ljrjr
Hello, I came across this forum to see if others felt the way I do and that Im not crazy for feeling this way...I have just lost my sweet little boy Toby this past Thursday night..Ive had him for 12 years and loved him so very much, he was the light of my life, I just could not wait to get home to see him and have him jump all over in joy to see me....Words cant express how much he meant to me..last year this time he had grown a tumor on his back and we took him to the vet to have it removed, he was fine until a short time ago when the tumor appeared again,one year later.on monday the vet said it was a mast cell tumor and that he had cancer and I should put him down. I cryed all the way home and prayed there was another way to save him..he was eating fine and drinking water up until Wednesday then he stopped eating and was having trouble standing up so, after crying all night I had made the heart wrenching decision to put him down I could not see him suffer any longer so I made an appointment to see the vet on Friday...Thursday night was the most horrible night in my life he took a sudden turn for the worse,I sat up with him and pet him and told him how much I loved him till he passed away...I cannot accurately describe how empty I feel and I cannot stop crying knowing that he had to go that way and that I should have maybe went a day earlier to the vet...I loved him so much and I am torn apart inside. It took a lot to be able to write this because I cannot stop crying.. I keep looking in the places where he sat and hes not there.. he followed me everywhere I went in the house and not to hear his little feet coming up or down the steps anymore is tearing me apart..
I don't know how to go on without him my life is empty now without Toby.... wan 20151102_195751.jpg
Louis j rosmini jr
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KandB
Hi,
You are NOT crazy. Love is love, regardless of who or what a person loves. If there is love, it's going to hurt. No matter what. I am sorry about the loss of Toby. He looks like a sweet little guy. If he is anything like mine, there's a streak of jerk in there too!!
Again, I'm sorry about the loss of your cute baby. 
K..
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ljrjr
Thank you very much for your kind reply...yes he was the sweetest and the most gentle little guy and everyone loved him...he will be so very sadly missed and he took a piece of me with him...
Louis j rosmini jr
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Paulcougar1964
Hello ljr,

I am so sorry about the grief you are experiencing over the loss of your beloved Toby. I don't think there's anything so gut-wrenching as the loss of a beloved innocent creature, especially a little one like Toby who probably always seemed like a baby to you. There are so many people in this site grieving like you, who will now grieve with you.

I doubt anyone can say anything to you that will make you feel better anytime soon. I can offer a few things that have helped me through my grief journey: a) try to take care of yourself - eat and sleep well, and exercise/walk daily if you can b) let it out - cry, pound the steering wheel, curse God and the devil both c) find a friend or loved one who is non-judgemenal, who you can talk to about your pain, and tell them that you just need them to listen, and not to say anything to try to make you feel better d) share with people on this site what you learn as you progress through your grief, and eventually reach out to others who are suffering as you are.

Please reach out to us in the days and weeks ahead, and let us know how you're doing. I am so sorry for what you're going through - Toby is a beautiful little soul, and it's obvious your love for him is immense.
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ljrjr
Thank you so much for your caring...A few things I have already done but I will do my best to try everything else you have said ,...God Bless... 
Louis j rosmini jr
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Breeayne
I understand your pain. I just had to put my girl down on Saturday. She was like a child to me and I haven’t stopped crying for days. Everyone here has been so supportive. It’s good to have a place to express these deep emotions. We have to believe that there’s a better place for our precious ones. Your Toby is looking over you. He is with you and will forever be in your heart. Take care of yourself
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carmens_mom
Above all else, please remember the pain and grief you feel is real!  You had a precious friend in Toby and what our hearts remember best is what we have loved best.  I remember being a total wreck after my Carmen passed 9 years ago and I think I've just now progressed to being a semi-total wreck.  We have so many questions - what if I had done this, what if I had recognized something sooner, what if I had given her a healthier diet - my list went on ad nauseum.  But what I really wanted to know was why?  How could this happen - how could this precious soul be taken away from this earth.  And there is no answer to that question.  So we go on, handling our grief in the best way we can.  My salvation is knowing that she is waiting for me, playing, happy, healthy, dancing her happy dance with all the precious souls who have passed since - and that she is not alone o gone, she is waiting for me to find her on Rainbow Bridge.  My sincerest sympathies for your loss.
My warmest regards,  Carmen's and Gigi's mom - alicia
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ljrjr
Thank you Breeayne ,I am so sorry for your loss and I feel your pain, I know it may sound difficult to do now and it helps just a bit, but, I myself am trying to think only about all the wonderful times we had together and that he suffers no longer...God Bless...
Louis j rosmini jr
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