Maxmine
I lost our Bernese Mt Dog to cancer  a few weeks ago.  He was almost eight and it came on fast.  I knew something was wrong last Dec but vet didn’t find anything until a few days before we had to have him euthanized.  We had it done at home and he had a bad reaction to the drugs.  It was awful and I miss him so much and I cannot forgive myself for how he spent his last minutes with us.  I don’t know how I am supposed to go on without him.  I miss him all the time.
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Buddy_Mama
I’m so sorry for the loss of your Max. And I truly understand how you feel about his final moments. My Buddy’s final moments were awful too, and I’ve spent so much time wanting to go back and do things differently. But we can’t change it, and beating ourselves up over it serves no good purpose.

One thing I try to tell myself (almost daily) is that 99.9% of our babies’ lives were spent in happiness and contentment, living with us, knowing how much they were loved. THAT is what really matters. It may not be easy (or even possible) to do right now, but in the coming days and weeks, please try to remember this - and let the reality of many years of love outweigh the final minutes.

I’m here to tell you that I’ve been in your shoes, and I thought I’d never recover. It has taken many weeks, but very slowly I’m climbing out of this dark hole. You will, too. It helps to post here, share what you’re feeling, accept the understanding & support of so many here who are going through the same thing, and know that you’re not alone. Sending you hugs...
Cindy (Buddy’s mama)
My baby Buddy 5/4/10-3/7/20, rescued March 2011
My sweet Mandy 11/27/91-11/2/10, rescued November 1992
My beautiful Barney 4/28/73-9/7/92, adopted May 1973
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Maxmine
Thank you for your kind words and support.   I am sorry for your loss too.  I knew this would be hard when this time came, but I had no idea how heart wrenching this would be every day.  I am trying to remember that he had a good life but I just miss him so much.  I know that time will help and I appreciate you sharing your own experience with this, it helps to know I am not alone in this.
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kikis_mom_1118
I'm sorry his last moments didn't go as you planned. Before I put my girl down the vet told me that sometimes those things happened but I was blessed that she did not have any reaction. I'm relapsing in my grief. Kiki has been gone for 5 months and now I'm sad again. It comes and it goes. Just know you are not alone.
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Maxmine
Thank you for reaching out. It helps to know others understand what this is like.  I am sorry about Kiki and that you are feeling sad.  Sending warm thoughts to you. 
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