sheila88
Yesterday was agonising. We had to take my beloved little 15 year old chorkie to cross the Bridge. Ive never felt such pain, holding her and looking into her tiny face as she passed. She was so ill. I cant believe i will never see her again. Ive not stopped crying since. We are in the midst of a snowstorm and all i can do is stare out of the window and sob, i try to carry on but im heartbroken. She was such a gallant sweet little soul and i can still feel her.... im crying again now. I just want this pain to stop. I just want my little dog back...


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RileysMom
Sheila88,

I am so very sorry for your loss. I know this is a difficult time and that it especially feels agonizing in the first few days. Please hang in there and know our thoughts are with you. Continue to talk and post here as much as you need to. Sending many hugs your way...
Val
—Loving Riley, Rosy & Axl always 🐾

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sheila88
Thankyou for the kind words. Today is worse im afraid, ive been crying since i woke up, so much that i cant breathe. Im trying to control it, but mixed in are panic attacks. We have another little dog, our westie Emma who is helping as best as she can, but the missing of my little soulmate is more than i can bear. Did anyone else go through this? Im afraid that it will never ease.
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RileysMom
Yes and yes, very much so. You have to know that what you are feeling is very normal. There have been scientific studies showing that human brains release the same bonding hormones and have the same bonding cycle with dogs that mothers have with their babies. You have 15 years of long ingrained habits and brain patterns with her. Losing her, well it can be as if you’ve lost a child. Think about how a person would feel about that... So completely crushed and devastated.

So let the tears come, I understand not wanting to feel out of control with our emotions, but sometimes fighting them and trying to hold them back can cause us to panic more. Allow yourself space for your grief and to fully feel what you need to feel. Sometimes it helps to write it out. Even if you don’t normally consider yourself a writer or someone who journals, doing it through this time can help a lot with coping.

And if that is just really not your thing... If you have a friend you know that will have an understanding ear, or even a pet loss helpline can be of tremendous help. Of course, we’re here too for you and you can talk to us as much as you need to. Just know that you are not alone in this.

It does ease in time. And I think that’s one of the hard parts, working through the time that is needed to make it to the otherside of this. The first few days are the roughest, but you will make it through, just moment by moment, one breath at a time. It will be okay.

I’m very sorry for the tremendous pain you are feeling. Hang in there as best as you can and many hugs to you.
Val
—Loving Riley, Rosy & Axl always 🐾

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sheila88
Thankyou for your kind words. Today my sons came round to visit which helped a little, the day went well, still with the deep ache in my heart.. but it helped. The rest of the evening, again was full, then my husband went up for a bath and i was sat in the living room alone... and the great wave of grief came over me again.i sobbed my heart out. This will lessen with time i know, yourself and others have assured me, and i take comfort in your words. It comes in waves and i feel ok for a while then a memory surfaces and im back to square one.
I am so glad i came to this forum, it has helped more than i can say, i would have been lost otherwise.
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