Java
Our cat passed away on Oct 5 and I am a basket case. I can't stand to be home and I can't stand to not be home. 

Java was a Siamese and he was about 15 yrs old. He was taken very quickly. I am so heart broken. 
Please help me. How do I get through this?  we have 4 other cats that I can love on but it still hurts me terribly
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Tankie12
Hi Shelly, I’m really sorry about Java’s passing. I know how much it hurts. I understand how upside down it all feels right now. You’re probably wondering if it all really happened. It’s so confusing in the beginning, you can’t stand all the reminders at home but you don’t want to be away. I really feel for you💔.
This was a really good first step. This forum that Ginny created is a God send for us all, we are all at different places of loss but will reach out to each other to offer words of comfort and true empathy. Write as much and whenever you’d like, share your story about your beloved Java. It really helps. Your grief is raw, try to be extra gentle with yourself. Your other babies will need you as you grieve and your emotions are so sharp you’ll need to try to keep your strength up. I lived off protein bars and shakes for awhile.
Most of all Shelly, you’re not alone, hugs,,,,,
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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Java
Gosh it is so hard not to fix 5 food dishes. 4 just does not feel right. I HATE all of this it sucks so bad.
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Sampson
My deepest condolences on the loss of your beloved cat. Your other cats will not replace Java but you should allow them to love you. It will help and you can cry because they will understand and want to be there for you. Don't try to hide your grief. Animals are very perceptive that way and they probably sense what has happened. Wishing you peace,
Sam
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Java
Heard something.... I heard what sounded like someones paw hit the glass food bowl. When I looked in the kitchen there was no one. Could it be....  I can only hope he is here with us.

I just saw a piece of fabric that looked like an ear. I thought he was curled up asleep.
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ClarasHusband
I have been going through this since last monday. It's been very tough. I don't like being home either.
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SnowPhoenix77
Java wrote:
Gosh it is so hard not to fix 5 food dishes. 4 just does not feel right. I HATE all of this it sucks so bad.


I feel this so much.  With my Katie passing a week ago today, I only have my other cat Mac to care for, and nothing feels right.  One cat to feed.  Once cat dish of water to change.  Litterboxes that seem too easy to clean now.  It just all feels surreal.  I went food shopping which includes a trip to the pet store for cat food and treats.  My girls always had different preferences, and to skip Katie's section was so hard.  Mercifully, the normal adoption event there seems to have been cancelled.  I know I'll find another friend one day, but I definitely can't handle it right now, ya know?  It all just blows.
A-M
---Katie Purry is forever in my heart. 

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Java
Why must we endure so much pain. Why can't it go away quickly
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Java
Why must we endure so much pain. Why can't it go away quickly
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Java
Today does not hurt as bad but it seems too soon. It does not feel right. 

I vacuumed today and he would allow you to get about 4 ft from him with it before he would move. When I went into the family room I still thought he was there and to be mindful not to scare him. So weird. I can't bear to vacuum the couch or recliner since it still has his fur on it. We have had our couch for 22 yrs and before now I have wanted to get a new one even though the one we have is still in great shape. Off and on for the past year if we were in a furniture store I would look but never found that perfect one. So now that he is gone I bet I find one right away that I like. But I think we can live with this one for maybe 5 more years. He is the only cat of our 5 cats that would sleep on it. One of the other cats just started within the last 6 months of laying on the arm of the couch but that was it. Not Java he loved laying where ever he could. It was painful to vacuum today knowing I was sweeping up his memories. I have lots of tasks to do today so that should help me out a bit and keep me distracted. I don't normally work on Wed but the wonderful boss told me last week I could come in on Wed since I asked for Friday off when Java passed.  There are still good bosses out there in the world and mine is one of them
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KDoodle
What you said really resonates -- wishing healing would happen but when incrementally I feel better, it feels like a betrayal of sorts. And so many moments just seem off because they were such constant companions. In the morning when I prepare salads for lunch, my Tela would always be waiting for the ends of the radishes, carrots, and cucumbers. She was always my shadow and I don't think I'll ever not miss her, and I guess that's how she'll stay with me.
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Java
Why does it seem painfully hard to go out and do something. Such as going for a walk or a trip to the store. I feel so guilty. I can't imagine what tomorrow will be like when I go back to work. I think I would rather not talk about it. Hopefully the boss did not tell the others why I was out that way I don't have to deal with it.
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