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FClaire

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Posts: 147
Reply with quote  #46 
Know exactly how you feel, five weeks ago today we lost Ollie, seems longer. I've cried every single day, still cannot process it all. The pain is still so strong, it just seems it gets harder and harder 😢😢😢
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Olliexxx

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Reply with quote  #47 
So so sorry for all your losses..
My cat Ollie passed on 3 days ago and im soo sad..he was my furbaby..my love of my life..my shadow..i feel totally lost..😭
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Bdoggie

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Reply with quote  #48 
FClaire,  Olliexxx,  I wish I had words to help, but all I can say is that it will get better. Or so they say. I must say that while the grief and sadness are still there and very strong, it's not that soul tearing pain that I felt the days after. While it's still sad, I can focus on the good memories and find comfort that Mitsie's in a better place and I will see her again.
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FClaire

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Reply with quote  #49 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bdoggie
FClaire,  Olliexxx,  I wish I had words to help, but all I can say is that it will get better. Or so they say. I must say that while the grief and sadness are still there and very strong, it's not that soul tearing pain that I felt the days after. While it's still sad, I can focus on the good memories and find comfort that Mitsie's in a better place and I will see her again.
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FClaire

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Reply with quote  #50 
Bdoggie, That's lovely to hear that you have now found some comfort in remembering the good memories of Mitsie. This is the part I can't get to. I try but all I can focus on at this moment in time is Ollie's last hours. I don't want to but cannot stop it. Whether its because I still can't believe what's happened, even after five weeks. I just desperately miss him so much 😢
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Bdoggie

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Posts: 47
Reply with quote  #51 
FClaire, thank you for your kind words. I wish I could offer you something that would help. When I start to go to a bad place, I try to think of Mitsie's love or do something else to distract me. Reading everyone stories and offering comfort, helps keep my mind occupied and also honors Mitsie's memory, by sharing her story and her love. I know, easier said than done. My heart goes out to you and everyone else suffering on this board.

My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
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Bdoggie

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Reply with quote  #52 
Today seemed like a two steps back day. Just a miserable day. One foot in front of the other kind of day. :(
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Bdoggie

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Reply with quote  #53 
Yesterday, I went out on the back porch for something. I hadn't been out back since we lost Mitsie. We have a fenced in back yard, where we took her to potty. There's a small porch with three steps. When we would open the door, she would tear out like she was shot out of a cannon and she wouldn't touch a step. Just a big leap through the air. She would race down through the yard looking for bunnies to chase. She never caught any, but that never stopped her from chasing after them. When she was done, Mitsie would make a big loop around the yard at full tilt and shoot up the steps and in the house. She was good like that. She listened real good. She didn't like to wait. If some one wasn't there to open the door, she would scratch and let us know she was ready to come in.

Yesterday, I went out on the back porch for something and wept like a baby. I miss my Mitsie girl. I miss that scratch on the back door.......:(
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Jasmines_Mom

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Reply with quote  #54 
Bdoggie,

It's so hard because there is a hole where they used to be and we feel that pain so intensely.  It is 3 weeks today since I lost my baby Jasmine and I am still bawling my eyes out multiple times a day.  I miss Jasmine so desperately that I can't even really put it into words.  

They say it will get easier and I guess at some point the grief will lose it's sharp edges but we will always miss them.  I know it hurts but hold on to those happy memories and cry as much as you need to.

__________________
I miss you every minute of every day, my sweet baby Jasmine.
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Bdoggie

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Posts: 47
Reply with quote  #55 
Jasmines_Mom, thank you for sharing  your thoughts. Tomorrow is 3 weeks since Mitsie left my life. My heart breaks for you and your loss.
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Bdoggie

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Posts: 47
Reply with quote  #56 
Yesterday was 3 weeks since we lost our Mitsie.  I had a dream that she came back and was alive, healthy and happy to see us. When I awoke and realized it was a dream, I was crushed. I wept and wept. Having a rough weekend.
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JCat

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Reply with quote  #57 
Bdoggie -so sorry. I too had a dream of my dog Ziva a few weeks after she was gone.  I was suddenly on a bench with her in some unrecognizable city, and I was in awe that she was by my side. All I thought of was when I get her back home, will  she have those same symptoms from her disease again. I tried to hail a cab, but it became increasingly difficult as vehicles appeared less in focus, kind of foggy or cloudy, until I woke up. It was like she was trying to tell me she can't come home.

Just like you, I woke up and cried immensely. It's now about 4 1/2 months, and I haven't had any dreams of her since that night. As for crying, that's another story - it's been a daily thing. It's like your brain pushes those final days away, and yet you reel it in and go right down that rabbit hole.
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Bdoggie

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Reply with quote  #58 
Thank you JCat. Going down the rabbit hole is an accurate way to put it
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Sayuri

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Posts: 58
Reply with quote  #59 
So sorry for all your pain. I haven't had a dream where I clearly see Sayuri, I see some of my other dogs, and one lays down and I think it's Sayuri, I get closer and feel sad in my dream that is not. I feel like my dog died bc people at the hospital didn't know how to care for a scared, semi feral dog that 99% sure had a heart attack. I hope I have a dream where I can see her clearly.
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Bdoggie

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Reply with quote  #60 
Thank you Sayuri.  The vet told me he thought Mitsie had a reaction to the meds they gave her. If I did things different, there was no way to say the outcome would have been different. Sometimes when you try to fix one thing, something else goes wrong. At this point, it doesn't really make any difference. I've had many furbabies over the course of my 63 years and more than one passed at the emergency Vets. We take them there because, they are very ill to start with. In your case I really don't know, if the vet dropped the ball. I didn't really want to leave my Mitsie at the emergency hospital, but my family vet told me she was at the best place to be....I believe if it's their time, the Good Lord will call them home. And when it's my time, the Lord will call me home too. It's the grief and sadness we need to deal with.

I hope you find peace,
Bill
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