I'm so devastated. I lost my Reilly yesterday. My precious British Shorthair, only 10 years old had a brain haemorrhage Sunday and I thought he had a cold but his breathing became more and more difficult and even Prednison didn't help anymore. Yesterday I brought him to the vet because his breathing became so difficult, they would put him in an oxygen cage and take photos later. And then I left so that I could pick him up later.

When they called the vet said she had bad news. I thought she was going to say that they saw something bad on the photos but she said that he had just passed away!

I went over and cuddled with him, he was still warm and I just couldn't believe it.

What they found on the x-rays was a sever pneumonia and his lungs had filled for 75% with fluids in a very short matter of time. There was just nothing they could do. Yet, the oxygen tank made him feel a bit better, so they made a plan to get him better. It was a slim chance but he had one.

But when she wanted to administer his medicine, his heart just stopped. He went on his own terms. I am heartbroken over the fact that I wasn't there. He was my everything for 10 years and I wanted to be there for him but it was so sudden that even the vets couldn't revive him. His heart just stopped instantly. 

He was just recovering from major surgery in December, blather problems... he was doing well. 

This is my letter to him.
Dear Reilly,

I honestly don't know how to live without you. You are the only one I have ever loved with every fiber in my body, and I know that you loved me that much too. You knew the real me, all my secrets and you still loved me so much. Not having you around is an emptiness no one can ever fill. You were so unique. Not even a cat to me, but my child, my best friend, my buddy. You comforted me when I was sad, when I was sick and your undying love for me has made me a better person. 

We went through so much when you became ill in November and I was so happy that you recovered from this. Your hairs started to grow back on your tummy and you were doing well. And then last Sunday night when you had the TIA, it was so sudden and horrible and when your breathing become so difficult I felt it was a bad sign but always had in my mind that we would have some more years together. 

I miss you so much, it physically hurts. I heard about the Rainbow Bridge and it comforts me. Or maybe Henk is taking care of you now, and will you both wait for me when it's my time? I can't wait to see you again, until then I will suffer without you, living this emptiness that I can't even describe how devastating it is. 

I love you so much, you are my everything. Luckily I have told you this many times and I hope you felt my undying love for you. At this point I really don't feel like going on without you. You were the reason I survived so many things. You made me strong and brave. I know I will have to go on, but I just want to assure you that I will do you right. I will make you proud and when we see each other again, will be pure joy and bliss.

My baby I will love you forever.

I'm sorry for any spelling mistakes, I'm Dutch so English is not my native language.
Reilly, I will love you forever. I will see you at the Rainbow Bridge.
Quote 0 0
You letter to Reilly is beautiful. It is obvious that you love him very much and I know without a doubt that he loves you.

I was listening to someone who works with animals do a radio show about animals crossing over when it is their time. She said, "When an animal and their human have a very strong bond, sometimes it makes it difficult for the animal to leave their body when their bond is nearby. Sometimes, it takes several days for the energy level of that connection to lessen so passing can occur." She went on to say that animals don't feel the same way about death as we humans do. They know that death is part of life, like being born and when they cross over....they are simply "going home". In your case with Reilly, you both had a very strong bond and maybe he knew it was time and found it easier to leave his body when you both were apart.

She also said that many times, our babies are here to help us through a time in our lives. They provide unconditional love while they are doing their work with us to make us better humans.

I understand how you feel about Reilly. I felt the same way about my Chipper. He wasn't "just a dog", he was my best constant in strength.....and companion. We were together through my single life, dating, marriage and 4 kids. We had many ups and downs....much like you and Reilly and I still miss him like crazy! But I am a better person because he was in my life. I will continue my work here until it is my time and then he will be the first one I look for in heaven.

Many of us here at RB have been through what you are going through now. Allow yourself to grieve....cry, scream, do whatever you need to do when the feelings arise. As each day passes, healing begins to occur, even when you don't think it is. You will always miss Reilly, but the tears and grieving will not last.....on your love for each other.

