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Mysweetsimba

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Reply with quote  #16 
Today is three weeks. I just got a text saying he is due for his 6month check up.
Breaks my heart. And it's so unfair we have to go through this in life.
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Bdoggie

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Reply with quote  #17 
Thanks to everyone for their kind words of support and understanding. For the last 30 years, I've always had at least one, sometimes two furbabies in the house. And when one would pass, it would be so very painful. But there was always be a little angel, who would still need our love and care. Our house is now empty and that is terrible feeling. I don't know how to cope with it right now.

So unfair to Mitsie's memory. She was truly an angel.
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FClaire

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Posts: 147
Reply with quote  #18 
How do we carry on? My thoughts are so deep today,I'm really struggling, and I appreciate we all are. I just can't see a way forward without Ollie. Its four weeks ago this evening he suddenly took poorly and four weeks ago tomorrow we lost him. I have family around me, but I feel so empty. Life is just not the same anymore without my Ollie 😢 I am debating whether to see a councilor or do I steer through it? I know it's early days, but I just can't see it getting easier. I know everyone says it does, but at this moment it feels so impossible. So sorry and my love and thoughts to everyone who is hurting right now xxx
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Memories_of_Marmalade

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Reply with quote  #19 


We must all continue to chop at the "Tree of Grief."

Every single day can = a chop.

Sometimes it is just a whittle.

Sometimes we need a break and stop chopping.

And then some days we can swing many chops.

But that Tree of Grief is going to eventually fall, and we WILL recover.

Chop, chop, chop, chop, chop.

Keep chopping.

The better we take care of ourselves, the more gentle, understanding and forgiving we are with ourselves, the better we can chop down that Tree. Know this.

XO,
James


Chopping Photo.jpg 

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FClaire

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Posts: 147
Reply with quote  #20 
James thankyou once again for your support. Your words are always so comforting even when you are grieving yourself. You are so supportive, its truly appreciated. And I will try like everyone else to keep chopping at that tree xxx
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Jasmines_Mom

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Reply with quote  #21 
FClaire,

You mentioned you are thinking of seeing a counselor.  Can I ask what is making you hesitate?  I'm going to try to find a good counselor in my area.  I don't think time alone is enough to heal all wounds and sometimes it helps to work through things with a counselor or therapist.  If you're considering it I would say give it a try.  I know there is nothing magical about it and it won't suddenly dissolve the grief but I'm hopeful that it can help me to talk about things face to face with someone who will not judge me.  People grieve in different ways and I know my family personally does not know how to be there for me in my grief.  

Either way, just know you are not alone.  I lost my baby Jasmine 9 days ago today.  She was my soulmate and I struggle to find the words to express the intensity of my pain and sadness.  I don't know how to go on without her.  It hurts to breathe.

I don't know how we carry on without them but there are others here who prove it can be done.  I'm struggling with you.  Every minute is a struggle.



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I miss you every minute of every day, my sweet baby Jasmine.
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FClaire

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Reply with quote  #22 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jasmines_Mom
FClaire,

You mentioned you are thinking of seeing a counselor.  Can I ask what is making you hesitate?  I'm going to try to find a good counselor in my area.  I don't think time alone is enough to heal all wounds and sometimes it helps to work through things with a counselor or therapist.  If you're considering it I would say give it a try.  I know there is nothing magical about it and it won't suddenly dissolve the grief but I'm hopeful that it can help me to talk about things face to face with someone who will not judge me.  People grieve in different ways and I know my family personally does not know how to be there for me in my grief.  

Either way, just know you are not alone.  I lost my baby Jasmine 9 days ago today.  She was my soulmate and I struggle to find the words to express the intensity of my pain and sadness.  I don't know how to go on without her.  It hurts to breathe.

I don't know how we carry on without them but there are others here who prove it can be done.  I'm struggling with you.  Every minute is a struggle.


