bswims
I lost my long hair female mini doxie about a yr ago. I knew the time was coming. I had decided to wait til after the holidays. One morn I got up and held her for a long time and just cried and cried. I knew she had had a great life and for sure had made my life so much better. I called the vet and they were wonderful. I had to go alone and I had to b with her even tho this nearly killed me too. She had been such a great companion I couldn't let her go alone. They took us in a room that was serene and quiet. She never made any attempt to fight this. I think she knew. I held her on the table and it only took a few seconds. I thought my heart had been ripped out and still do! I brought her back to our farm where on a cold night in Jan. we buried her along w her toys and blanket etc. I think I was in a deep  depression for mts. I still miss her so much. I have never had such a good friend ever and never will again.
It hurts still.
There is more to this story but I am crying so hard I can't see.
I will never get over loosing my Pickles.
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AliceM
bswims, I am so sorry about your losing Pickles.  She is such a cutie and I know her absence has left a huge void in your life.  It's never easy.  I lost a little male schnauzer 9 years ago and I still can't talk about him without shedding tears.  I lost my Cali 15 days ago.  I am finding I have days when I think I'm doing really good then some thought of Cali will come to mind and I'll find myself back where I was 15 days ago.  I don't believe we ever get over losing our babies but hopefully, there will come a time when we can remember them and smile.  I hope your pain lessens with more time.  You will be in my thoughts.
AliceM
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bswims
Thank you Alice. I have really had no one to talk to about it. The time has helped some but like you I find myself just all of a sudden thinking about her and remembering. I was so lucky to have had her tho. She was a wonderful dog. So many on this forum feeling the same from loosing a pet. The pain in incredible.
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AliceM
The pain is incredible and seems like it will never end. My husband loved Cali too but it is like he grieved for a day then life returned to normal for him. I work with 2 people who grew up on farms where the loss of animals was common and I don't think they understand the attachment a lot of people feel for their animals. I don't think I could have made it the first few days without the people on this forum. There is so much pain on this forum and I have tried to stay away thinking its keeping my own pain fresh and in front of me but I have not been able to do that. Something keeps drawing me back. Hang in there..they say time will heal the pain.
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Liz_Potter
I feel the same, Alice. I only lost my Potter on Monday & the pain is indescribable, I thought I would go crazy. I have found this forum & others like it invaluable. Just to know that someone else feels that same intense pain is somehow strangely comforting. I wouldn't wish this traumatic experience on anybody but to know that your own feelings are not unusual & that you are not alone is a lifeline. I am so sorry for you both. xxx
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AliceM
Liz, I am so sorry for your loss of Potter and I so agree that the pain is indescribable  I was so confused when I first lost Cali because on top of the grief and the pain, I was also so angry...angry at the vet because she was a day too late for my baby to bounce back from the surgery, I was angry at my husband because he seemed to be able to put his sadness and grief aside so quickly, and mostly angry at myself for not knowing my Cali was as sick as she was.  In addition to this forum, finding sites on the stages of grief helped a lot also.  It made me realize anger is a big part of the process.  The passing of our cherished animals leaves us with such a sadness that seems to drown us.  I hope your heart begins to heal soon, Liz,
Alice
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