I expect that it is something all of us who love our pets have to endure at some time or another.  Someone named Nancy commented on one of my posts about Tink, and it really made an impression on me even in my fog of grief.  She had also recently lost a much-loved pet like us.  She said, "We will get through this, Jim."  I believe her.  

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James L Trippe
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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #7 
Scooter sounds like such a special dog. I don't know what I would have done without my girl during the divorce and the first few years afterward. 

I so hear you about the empty lonely feelings and how hard it is to not see him when you get home.  I know all of this is supposed to get better with time but it's so hard. It really is. And my heart goes out to you.

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Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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MissingScooty

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Reply with quote  #8 
SCOOTER BEGGING.jpg

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Missing and loving Scooter Forever
- Melissa
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MissingScooty

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Reply with quote  #9 
There I finally figured out how to post a picture of him. I still find it hard to look at photos, almost 2 months later. Thank you everyone for your support and kind words and prayers. It is so hard to believe this intense pain will ease up one day, but others who have lost dogs assure me it will. I remembered an acronym for HOPE yesterday and it helped me: Hang On Pain Ends

I find I can't concentrate and have very little motivation. I do go to work, get out of bed every day etc...pay my bills. But I know I need to look for a better job and other things I need to do. I get mad at myself I am not doing more. I know I am supposed to be patient with myself but I am not. Someone wise told me "There is no fast track through grief"   oh but how we all wish there was, right?

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Missing and loving Scooter Forever
- Melissa
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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #10 
Wow, what a charmer!! He's a doll baby!

Yeah. Grief takes as long as it takes. And it takes too long. *sigh* 

That hope acronym is a good one!

Try not to hold it over yourself that you're not getting more accomplished. Grief is really hard work and it saps our energy. The fact that you're doing life in the midst of such heartache IS a real accomplishment.

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Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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MissingScooty

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Reply with quote  #11 
Thanks Catie...I had my first dream about him last night...hard! I wish everyone understood like the people on this forum did.

hope your pain is a little less. I was thinking a more accurate acronym for HOPE might be...Hang On Pain Eases...because I doubt it will completely ever End while on this earth anyway. We may have moments of little to no pain, however 😉

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Missing and loving Scooter Forever
- Melissa
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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #12 
Sorry to hear you had a dream that made things harder, MissingScooty. 

I'm having a better day, gratefully. No cakewalk by any means, but I was drowning in grief yesterday.

I think you're exactly right. And ease of any kind is welcome, as is any form of "better."  Loss is for sure an integral part of life on this planet but there's not one of us who like it and who doesn't hurt when it comes.

Best to you tonight! I hope you've had some encouragement and comfort today.

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Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #13 
Wondering how you're doing, MissingScooty.  Just wanted to stop in and let you know you're being thought of. It's a tough, tough journey and no one should have to travel it alone. 

I hope today is a gentle day for you.

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Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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MissingScooty

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Reply with quote  #14 
Hi Catie,
Thanks for checking in 😉   I am up and down. Some moments I miss him so bad it almost hurts physically. I just miss so much about him! He really was my best friend. I am trying at night to watch the Olympics to keep my mind off it, but at the same time, I just got two new books about dealing with pet grief that I am starting to read.
How are you doing????

- Melissa

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Missing and loving Scooter Forever
- Melissa
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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #15 
Hi Melissa,

I get it. It's a roller coaster emotionally.  A bit better, a bit worse. A big wave of grief from something seemingly small. They completely capture our hearts and wrap themselves in our love.

I've been doing some of the same. Watching some of the Olympics. I've tried to get out of the apartment more and spend more time with people. Like you, I bought some pet-loss books, but I haven't been in the mood to read them yet.
Quote:

Some moments I miss him so bad it almost hurts physically. I just miss so much about him! 


Isn't that the truth?  They take up so much room in our space--expecting to see them in certain spots is reallllly hard. And the thoughts keep coming of tending their needs. Marissa was my best friend, too. I talked to her all through the day and it feels like a huge part of me is missing. 

I know the grief process is moving forward for us both and that it all takes time. *sigh*  Much patience needed! The good days will increase and the harder days will get easier.

Take care of you!

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Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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