Beenersmom Show full post »
msweet13
Dearest BeenersMom - I am so so sorry for the loss of your beloved Beener. I know exactly what you are feeling when you talk about the loss. My Brutus has been gone 13 weeks today and the nightmare today is the same as it was on that day. Brutus kept my world together when my mother passed away in October 2017. When he died, the grief I had for losing my mother hit me like a tidal wave along with all the grief I was feeling about losing my precious Brutus. I was, and still am, broken and lost. This site has helped me make it from one day to the next. I have to struggle just to get up in the morning. I understand your pain and you are not alone. I wish you warm hugs and blessings of comfort.
Denise (Brutus' Mom)
Brutus von Dolce
06/19/2006 - 03/16/2018
RIP my sweet beautiful boy
Quote 0 0
COOKIES4
beenersmom. HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY. JUST CHECKING IN TO SEE IF YOU HAD ANY CRUMBS OF PEACE SPRINKLE ON YOU FROM HEAVEN

JOAN AND JIM SPARKY'S MOMMY AND DADDY
Quote 0 0
COOKIES4
DEAREST BEENERSMOM. GLAD YOU WROTE. HAVE YOU FOUND YOUR CAT? IS HE/SHE AN INSIDE CAT. WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU GO TO YOUR PARENT'S AND HE WANTS TO GET BACK IBSUDE. WHAT STATE ARE YOU IN? WE ARE IN INDIANA AND IT IS ALMOST 100° HERE. MY BEST FRIEND IN AZ MADE ME THIS, IT US A MAH JONG BRACELET WITH A PEACOCK ON IT. SHE IS HELPING ME THRU THIS VIA EMAIL
And a few of SPARKY'S 28 FAVORITE THINGS.
CAN YOU SHARE MORE OF BEENER AND YOUR OTHER FUR BABY



BLESS YOU
Joan and Him, Sparky's mommy and daddy

Quote 0 0
Snowfire
I'm crying too and don't even have the words to say except I'm there too. I never had the family I wanted either though we tried and then I lost him too. So my pets are my babies. My brother and his wife have many dogs Like yours and I love your photos. Too cute so sweet and you can see the special spirit there. God knows we love our babies. He is the God of love and understanding I remind myself every day.
Quote 0 0
JennyTeddy
Beenersmom wrote:
Thank you Jenny and Joan. I am so sorry for the loss of your babies too.  It's so gut wrenching. I can't believe your bird lived that long, that's amazing! If only all of our fur babies could live that long....
I relate with your pain and sadness.  I made myself get up today. I have to go pick up Beener and I dread it so much. I want him home with me but it's going to break my heart to pick him up in a box.  The house is different without him. A level of joy in the home is gone. I put his picture in his covers on the bed with me last night in his spot, just to imagine him laying there.  
All Roxy is interested in right now is chasing squirrels. I take her to the park 3 times a day just to see her perk up. Otherwise she just sleeps and it breaks my heart. She isn't eating much or playing.
I'm going home to GA to mom and dads tomorrow. It's going to be so hard as it was such fun to take Beener to "Grammy and Grumpy's" and they spoiled him so much. They were the only other people he trusted.  They always had chicken and treats for them and Beener would run in the door and beg for food as soon as he got there.
I may take him with me for this trip as i can't see leaving him at home. It might break their heart too but I feel I need to. I just can't leave him yet.  My mother has late stage Parkinson's and Beener brought her so much joy and made her smile, which is rare.  She's going to be so upset too.  
Today is 6 years since my ex left me.  This week is awful.  Also, my cat is now missing. I hope he's ok, I couldn't take another loss this week. It would break me.
Jenny, it's gonna be ok.  I promise.  You definitely loved and felt the special soul of your Teddy like I do my Beener.  I know they wouldn't want us to be stuck in grief, so we need to work on getting better each day.  I might get a cuddle clone. Have you seen those??


BeenersMom,

I have seen the cuddle clones. I remember typing in stuff animals so I had something to cuddle/snuggle with and I came across that site. They are very realistic but I can’t remember if they are something you can sleep with like a stuffed toy. I’ll have to take a look again.

I know our babies don’t want us stuck in grief and I truly do try my hardest to get better but this is the hardest, most painful, and heartbreaking thing that has ever happened to me. I have never experienced grief of losing a loved one. Learning to go through life without Teddy and learning to cope without Tedt is new for me and I don’t like it. I know there is nothing I can do but go through the grief.

Trying to stay happy in ny grief without Teddy.... feels like.... I’m swimming in the ocean with a weight tied to my ankle and I’m trying to keep afloat as waves from both angels are pushing me from swimming straight. It’s so hard.

