aubrie

About a month ago I found out Mr. Kitty had Lymphoma.

Yes, I'm an adult with a cat named Mr. Kitty, lol. I found Mr. Kitty at a local shelter. He was shy and fearful of everything. His chances of adoption seemed dim so my heart went out to him. I took him home. little did I know, this furball's companionship would complete my life. Our bond grew wildly in those 10 years, he is my soul-animal. 

After his diagnosis, the vet said remission with Chemo would be highly unlikely. Mr. Kitty hates the vet. I knew that wasn't the appropriate course of action for him. I stuck to my guns and decided to keep Mr. Kitty comfortable and happy for as long as I can. 

We drew a line in the sand for his quality of life. If he stops eating, or is constantly hiding, we know it is time. I have already made arrangements for his final moments to be in our home.

Mr. Kitty stopped eating today.

I need to make the call, to schedule his death day. I know it is the right thing to do, for HIM. I'm having the toughest time gathering the courage to follow through on my plans. To make the call. 

How did you do it? 

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Jan_H
I am very sorry for what you are going through. I had to make that difficult call for my beloved Jagger back in June. It was very hard but I knew it had to be done. I knew he was suffering and keeping him longer was selfish. Like you I said that final goodbye at home so he did not have to endure a final trip the vet's office. As you said, you know it is the right thing to do for him, even though it is and will continue to be very painful for you.

You are in my thoughts,

Jan
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pannklaus
I am so very sorry that Mr. Kitty has reached this stage but it is very familiar to me...those were the criteria I had for my cat Lenny in February--when he no longer eats and hides/becomes inactive.  Making the call and going through the process is one of the most difficult things many of us ever do. It is an unselfish act of love for Mr. Kitty to put yourself through the pain, anguish and grief which you will experience so that you can release him from suffering with disease.  Animals are good at hiding illness so when the signs become obvious, it is time to let our precious, beloved babies go.  

Rather than calling it "death day" think in terms of releasing Mr. Kitty from suffering.  Of course, you are choosing the day and it could always wait one more day...but the pain for you will be the same.  While you still have Mr. Kitty with you, love him, tell him everything you want to say, give him anything he likes that he will take, do everything you can for him.  There is nothing about the process that will be easy for you...after the appointment is made there will be the dread of having to go through with it.  I found it comforting to stay with my Lenny at the end, but some people find that they cannot or do not want to be there at the final moments.  Either choice is okay.  Then taking the empty carrier home and having to make decisions about what to do with Mr. Kitty's things is unbearable and you will probably cry until you think there are no more tears left.  And that is just the beginning of the grief cycle which is being experienced by everyone in this forum.

I am describing my experiences with having done this three times for my precious babies. The first time was the hardest in one sense, because I didn't know what to expect.  But it never gets easy.  We make ourselves do it because we love our precious fur babies so much that we are willing to put ourselves through the ordeal to give them relief from their suffering.  The alternative is to make them die a slow, "natural" death which is much worse...for Mr. Kitty and probably for you as well.  So if you love Mr. Kitty and you obviously do, you have no choice but to carry out the decision that you have made in your head and experience the suffering you will go through.  It is the price we pay for love and for all the happiness and joy our beloved fur babies gave us throughout their lives.  There will be people in this group who will understand whatever you are feeling.  We can go through the process with you but we cannot make it easy.  You will be very much in my thoughts in the coming days.
Patsy
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Vicky101
Dear aubrie my baby girl Dani also had lymphoma..like you when she stopped eating I knew it was time. She gave up because she was so tired.. when I did make the appt for her it was still 2 days away and the day before she could barely walk and the morning of she had become too weak to come sit on my lap like she had always enjoyed previously..so I picked her up to love her and reassure her that everything was going to be ok..i am finding some comfort now knowing she is with me in spirit now and she is happy and healthy again.its been one week now since she died. When I think back I feel that I probably should have put my baby to sleep maybe a litter soon because she did suffer some and I was too selfish to see it..
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Vicky101
Aubrie would like to add to my last post..im glad you. Are listening to what Mr kitty is telling you..i hope that I did not come across the wrong way..i put my baby girl through many treatments of sub q fluids and kept her on prednisone for a while because while it did help her eat and drink..it also made her feel bad..and she still lost more weight before she gave up..so I'm just thankful for the time I had with her.especially when she was happy and I am finding some peace now knowing that she isn't in pain anymore
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aubrie
I appreciate all of your responses, more than I can communicate. This will be hard. Your support and confirmation of what i know i must do is truly helping make it a little easier to move forward with.