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FClaire

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Posts: 147
Reply with quote  #23 
Hi, Can I just say. Your reply it's as if I've just wrote that, I'm so sorry you are feeling like this too and very sorry for your loss of your baby Jasmine, its just heartbreaking isnt it?
What's making me hesitate? I dont really know. Maybe because I'm thinking its early days, give it a while longer, all these thoughts and feelings are all normal I keep getting told. I have no doubt they probably are. Or is it because I want someone to take all this pain away,and by seeing someone that will happen. I know obviously it wont. So I just dont know. All I know is like you it's not getting easier only harder, and at this moment I can't see forward without Ollie in my life. I need to somehow retrain my thoughts, but I just dont know how,I feel stuck. So maybe this is where counseling may help. Who knows.
I am going to enquire I think next week, please let me know if it helps you. Xxx
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Bdoggie

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Posts: 47
Reply with quote  #24 
I did OK yesterday. I only cried a few times. I tried to watch TV.  I'm a huge fan of college FB (Penn State U.). That only helped distract me a little. I can't stand the quietness of our house. It's deafening. I use all the white noise as possible (TV, fans, etc.). But nothing can fill the emptiness.

I seem to have backtracked today. Started crying as soon as I got up. Mornings are the worst, when I get up and Mitsie's not here. I feel like I die a little each day :(
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Memories_of_Marmalade

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Reply with quote  #25 


Me too. Last night, I began crying again. Just wept and wept for my lost lad. : *** ( 

Hugs to all,
James
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Bdoggie

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Posts: 47
Reply with quote  #26 
Thank you James. Hugs back at you. My heart goes out to you and all who suffer this loss and grief.
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Bdoggie

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Reply with quote  #27 
Today we pickup Mitsie's ashes to bring them home. I'm trying to deal with the emotions this is creating.

When we took Mitsie to the Vet's, I told her not to worry. That Daddy would be back for her. Those words haunt me now. This is not what I meant.

Today is going to be a bad day.
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Sayuri

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Posts: 58
Reply with quote  #28 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bdoggie
Mysweetsimba, thank you.

I don't remember things being this bad. The pain is almost madding. Our home has turned into a torture chamber. It seems like everything is intertwined, with Mitsie or things we did with her. Every week when we went for groceries, we'd get a dog toy and hide it in one of the bags. When we got home we'd set the bags on the floor and Mitsie would go through the bags, until she found the toy. She loved that game. Now we must have 100+ toys and I can't bear the thought of getting rid of one.

My wife just came home from work. Something set her off, she broke down and couldn't stop crying. I can't help myself, but I try to help her and it breaks my heart to see her in such pain. I don't know how to go forward right now......
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Sayuri

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Posts: 58
Reply with quote  #29 
I am so sorry you lost such a wonderful friend. Everyday is a struggle, but I feel like the pain for me is getting worst. Feels like my body is going to turn into jelly. Weird sensation. My heart aches, my stomach is in knots. My husband doesn't want to hear about my guilt, and I also partly blame him. I feel anger at the vet. Leaving her Shouldn't have been an option. She had a rare disease but it was not terminal. She shouldn't have died alone, scared in an oxygen cage. I knew better, so I can't understand why we thought she had to be left there. I don't want to talk to friends or family bc they're probably tired of me talking about the should haves. This is where we can find solace and comfort. I ask God for strength, I feel like staying in bed alone. Be well. You loved your Baby so much, the only thing we can hope for is relief from guilt and pain.
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FishChris

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Posts: 30
Reply with quote  #30 
Bdoggie, I am SO sorry about your beloved Mitsie 😢 We love Weiner dogs too. They have such strong personalities. We have a nearly all white Wiener dog, and a chiweenie, named Girlie, which I call turd nugget 🙂 ..... or, my little nugget for short.

As I've said before, our relationship with Sadie Mae, was more like a closest friend, whereas with the little ones, they are more like our furry kids. We love them all though.

Anyway again, I am so sorry about your loss 😢

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Animal lover and photographer
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