Please know that we understand and are here for you during this time.
Chipper's Mom

Momma's Chipper Boy (9/19/95 - 1/30/11) My heart, my love, my buddy! I miss you and love you so, so much! I can't wait to see you at the bridge! Love, Mommy

Lady "Ladybugs" (8/2/03 - 6/5/17) My sweet girl. Thanks for the walks, playtime, sock collection, boo boo kisses and love you gave all of us. We will miss you dearly! Until we meet again...we love you!
Quote 0 0
I am so sorry for your loss of Reily. The pain in the beginning is so powerful. My heart goes out to you. I wish I had some amazing bit of info that would bring you peace. Coming here and writing has been my sanity and I hope it helps you as well. The pain eases with time but we will never "get over it". We just learn to go on with out them. We will be here listening as you take your journey.                            Patty
Quote 0 0
Thank you, indeed I find writing here brings some level of sanity because this pain is more powerful than the pain I've felt for some human people passing in the past. I didn't live with them, and they loved me but not unconditionally. I know this might sound crazy to some people, but I'm just being honest here. I had less pain from my divorce than from Reilly's passing. As a matter of fact, thanks to Reilly I came through that. 

What really helps me is the sentence about having such a strong bond that Reilly needed to be away from me to be able to go to the bridge.

I am a better person because of him too. My primal self just screams that I don't care, I just want my baby back. I just want him back. 

Coming home to this empty house is making me want to fly up to the walls. I just don't know what to do with myself. 
Reilly, I will love you forever. I will see you at the Rainbow Bridge.
Quote 0 0

Some times our fur-childs know better of their needs than we do.   It was his time to go.   You don't have to come home to an empty house for there are so many out there that need your love.   Reilly was Reilly and he was your baby never to be re-placed.  Rielly and you had good times, right?   You had an beginning and then there was the end and that shouldn't over-ride all the good times.  You can get another that won't take his place but might help you and another pup.  Love Is so strong.   To love Is to open your heart to another someday. I'M sorry that you lost Reilly. I know how devastating that can be. I've lost several thu the past years.    Reilly was one-of-an-kind.  I'm always here If you want to talk .  marty

Quote 0 0
Reilly....I am so sorry for your loss. your letter to Reilly was soooo beautiful. I felt that exact kind of love from my Maddie, and for her.
I believe that Maddie was my little soul mate. Send Reilly you r love, I believe he can still feel it, especially when they first pass and for awhile to come. I still believe that Maddie feels my love and I recieve hers.
I didn't think I could survive her loss, but time does help. It will you too, but just let the grief out the way it comes. we will be here for you through it. Judy
Quote 0 0

I just lost my 18 1/2 year old cat on Saturday.  She had a tumor on her cheek that was very aggressive.  Our vet was amazing, but ultimately we lost our baby. I can totally relate to your pain, as thaat is all I feel now.  Chrissy was my world and my heart hurts so bad. I had her, her whole life.  I am so lost.  I still have my alarms set for her Med times.  We had her cremated and put in a beautiful urn and she sits on our stand in the living room.  Having to decide to have her euthinized and then handing her over to the vet was horriable.  She wanted to eat, but couldn't .  It hurt to much.  She lost so much weight and her kidneys were failing.  I know it was for the best, as she was starting to suffer, but regardless........its devestating.  The pain is so overwhelming, I feel like I am drowning and I can't come back to the top. She was our kid, our world revolved around her.  I am so sorry for your loss. 

Quote 0 0
Reilly, so sorry for your loss. My Ayesha went to the Bridge last month. I feel like there's a giant hole inside me.
Please allow yourself to grieve; the tears will come and are part of the healing. Your furbuddy was very special and was your kitty soulmate.
Our furry ones are very wise and know a great deal. They are teachers, guides, healers. And we are enriched by their presence and love.

"A performing artist she; she purred with the mastery of an accomplished musician."
Quote 0 0