Tomorrow I'll make the call and follow through with the right decision here. I will miss mr.kitty so much, as I'm sure all of you miss your so very loved pets.

I hope to come back here to update everything. I found it helped to read others stories and experiences. Maybe my experience can do that for someone else.

Again, thank you. This forum has really been helping me
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LittleLost00
I think as animal lovers, the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do is let them go. We recently had our dog of 15 years put to sleep. While I can’t deny my heart broke into 1000 pieces (it still is) and I’m feeling lost - you have to remember they’re no longer in pain. You mentioned you rescued your Mr Kitty from a shelter; take comfort in the fact you’ve given him the best life possible, shown nothing but love, compared to the life he would have experienced in the shelter. The final act of love is putting them out of the pain they’re experiencing. Also you’re arranging for it to be done in his home, so you can make his passing as comfortable as possible for him. My heart goes out to you. Stay strong!
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LauriP92

Awww Mr Kitty was telling you he was tired and it was time to go. They give us signs. So while you made the final decision, he did make it for himself by not eating. I had to do that last week as well and while it ends the suffering for the cat, it starts the suffering for its human. Mr Kitty could not go on like he was and you made him comfortable. He will always be grateful. I pray we can see all our animals when we die-wouldn't that be wonderful? 
Sending you a big hug

Lauri 
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SnowPhoenix77
It's been almost a year since I lost my Katie Purry to lymphoma.  We, like you, had to make the decision when to say goodbye.  Katie called it herself, though, when she stopped eating and started withdrawing.  We only let it go on two days.

I confirmed with the vet and made the appt for the afternoon.  That whole day leading up to it was a mountain of built up tension and grief.  We still had to get through the whole day knowing that she wouldn't be coming back. 

Katie hunkered down in our spare room.  I got her cat bed and a heater to keep her comfortable and checked in on her every once in a while, my heart breaking all the way.  Once, when I went in, I saw that she'd messed herself.  That's when I knew this was the right decision.  She couldn't make it to the litterbox.  I cleaned her up, told her I loved her, and let her go back to relaxing.

About and hour or so before the appointed time, Katie managed to get up and walk to her favorite window perch.  I had to help her up to it, but she decided she wanted to lie there in the sun and look out on her domain one last time.  She knew it was time and still gave us this last gift of seeing her happy, but saying goodbye.  Yeah, that reduced my husband and I to tears.

Her passing was dignified, quiet, and undramatic.  We were with her every step of the way.  All this to say, sometimes they call the shots and we just have to be unselfish enough to let them go with dignity.  Time has healed a lot of the wound, but I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't crying typing this.

I hope Mr. Kitty passes with dignity and that you know he loves you every step of the way.
A-M
---Katie Purry is forever in my heart. 

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aubrie

wanted to update all of the kind people that took the time to share their stories with me... 

I made the call today and Mr. Kitty will be freed from his cancer on Monday. 

Last night was the first night in a few weeks that he stayed with me in our bed (like he always did before he got sick). I think he knew I was upset. Even in his weakened and dying state, he still made the effort to comfort me. I like to think he was telling me, "it will be ok, I will be ok". Our pets are amazing. 

Thanks again for the comforting words and stories. They have all really helped me come to terms with things. 

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