Wallymom
Our dog Wallace threw up all day last Saturday and was still sick Monday so we brought him to the vet and told them that we were worried he ate something (i.e. Our daughters diaper) the vet told us that she didn't think he did because he wasn't bloated or acted like he was in pain but agreed to do the barium X-ray study. They called a few hours later asking if they could do blood work because his lymph nodes were swollen. We agreed and they called back and said that he had pancreatitis and we didn't need to do the X-ray. So we didn't. He stayed at the vets Monday and Tuesday getting fluids, antibiotics and pain meds but Wednesday came and he still wasn't eating. Wally was a super sensitive dog and we all just thought if he came home he would do better. He ate dinner and breakfast but by Thursday afternoon he looked worse so we brought him back. They gave him more fluids and called Friday morning and said they thought he needed an ultrasound and possibly go to the emergency vet. By the time I got there he had coded and was intubated. They told me he was breathing on his own but he wasn't there anymore, he wasn't even fighting the tube. I called my husband to come so we can be together when we let him go. By the time it took for him to get there Wally coded two more times and I told them to stop and just let him go naturally. I asked them to take the tubes out so my husband didn't have to see him like that and we cried together. They did an autopsy and he did swallow a diaper and that's what caused the pancreatitis. I feel awful and I can't stop playing it all over in my head. I'm a nurse why didn't I notice or push for the X-ray? Im worried I didn't shut the door and gave him access to the diapers. I'm worried that I was so stressed about everything else in my life that I put him in the back burner. I never thought in a million years that he would die. I'm devasted that money ever crossed our minds because no amount of money could ever replace him. We had his cremated and are going to do a little family ceremony for him this weekend. I just miss him so much and I cry during the day at odd times. He was 7 years old and the most happy boy you ever met. He had a whip of a tail that was killer when he wagged against your leg. He loved to run, play with balls and sticks. He would eat anything even lettuce and loved our daughter with all his heart. She is only 15 months and I know she won't remember him which breaks my heart even more because he loved her so much. He loved to cuddle, kiss, hug and sleep. He was the best dog anyone could ever have hoped for. He was scared of everything including chairs and thunderstorms. He destroyed everything but would sleep with me during the day since I worked nights and I think I'll miss that the most. I can't imagine that he isn't here anymore and I keep hoping that this was all just a horrible dream. I don't know how to get past this our when the pain will stop or even get slightly better. Any words of advice will be amazing. sorry so long.
Quote 0 0
mybaby1robert
Sorry for your loss.  It was a tragic story.  You will replay it many times in your head.  They are wonderful friends and their loss is huge.  You are young and this moment has taken your heart to an older place.  It is life at its worst.  You will always remember this good boy.  You will get better as you have no choice.  God will hold your boy and someday you will see him again.  Not this day.  Peace to you friend.

Roberts Mom
Quote 0 0
jimmy17
I am so sorry for your loss of Wally, he looked such a smiley and happy boy. What happened was nobodys fault - dogs have such a habit of getting hold of things that they shouldn`t, and we can`t watch them all the time.    We lost our beautiful dog Jim 5 months ago, and while I still have bad days,  I can now look back and appreciate all the great times we shared with him.       When we lose them, we tend to focus on the last awful day/days,  but you gave Wally a wonderful 7 years of love and care, so try to hold onto that. You`ve come to the right place here,  so many lovely people who all understand what you`re going through right now, being here helped me so much during those first dark weeks. 

                                                                 Hugs, Jackie
J Taylor
Quote 0 0
winstonsmom12
Wally  accept my condolences on your loss of Wallace.  What a beautiful boy and a beautiful baby.  Please try to not blame tourself.  Being a new, stressed mom is not easy I know.  You couldn't have possibly have known this would happen.  It is all very new and painful right now for you and your husband.  Time is the only healer.  I wish you both luck.  You have each other to go through this grief together.  Blessings  Sue
Susan
Quote 0 0
CKMP
Wallymom
I am so so sorry for your loss of Wallace.  He looks like such a happy boy and such a proud babysitter!  Do not forget the love and care you gave to him for 7 years - the joyous times he gave to you and you to him.  We are so quick to find fault with ourselves and find ways to blame ourselves when our special friends are unable to continue on with us.  Life gives us so much to deal with at times - and as responsible and caring companions to our fur friends - we always so the best we can do.  I know words like this mean nothing right now - they ring hollow and are tough to accept.  Grief is something that unfortunately everyone here knows too well - and unfortunately none of us have found any magic to make it easier or less tormenting and painful.  Grief is its own entity and takes its own time.  Life will be different without Wallace - and tears will fall.  It will roll in like the waves.  Lean on others.  Don't let guilt in - and come here often - so many kind and caring people with such good insight to share.  Wallace can not be far - he is with you each day, just differently.  What is so loved could never be lost.  
Quote 0 0
JerseyNonna
wallymom, i'm so sorry for your loss of your loved Wallace.  Jackie has a great point above, dogs will want those things we try to keep from them and diapers seem to have just the right amount of mystery and sometimes to dogs just smell divine (of course we heartily disagree on that point for those of us having had dealt with diapers, lol).  of course the fact that we dispose of them so carefully hidden out of sight intrigues dogs even more...gosh do our doggies love the trash cans.  please give yourself the knowledge that it isn't your fault, there was nothing you could have done differently and just sometimes things happen because it's their time to happen.  also know that Wallace's spirit is back home with all of you and once your grief begins to lift a bit you will be able to sense once familiar sounds, smells and even see shadows at his height around the house.  my roxie has shown herself to me in full body physical form where I was even able to feel her fur, rub her ear, hug and kiss her (and got a big wet kiss back) before her energy faded.  our lost love ones across the bridge are always only a breath away from us and as roxie told the pet medium "the other side isn't far, you know, but people always think it is.  so i'm never far and I do know and hear when you are thinking of me or talking to me.  I am a breath away and the areas where I used to lay, where you look, sometimes i'm there looking right back at you.  you will see me again, this separation isn't real and we are forever".  her words for me have brought me so much comfort and I hope you can think of Wallace saying the same exact thing to you, which i'm sure he would in his own way.  we're here for you and I hope this is able to help you even a wee bit hon.  many many hugs and prayers to you.
JerseyNonna
Quote 0 0
Wallymom
Thank you for all the kind words. We are getting a little better each day. I still miss him more than words can say. It's been one week since he has passed. It all just seems so unreal. We are making a stepping stone to place in the garden for him today. We picked up his ashes on Friday and they did his paw print in clay for us which was very thoughtful. Thank you again for all the support.
Quote 0 0
Ell99
Dear wallymum. I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Wallace. I know how devastated you must be feeling. I am glad you have found this forum, everyone here understands the pain you are feeling. Sending big hugs xx elle
Quote 0 0