Hello Everyone;

Our family adopted our sweet boy in 2006.  He died by euthanasia Saturday.  He was 13 and a mini poodle.  We adored him even though we knew that from the start he had lots of mental and personality struggles.  He had territory issues, anxiety, dominance tendencies, separation anxiety.  The list goes on.  We promised him forever and promised him love.  He was part of our family .  He was adorable and comical, sweet and feisty all rolled into one.  We put him in agility training to build his confidence and tried adaptil and prozac to no success.
He started to display signs that he was really mentally declining when we moved 7 years ago.  He started marking in our new house and fighting with our other male dog.  He then , over time, seemed like he was loosing his hearing and sight a bit.  He was starting to slip from his "personality" if that makes any sense .  We tried CBD oil with moderate improvement but our sweet little boy was still slipping away.  He began barking for no reason, jumping from shadows, he didn't like to be held , touched or even close to anyone physically. He began to snarl and bite.  The daycare we took him to refused to have him due to howling and anxiety and risk of bites.  His groomer was hanging on but close to saying no more visits.  He attempted to bite at the vet which he would never do before.  We were devastated.  We feel we had no choice but to say goodbye even though he was still physically strong but mentally lost.  The day we said goodbye we gave him treats like crazy, I cut some fur from his gorgeous ears and we took him for a walk.  It was cloudy and ugly out.  He was given sedation and pain medication and he fought sleep but eventually laid down in our laps and we snuggled him.  He jumped down on the floor and it was heart wrenching to see him struggle as he was so groggy his legs wouldn't hold him up.  We laid him on a mat so he could rest.  He died very quickly when one injection.  We both held him and I cry at the thought that he had been a long time since I was able to cuddle him like that.  He was just to anxious and irritable in life to be held in his final couple of years. 
  When we left the clinic, it was starting to get sunny.  My husband and I holed up at home and sequestered from the world for 2 days.  We cried a lot, laughed and remembered.  I still feel like I am emotionally in that clinic room with him.  I play the scene over and over in my head.  I question our decision and then in the next moment I am mad at us for not doing it sooner.  Why did he have to suffer like that??  What did he do to deserve it?  Where is he now?  Is he frightened and alone where he is?  Does he miss us?? I am worried about our other 2 little dogs.  They are confused and withdrawn and we will watch them closely.
In the next few days we will get Rockies ashes and build him a small memorial.  

Rest well my darling old boy.  We will love you forever and never forget you.  You have been such a huge part of our love story. rockie 039.jpg 

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I’m so sorry about Rockie. 😢 I’m sure he loved y’all as much as you loved him. Some illnesses can’t be seen and it sounds like you did everything you could to help him. Many hugs.....
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I’m sorry for your loss! I can understand Rockie becoming anxious after your move 7 years ago. To a dog, especially one with anxiety, it would be a big adjustment. I am curious about what the vet said when Rockie tried to bite him. Did they offer any kind of medication that might have helped (other than Prozac)? I’m not a vet but it sounds like he was suffering from anxiety. I’m so sorry this happened. It’s very clear how much you loved him and it hurts like crazy to lose your treasured pet!
Hugs to you! CK
I just edited to say what a handsome guy!!
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