I am having such a hard time right now. My Boston Terrier was 15 years old: doing ok a month ago. Then very quickly she went down hill with Congestive Heart Failure. So, Thursday September 12th, I had her put down . Two years ago, my Husband if 39 years died and Marilyn was my life line. Since the day we got her, she slep in our bed, curled up against my side. She needed to touch me at all times during the night and never let me get out of her sight during the day. She would follow me room to room . I made arrangements for cremation, etc., but they haven’t picked her up yet . Knowing she is right up the road is making it worse. I want to go see her just one more time. She passed, on my lap, while giving me kisses the entire time. The house is SO quiet now. I don’t know how I can bear this grief. I cry several times a day, can’t eat and have such a sick feeling in my stomach. I am a real mess: though my Daughter and family live about 100 steps from my house and come down constantly: I almost don’t want to see them or anyone else: can’t cry then . I wish I could hear her toe nails clicking on my hardwood floors again . I miss her so much.
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Mismaloya, i am so sorry for your loss of Marilyn and your husband. I truly understand she was your lifeline. I too lost my husband of 29 years ( he was only 52) in 2009 and last Thursday i had to put my 19 year old kitty to sleep.
I cried 3 days non stop and couldn't eat either. Let those tears flow even if your family and friends are there. I am sure they will understand that you have to go through your greiving pricess. If you try to hold it in then it only makes the greiving process longer.
It's been 9 days for me now and I am still very very sad. I can't concentrate. Left my wallet at the store yesterday but luckily a honest person turned it in.
Please keep sharing your feelings here and everywhere. What I try to do is focus on the good memories now. When I did that, i got a sign from him with a white feather. Our furbabies want us to be happy. There are alot of caring people here to help you and you will help them as well. Big hugs to you. X
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Oh my dear Sandi,
My deepest condolences on the loss of your beautiful Marilyn. Everything you’ve described from just wanting to be alone, so you can cry, to missing her nails clicking on the floor brings me right back to when my dog, Sunshine died. Sadly, I understand what you are going through only too well. I thought the pain was going to swallow me whole sometimes. And to think she got you through the awful death of your husband! What a precious soul she truly was! This is a wonderful place to share your awful pain. Everyone understands. I hope you share more about the lovely Marilyn!
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  I am so sorry for your recent loss. You did the right thing by coming to this forum to share. We're all in this together as our pain about losing a family member is very fresh. Please come here often and get your feelings out into the open. We're here for you. 

Jim Miller
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Thank you Jim and Sharon. I managed to get thru the day ok. It is the early morning and at night, that is so difficult. I moved her things to the basement today, so I wouldn’t see it all the time. I still do not think my brain has accepted that she is gone. I want this pain inside to end.
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