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Jets_mum
Hi Carl, I'm sorry for your loss, I read your posts and they make me cry as I am feeling the same, it's ten days since Jet went and I just can't stand it, I miss him so much.
Like you I want to rant and rave, I get teary seeing other dogs out for their walks wishing it was me.
I have to collect Jet's ashes later so today is going to be a bad one.
I totally understand your pain, I hope our dogs have met over the bridge and are with all the other lovely pets on here, and that they know how much they were loved and adored.
Heartfelt condolences to you.
Bev

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DadnGaia
Hi Bev, thanks hun.

I'll be thinking of you picking up the ashes. We're waiting to be told when to collect Gaias. I'm expecting to have all the tears come back when I do collect them and the first day she's back in the house. Once we manage to get through that I'm kinda thinking it will be a little comforting to know we have them I find this quite surprising if I'm honest. Of course it's not my Gaia or your Jet as we knew them but it is them in some way. I can't quite get my head round it yet, guess I'll know better on the day.

I hope it brings some comfort to you Bev, I really do. I hope it does for me too. I do sometimes wish I was a little tougher and didn't feel so strongly.

The door bell just rang and I'm still finding myself closing the living room door so Gaia doesn't dash out.

That sucks.
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DadnGaia
My Gaias ashes come back to us tomorrow and I'm not sure how I'll feel or handle it. It will be two weeks tomorrow.

Still missing her terribly and still find myself talking to her at home.
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Evie123
Hi Carl. I live across the country from you in the northeast and am leading the exact same life of grief as you are now. A constant aching pain, uncontrollable tears and inconsolable yearning to have my baby Molly back. Gaia is to you as she is to me, the one most devoted to and loved. When I got her ashes yesterday it surprisingly gave me some comfort. To have her home and be able to kiss and touch her physically has helped to fill an empty hole that I was talking to. I hope you find this too, just think of it as all the beauty of your lovely girl, she is with you again. I know the pain is unbearable and every where you go and everything you do or look at at home or elsewhere has a connection to her. This forum is wonderful as everyone is sharing the same ache and cares and understands. X
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DadnGaia
Hiya, yep, all those things.

I am just about to set off to pick the ashes up. Already the idea alone jogs the memories, which has me smiling and teary, one after the other.

It's time to go and get her.

Thanks Jane.
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Evie123
Hope having her home brings you some comfort Carl and don't be afraid to cry! X
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DadnGaia
Having my Gaia's ashes back brings little to no comfort. That little box isn't her. Couldn't contain the life she had or the love she gave. The flat lines of the box do nothing to remind me of the stretched out forever puppy dragging herself on top of me when there was plenty of room on the other sofa. The wood is cold to touch where her body was warm.

But still each night I find myself patting it with a heartfelt "Good girl" when I drag myself off to bed.

Na night, good girl.

Miss you x
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DadnGaia
3 weeks today and it seems like longer.

Still look for you my Gaia. Still miss your noises, your smell and your cuddles.

Still miss my giddy girl x
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jimmy17
Hi Carl, just noticed that you are now at the 3 week stage of this awful time we`re all having.  It will be 12 weeks for us on Sunday, and I really can`t believe its been that long since I held my beautiful little dog, and told him how very much loved he was.   I really think a big part of me died that day we lost him,  he really was our baby as we`ve no kids.  I`ve had dogs all my life, but Jim was that once in a lifetime dog - as I suspect Gaia was to you.   The only consolation is that we had these beautiful little souls in our lives at all, and try to remember all the happy times we shared with them. 
                 Take care, Jackie.
J Taylor
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stellasMOM
Hi Carl, reading your posts and understanding every bit of what you have written. I have no words of solace, or else I would use them on myself. I can only say that I so truly understand and am living your same grief and sense of loss. Gaia was/is your beautiful girl whose soul meshed with yours and when you met, you were joined for a lifetime and beyond. My husband and I said good-bye to Our Beautiful Black Lab Stella 12/28th and my world crashed around me on that morning and I am doing the best that I can to get through each minute, day, week. We have no children and we had barely accepted the untimely death of our Boy Olly in Oct 2014 when Stella began to go down hill and the same time my husband was diagnosed w/Thyroid cancer. My 2 loves both needed me so much. In the end, it appeared that her spleen had ruptured and she was bleeding internally and we had to make a decision right there and then. Your grief over the loss of Gaia and your words of love for her remind us all of the pure, unconditional, and special relationship we have with our beautiful furbabies. To love so deeply comes with a price, but we definitely all know that this love has made us all better humans. Most do not understand and that is why this forum is a safety net for all who need to express their grief and reach out to others who are walking the same walk. My heart aches for you and Gaia, because I would not wish this feeling on any other. I am sure that your Gaia and My Stella and Olly are having fun and free of all the earthly ailments that took them from us, but unfortunately we will still need to move through each day working through our grief. We owe it to our precious babies to continue to live our lives to the fullest and we will all get there one broken step at a time and one day, we will all meet again and oh that moment will be glorious! 

From one broken soul to another, I wish you peace as you move through each minute. Sending you peace and light!

Stella's lucky Mom, Barrie ((hugs))
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Chrissy
So sad to hear your story they are our children and no words can express how we feel when we lose them.  I am one month on from losing my handsome Duke but still feel the pain as if it was yesterday.  If love could have saved them they would still be with us right now. Sending healing thoughts x
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Evie123
Sorry it's not helped Carl, I understand what you mean, of course it's not the same. My mind in its desperation to hold on just tried to think of it as having her back. I cry every day and miss Molly so much and sleep with her blanket every night. X
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DadnGaia
Thank you all for your kind words and if I could take all your hurt away I would. Thank you.

My wife Sarah has been hinting at finding another dog and we've had a few words over this as I am simply not ready, she still doesn't get that properly.

We are dog people but it's just not time for me yet and I'm not rushing in to anything anytime soon. I know a pup would help the kids and Sarah but I don't feel as though I could bond with another dog at all, and have no idea if I ever would.

Miss my Gaia everyday.
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DadnGaia
I keep seeing you out of the corner of my eye Gaia.

It's been a month now.

Still a piece of me is missing.

Na night my giddy girl x
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