I know Teddy doesn’t want me to be sad, he didn’t like me sad and always comforted me but he was also so understanding and I know he sees me sad and it makes him sad when he is by me spiritually, knowing his spiritual form comforting isn’t exactly the same as physically being there. I know he was sad that his body was giving up on him, I know he didn’t want to leave. I think he knows and understands my sadness and heartbreak. I think he knew how devestated is be without him and that’s why he stayed strong for so long. He was a fighter. I know he doesn’t want me sad, but I think he understands and knows I’ll be strong one day. I feel him by my side. Watching videos helps make it feel like he is here with me.

I’m sorry you’re going through such a painful heart break as well. You’ve been in my thoughts. Sending you lots of love, hugs and comfort.

If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever.

  
Quote 0 0
Beenersmom
Thank you everyone for your dear sweet words of hope and love.  I'm still in shock over losing my boy.

Yesterday I went and picked up his ashes. It was so difficult to do but I know he wants to be home with me the most so I made myself do it.  It's horrible to know though he's in that little box and not my arms.  There's such an emptiness there.  I'm snuggling Roxy and keeping her occupied to try to cheer her up.  She misses him so bad too.  My heart breaks for her as she doesn't understand what's going on.  

My cat has not come home yet.  He left the day that Beener died.  His name is Sylvester, one of the two brothers that i have from a litter that i rescued in 2012 and my sweet Roxy raised them.  She even nursed them.  Fatty and Sylvester are so bonded.  I can't fathom losing two animals in one day so I'm holding out hope that he is coming home.  I don't think I can take that kind of a blow right now.  Today is the third day so I am really getting worried about him.  :(  

Denise, I'm so sorry about your precious Brutus. He is such a handsome man.  I hope your pain eases as well. I know we will never fully recover from the loss of our babies but maybe it'll sting a little less as we go along.  I'm hoping so at least. Hang in there and know you're not alone.

Silvia, also I am so sorry about Max.  I know he was your baby too and meant so much to you.  We have to remember they're here in spirit.  It doesn't ease the pain though.... 

Joan, I am in Knoxville, TN.  It's hot here.  I'm supposed to go home to GA today for Fathers Day but I hate leaving without Sylvester at home.  I am praying he comes home today.  I'm going to go to the shelter to see if maybe he's been picked up.  Your babies toys are so cute and i know you cherish them!!

Jenny, the Cuddle Clones are a custom plush of your baby.  Yes they are hugable like a stuffed animal. I am going to get one when I get the money, I think it will help me in bed at night to hold him.  I can put his favorite tshirt on it too.....I need something to hold to remind me of him.  Keep looking forward Jenny the best you can.  It's hard to experience loss in life, I have MANY times and will again soon as my mother is very sick but trust that love never dies.  The grief is awful and we both are in that place but try not let it consume every minute. I went to the pool a few minutes yesterday, reluctantly, but it helped to get in the water to soothe me.  Try something for yourself today that you enjoy and imagine Teddy with you.

