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CazeeKaz

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Posts: 41
Reply with quote  #16 
Well my daughter and mom seem to be doing way better than I am but that is ok because they live together and do things to be mother daughter so I don’t interfere. My daughter told me the other day to try and not think about it because it brings on feelings of sadness, etc. but she is only 8 so one would think her age group can get over it sooner. But I can tell she is sad.

I just want my little boy back

Thanks for asking SC
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SCrane

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Posts: 48
Reply with quote  #17 
I totally understand wanting them back. Kids are so resilient. I’ve taken some steps that have given some relief, I had all the photos on my phone and computer printed out and will frame my favorites, I’m also going to write Lenny a letter when I have the calmness to do it, then I’m going to put that letter in the tin with her ashes. Positive thoughts to you today.
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SCrane

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Reply with quote  #18 
Went and got a tattoo for Lenny. This is just the outline. I think we might shade it in eventually but I’m not sure yet. I miss my little baby but she’s always with me, in spirit, and now in ink.

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jpeg B2CC49ED-B378-4A37-A38E-D701B4607DD5.jpeg (210.84 KB, 2 views)

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SCrane

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Reply with quote  #19 
Miss you every day little boo. Zoe and Leo miss you too.
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SCrane

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Reply with quote  #20 
Lenny, your mother has found a new spot to sleep and hang out, next to your ashes. 💔

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SCrane

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Reply with quote  #21 
This morning was especially hard. I’ve been sick and in bed for nearly a week. Having crazy dreams. You were in one last night though I can’t remember the details. I swore at one point in the night that I heard paw steps on the desk. Leo was next to me and Zoe was on the bookshelf by your ashes. You were the only one who ever walked across the desk, you even used to lay on it, it was your spot. I think you may have been here for a brief moment. I miss you so much Lenny.
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pannklaus

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Reply with quote  #22 
We lost our Lenny cat on 2/19.  He was also 16 years old.  We are experiencing the same emotions as you.  On the memorial page, there are already four Lenny's so there seem to be a lot of Lenny's at the Rainbow Bridge.

Our Lenny had been sick a lot over several years and was on medication but always recovered--until the last time when he didn't.  He declined very quickly and stopped eating and drinking and just stayed in his bed.  When we took him to the vet, we hoped the vet would have a cure but we knew what was likely.  Our longtime vet helped us make the decision to let Lenny go since that was what was best for him.  We were with him as he died peacefully and was no longer suffering.  

We still don't have Lenny's ashes back.   The vet will call us when they get them from the people who handle that.   We have his paw print but that is all. 

I am in my seventies and have lost a number of pets in my lifetime.  It is always hard and doesn't get any easier as I get older.  In fact it is harder, since I am disabled and homebound now and Lenny was with us so much of the time. 

I hope our two Lenny's find each other at the Rainbow Bridge.

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squeaksmom

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Reply with quote  #23 
don’t feel guilty. you gave lenny a great life. And no cat owner can be expected to never travel or go out for the entire duration of it’s life. it sounds like you made sure she was well watched over while she was gone. it sounds like you loved her and took care of her tremendously and i’m sure she knew it. it is so hard not to feel guilty. i lost my best friend, squeaky less than 48 hours ago. she was an amazing beautiful sassy calico lady cat who i found discarded in the trash almost 14 years ago. she was loved spoiled and obsessed over. she was getting really skinny and frail but it happened so gradually and i was in so much denial i didn’t take her to the vet until the day before she died. i had taken her for a check up about 6 months before though. i saw that she was breathing really heavily. the vet gave her an asthma injection and told me if this didn’t work it was very serious. it didn’t. they took xrays she was critical. i took her to another vet for a 2nd opinion and was told she needed to be euthanized. i then took her to a hospital and she died within a minute of walking inthe door. all 3 vets told me it was likely a progressive illness eithef cancer or heart disease and it was her time. i am agonizing over the guilt i feel that i should have taken her to the vet sooner or let her die at home. her last few hours were spent in my car or at a vet. the places she hated the most. the last thing i did was shove her in a cat carrier. i wanted to save her. and i was able to stroke her head in the carrier but i feel awful that i tortured her as she was dying. when we get them we know they don’t live long. i had always thought her death would be perfect and peaceful and she would die in my arms quietly. she suffered. my only relief is that it was just the last few hours and i have confirmation of how sick she was and i was nearby. you may have not been there but your cat got to die at home where it felt safe. death is never perfect or pretty. take joy in all the wonderful times you had with your friend. she knew you loved her. take care
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SCrane

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Posts: 48
Reply with quote  #24 
Pannklaus, I hope our Lenny’s are good friends up on the Rainbow Bridge! This is the first time I’ve lost a pet that was mine, I had her nearly my entire adult life. It’s harder than I ever expected it to be. I did feel some comfort getting her ashes back almost like she was home again. How are you doing?

Squeaksmom, thank you, I really needed to hear that. I’m so sorry for your loss. You were doing the best you could and I’m sure Sqeaks new that. Are you feeling any better?
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pannklaus

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Reply with quote  #25 
Like most people here it is up and down for us. Lenny's ashes are back now. He will be buried in our rose garden this spring with his "brother".  My daughter has held the other cat's ashes to be buried with Lenny when they can be together again.  

I hope that all the Lenny's at Rainbow Bridge are finding each other and becoming friends. Patsy

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SCrane

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Reply with quote  #26 
I love that both cats ashes will be in a rose garden, that’s beautiful.

Today is 2 months since my Lenny died. I have been wanting to write her a letter to put in the canister with her ashes but every time I sit down to write it I am overcome with emotion. It’s so crazy how much I miss her.
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pannklaus

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Reply with quote  #27 
I understand how much you miss your Lenny since I also miss my Lenny very much. When the mood is right and your grief isn't so strong you will probably write your Lenny. I think that is a very nice idea. I may do the same thing later when we bury the two brothers in the rose garden.
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JanaJ

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Reply with quote  #28 
Quote:
Originally Posted by SCrane
Went and got a tattoo for Lenny. This is just the outline. I think we might shade it in eventually but I’m not sure yet. I miss my little baby but she’s always with me, in spirit, and now in ink.

I LOVE THIS TATTOO!!! Oh how I’m crying my eyes out for you right now! I’m so sorry! ❤️
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pannklaus

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Reply with quote  #29 
That is one more way to keep your Lenny close to you. But nothing stops the grief and the desire to have them back with us.
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SCrane

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Reply with quote  #30 
JanaJ thanks! My tattoo guy is pretty awesome. And Pannklaus you’re absolutely right that nothing stops us from wanting them back. I miss her every day, sometimes I still can’t believe she’s gone. Gotta find comfort where we can. Hope you’re holding up as well as you can.
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