Poodlemom

 
Hello, I am new to the board.  I am currently in the midst of making the decision to put down(kind of hate that term) my 13 year old poodle,Ashely.   I have a 6 year poodle too.   Ashley went blind about 7 months ago and then got pnumonia and then a skin infection.  She recovered from the pneumonia and the skin problem stablized.
Ashley is not doing well again.  Once the weather turned, so did her health.  She is just surviving now and not really living.  Her constant care is really working on my nerves and she is keeping me up at night with her coughing and whining.   I think it's time to put her down.    I've been through this many times before, but I do dread this time.   Yes, all my poodles have been special in their own ways, but Ashley has been with me through some really tough times in my life.   I've tried to play 'hero' with her and keep her going, but it's getting to be too hard and time consuming.  Life must go on... and all my attention paid to Ashley is taking my quality time away with Amber.   So I think it's time...and I will probably do it this week.
At least I didn't loose her last spring when she suddenly went blind and got so sick.  She rallied long enough for me to prepare myself for this.   Going to miss her like crazy...and we don't plan on another one for a while.  Amber will be spoiled more than she already is... but she deserves more of my attention then I have been giving her lately.  I really can't wait for the freedom from caring for a very sickly dog.. and sending her to a better place...not because I don't love her, but because I love her too much to force her to stay.
Does this make sense?     It's time for me to think about myself, my sanity and my one healthy, active, poodle.   Another puppy may come into the picture one day, but I have other things I want to do now... and Amber is ready for any adventure that comes along. 
Sorry this is so long for my first post.. but this is a tough decision.  I've made it 4 times before over the past 25 years with other poodles... but this time it's really working on me.  Just needed to vent I guess.  Thanks for reading. 
Debbie
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judylinn
I totally can understand where you are coming from. Maddie was sick for a long time and took alot of care. I think the best descion, is what is best for Ashley, it doesnt sound like she has any quality of life.
I hate that term for maddie also, thats why I always say I released her from her pain. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers while you make this hard descion. Judy
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tikibarb
You have found a good place where you will find support and understanding.  It is a tough decision and it takes a brave and unselfish person to make it.  I lost my baby Ted on 7/7 to a car so I did not have to make that painful decision.  I have done it in the past though and I agree with Judy that you are releasing them from their pain and offering them a better existence.even though they are not with us.  I truly understand your pain and offer solice and caring thoughts.  Ted was part Poodle so I also understand the special dogs that they are.  So smart and affectionate.  I am convinced that it was the Poodle in Ted that drove our special attachment, so much so, that when I was ready, I adopted a toy Poodle from a rescue shortly after losing Ted.  I wasn't really sure I wanted such a small dog, but he needed a home and I needed some Poodle love.  You and Amber have each other to lean on when the tough times come.  And, you have us as well.  I will pray that you find the strength to let go and do not suffer over making the decision to release Ashley from her discomfort.
Barbara Lyngarkos
My Beloved Ted 8/7/2005 - 7/7/10
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/TED001/Resident.htm
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nicokudo
Poodlemom,

Making that final decision for our babies is not an easy one.  It sounds as though her quality of life has been slipping for awhile; your decision is made based on love.  It's so obvious from your message. I had to make that decision for my Kudo and Nico and I really feel that I gave them a boost on their next journey.  Or as Susie Squillions once said( and I'm paraphrasing here),  "I had to take them to the gates of heaven and knock for them to be let in."

Thinking of you and the difficult decision that you will be making.

Karen



Karen,Kudo and Nico's mom
Earth mom to Marco and Bella
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slotaddict
My Kayla had alot of health problems, all of which she conquered with amazing grace..she needed medication to stay alive because her liver was not good..I asked the vet once, when will I know?? He said you just know when it is time.
I didn;t get the chance to "know" everything happened so fast therre was no time to think, but in your case I think that you know....
It is not an easy decision and I'm sure you will miss your baby..Good luck with whenever you decide to ease her pain and send her to the bridge.
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MagzMom
It's the worst decision and it's the best decision.  I had to make it for my Maggie...can it be 7 months ago already? I can't believe how fast the time passes.  Maggie was 3 weeks shy of her 17th birthday.  I have been through all thought process' possible I think.  Regretting, worrying, beating myself up.  In the end, the pain is some days unbearable, but I take some comfort in my decision.  It was unselfish, it was my last gift to her.  I guess in some form it was for myself too, I couldn't bear losing bits of her each day.  She wouldn't eat, she could hardly stand, she was putting up such a brave face for me, pretending she was ok so I wouldn't be sad.  I held her until she took her last breath, I said everything I needed to, I still talk to her now and add to it.  Part of me keeps saying  to myself...how could I do that to her?  The voice of reason in my head however...says how could I have not?

I am with everyone here in spirit.  I thought maybe I could bring another sweet baby into my life, but work has changed my locations and travel is involved.  I am sometimes gone 12 hours per day and it tortures me that it would be unfair to bring a baby into that.  I am also constricted by the fact I don't have a fence, and the Sheltie rescue won't consider me.  So here I am in limbo, hurting and healing over and over again.  I am grateful to be able to come here to talk with all of you, and read your stories and advice. 

The holidays approach and it will be my first without her, my life is measured in firsts I do without her lately.  I wish you all peace and wonderful holiday seasons.  My thoughts are with all that are hurting, and with those that will hurt in future. 

I am sure you will make the right decision poodlemom, and know that when you do, your Ashley will know you love her.  Be strong.

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