Sending love to you all.  Thank you, it means the world to have your support.   IMG_0387.jpg  IMG_0399.jpg  IMG_0625.jpg   IMG_1506.jpg 
Quote 0 0
Lillymylove
Hi Beenersmom I’m so sorry to hear of your loss, I lost my little gorgeous girl Lilly 9 months ago and I still cry most days, I couldn’t stand that her ashes were in a cold box so we sent away for a bereavement bear and put her ashes inside, it has her name on one foot and a lovely message on the other, I can cuddle her again now and take her to bed It’s just an idea but it really does help, take care Dave
David 
Quote 0 0
COOKIES4
DAVE WHERE DID YOU GET THE BEREAVEMENT BEAR. I STILL HAVE SPARKYS LITTLE SKELETON ON A COLD TIN CAN THEY GAVE US. OF COURSE HE IS A COCKATIEL MAYBE THERE IS SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOR MY PRECIOUS SPARKY
HUGS TO YOU
BEENERSMOM, THINKING OF YOU. TAKE CARE
JOAN SPARKY'S MOMMY AND JIM SPARKY'S DADDY
Quote 0 0
Nina72
Berners mom ...what a beautiful story You wrote.You have been through so much..I am so sorry for Your loss.It is so hard to grieve alone.i lost my little Jordan(min.poodle) only yesterday and last night got barely any sleep tears were flowing and my thoughts were spinning.I still have one more dog left but my eldest daught.is keeping him a lot in her room so therefore he is totally loyal to her.i have no one to.share my grief because husband and children are not tuned in to that.so I don't even try to talk about my loss because their un emphatic approach would just hurt me more.
Quote 0 0
COOKIES4
SO SORRY FOR WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH. PLEASE KNOW WE ARE ALL HERE PRAYING FOR YOU TO GEY THROUGH THIS. YOU WILL NEED TO HOLD ON TO PRAYERS AND THE SPIRITS OF YOUR BEAUTIFUL BABIESI CRY FOR MY SPARKY AND HE TELLS ME IT IS OK TO CRY. MY HUSBAND HAS LITTLE COMPASSION FOR MY SUFFERING FROM MY LOSS, DO YOU ARE NOT ALONE WITH YNAY. PLEASE WRITE HERE IF YOU ARE NEEDING SUPPORT AND GO INTO THE CHAT ROOM FOR HELP.
HUGS JOAN SPARKY'S MOMMY
Quote 0 0
Nina72
Dear Joan...thank You so much for Your reply.I feel that we are on the same page in this journey of grief and the sad reality is that most people do not want to listen sad things and grieving very long.i have experienced it over and over again. One has to put on a brave face and say life goes on...well in my case I can not be like that.it took me almost 10 years to accept my mom was gone.shd died in June 20th.-2001 after heartvalve surgery was performed too late.Her heart was too enlarged and too weak..although she was only 61.
Pets have always been close to my heart and maybe because my multiple losses in my life people..even my husband and children do not understand me.
I am so happy that I found this online we website.thank you for everyone who have read my story.
Quote 0 0
COOKIES4
HI, NOT YELLING LOW VISION. I ALSO CARRY LOSS AND GRIEF, MY DAD DIED SEVERAL YEARS AGO, HE WENT IN (WAS 63) FOR A QUAD BYPASS AND NEVER WOKE UP AS WITH YOUR MOM, HE WAITED TOO LONG AS HE HID THE PROOF HE NEEDED SURGERY AND WAS TO QUIT SMOKING IN THE CRAWL SPACE OF OUR HOME. MOM PASSED AWAY IN A USING HOME, SHE WAS IN HER 60'S, I HAVE HAD LOSS OF HUMAN FAMILY, BUT FELT MY SPARKY WAS MY CHILD AS YOUR FUR BABY WAS AND WITH ME ALMOST 29 YEARS, DIVORCED AS YOU ARE. I REALIZE HOW BAD IT CAN GET AND SUPPORT AND RESPECT HOW YOU FERL.
I RAISED MYSELF FROM 12 YEARS OLD. JIM IS MY HUSBAND NOW, 18 YEARS, THERE IS LOVE BUT I AM HIS SUPPORT AS HE IS UNWELL AS I AM
.WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR DLEEP, ANXIETY AND NUTRITION.ARE YOU THERE ALONE. EXCUSE ME IF I ASKED THESE QUESTIONS BEFORE.
HUGS KOAN, SPARKYS MOMMY
Quote 0 0
Melissad75
Beenersmom I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story. It helps knowing there are people who are feeling the same as me. I lost my previous beagle Scottie yesterday. He too has been by my side since the day I rescued him 10 years ago. He had be abused and suffered bad separation anxiety. He got better but on the day we moved Outbof state his best dog friend died and that triggered the separation anxiety. am not working so I was able to be with him most of the time. He was my shadow as your dog was with you. I won’t go into to much detail on how he died ( I wrote a post yesterday when I found this forum). I am so glad I found a place where everyone understands what I’m going through. The grief is consuming me, But coming here and reading everyone’s stories helps. I wish I had some advice for you but I just know your in my thoughts.
Quote 0 0
Beenersmom
MeIissa and Nina, I'm so sorry you lost your babies too. It's so heart wrenching. I'm still crying several times a day over my Beener and still talking to him, just wanting to hold and kiss him one more time. The Grief is physically painful. My stomach and heart hurt. I want to scream out at the top of my lungs in grief. I know you're going through it too, I wish I could help you know you're not alone.

I went to my parents all last week. it helped Roxy so much as she exhausted herself watching and chasing the squirrels. As soon as I got home I broke down again, seeing Beeners urn and not hearing him in the house. I hate being home. My cat has not come home yet also, and I am in constant worry if he's dead or Alive. He left the day Beener died, and I had to come to GA so was hoping he would return when I did. He's still not here. I'm trying not to give up hope.

I feel his absence so much, especially in the mornings and bed time. Waking up and going to sleep with that love was so comforting. The emptiness is so painful now. Also when I get in the car to go home after work it hits me. And yesterday going into the pet store. Every day there is constant reminders.
thank y'all for your support and understanding. It helps more than you know.
Quote 0 0
COOKIES4
SORRY YOU ARE STILL VERY SAD, HAVE YOU CHECKED TGE HUMANE SOCIETY OR ANIMAL SHELTER TO SEE IF YOUR CAT IS THERE? CAN YOU MAKE A POSTING WITH HIS/HER PHOTO AT A GROCERY STORE ON THEIR BULLETIN BOARD AND ATTACH YOUR PHONE NUMBER ON TABS AT THE ENDS READY FOR PEOPLE TO PULL OFF THE PHONE #
PRAYERS, JOAN SPARKY'S MOMMY
Quote 0 0