I’m so sorry for the loss of your Max. And I truly understand how you feel about his final moments. My Buddy’s final moments were awful too, and I’ve spent so much time wanting to go back and do things differently. But we can’t change it, and beating ourselves up over it serves no good purpose.
One thing I try to tell myself (almost daily) is that 99.9% of our babies’ lives were spent in happiness and contentment, living with us, knowing how much they were loved. THAT is what really matters. It may not be easy (or even possible) to do right now, but in the coming days and weeks, please try to remember this - and let the reality of many years of love outweigh the final minutes. I’m here to tell you that I’ve been in your shoes, and I thought I’d never recover. It has taken many weeks, but very slowly I’m climbing out of this dark hole. You will, too. It helps to post here, share what you’re feeling, accept the understanding & support of so many here who are going through the same thing, and know that you’re not alone. Sending you hugs...
Cindy (Buddy’s mama)
My baby Buddy 5/4/10-3/7/20, rescued March 2011 My sweet Mandy 11/27/91-11/2/10, rescued November 1992 My beautiful Barney 4/28/73-9/7/92, adopted May 1973