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Bdoggie

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Reply with quote  #1 
On Friday 8-23-19 at 4am, We put our angel, Mitsie Louise to rest. She was a 9 year old rotty.
 
 In 2010, My wife had stage 3 breast cancer. I agreed to adopting Mitsie to help my wife. Thinking, Mitsie would give us someone else to put our focus on. I didn't know I was bringing home an angel.

 My wife had lost another girl named Mitsie Jean about 5 years before that. We had a second furbaby at the time, so we held off on getting a new family member. But my wife always had a hole in her heart. 
 
 When we brought Mitsie home, she took over.  Mitsie was a ray of sunshine, cutting through the gloom.  My wife spent all her time doting on her new baby. She got my wife through chemo and everything else. Truly an angel.
 
 Today my wife is 9 years cancer free.

 Mitsie had some joint stiffness in her back leg, but all in all, she was in great health. We gave her half an anti-inflammatory pill (previ-cox) about every 5 days as needed .  She had a wellness exam in early July, everything normal. Then about a week and a half ago she started to limp on her front right leg. We didn't think too much of it at first, but then it started to get worse. We took her to the vet and was told she had an infection in her leg. She was up to date on all her shots including lyme. The vet did blood work thinking it could be another tick borne illness. Nothing. The vet sent us home with a pain med, an antibiotic and said to up her previ-cox to a whole tablet every day.

The next day she didn't want to eat and didn't want to walk. We couldn't get her to take her pills we called the vet, but she wasn't in. We were told to bring her in the next morning. She started throwing up around midnight. We just figured she had drank too much water. At 7am we noticed she was breathing kind of funny, so we took her to the emergency vets. He told us her kidneys were not working right. They had her stabilized and wanted to start an IV to start getting meds and fluids in her and keep her overnight. We called our vet and she said Mitsie was at the best place she could be.  

The vet gave her a 50-50 chance, but at the same time said we could bring her home the next day, with any luck. My wife said God told her to check on Mitsie at 2AM the next morning. The vet told her Mitsie was getting worse. I asked if we came in, would it help her fight. They said we should come in, but she may not last long enough for us to get there.

When we got there, I knew we were going to lose her. I asked the vet if there was any hope and she just said she didn't think so. My wife, My 81 year old mother and I decided she suffered enough and it was time. We all said our goodbyes and my wife cradled her head in her arms as she drifted off. Our angel went to the Rainbow Bridge. 

We've been a mess ever since. The vet said she thinks Mitsie had a reaction to one the meds and it caused blood clots in her kidneys, heart, lungs and brain. Once it started, there was no fixing it.

Oh God why did this happen to our little angel.

I am so full of grief, anger, guilt and such a profound sadness. The pain is almost unbearable.

I'm 63 and spent my whole life with dogs. But nothing can prepare you for this, no matter how many time you go through it.

It just seems harder this time. I'm so very tired now, so I'm gonna go.

I love you Mitsie, Now and forever and ever........





 
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BerlinsMomma

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Reply with quote  #2 
I'm sorry. Rest easy sweet Mitsie. 
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Bdoggie

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Reply with quote  #3 
When we put Mitsie to sleep, my wife, my mother and myself were weeping and sobbing, as we said goodbye. All three of us saw wetness on the fur around her eyes.

Do dogs cry?
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Mysweetsimba

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Reply with quote  #4 
Biggie I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like Mitsie had things happen so quickly to her. I don't know if dogs cry tears, I think I read somewhere that their system works differently to ours.
They do love. And they do feel love. Mitsie was a God send for your family. You are all very brave and have gone through alot. You have managed to share your love with many animals, know that your love has multiplied many times with each one of them.
I wish I could do that as well.
All I can say is that you know you will never stop loving her. She will never leave your heart. I hope you and your family are able to move through the pain. My best wishes and condolences to you all.
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Bdoggie

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Reply with quote  #5 
Mysweetsimba, thank you.

I don't remember things being this bad. The pain is almost madding. Our home has turned into a torture chamber. It seems like everything is intertwined, with Mitsie or things we did with her. Every week when we went for groceries, we'd get a dog toy and hide it in one of the bags. When we got home we'd set the bags on the floor and Mitsie would go through the bags, until she found the toy. She loved that game. Now we must have 100+ toys and I can't bear the thought of getting rid of one.

My wife just came home from work. Something set her off, she broke down and couldn't stop crying. I can't help myself, but I try to help her and it breaks my heart to see her in such pain. I don't know how to go forward right now......
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Memories_of_Marmalade

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Reply with quote  #6 


Dear BDoggie,

I too am very sorry to learn about what your beloved "Mitsie Louise" and you and your Mrs. and Mother all went through. Thank you for sharing some of "Mitsie's" story here with us.

As you may know the average lifespan of a dog in the wild is only around 10 years of age. They are biologically designed / engineered to live to only around that age. True, we as humans can often extend their natural lifespans, by providing them with regular feedings and fresh water, shelter (from predators and the weather / elements), the occasional trip to the Vet's (and possible treatment and medication(s) and love and affection (which are important to overall well-being) but there are no guarantees that we can extend a dogs life.

"Forever" would not have been long enough to have known and been with your "Mitsie Louise", but it is comforting to know that for 9 full and glorious years she was provided with "a good life" by you and your family. All dogs should be so blessed and fortunate to have experienced what you and your Mrs. gave to your pup. And in return, she was there for your wife and you during a very dark & difficult time. And she no doubt helped your wife heal, get better and stay in remission. Due to the circumstances above, "Mitsie" may have become a "Spirit Animal" for your lady and you. Which is why it may be even harder now to cope with her loss.

A dog sees its job as providing love, affection, companionship, healing, security (< just by being a Rott) and entertainment. It sounds like your "Mitsie" gets an "A +" in all of these categories.

Many of us here are experiencing the exact same things that you and your lady are. Including our lives being disrupted completely by losing that daily routine, which was built on love, adoration, comfort and care for our lost beloved's, and the feelings of overwhelming emptiness that we now feel, where we lived with our loved ones who have departed. All that we can do is continue to travel together through time, moment by moment, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, night by night, week by week, month by month and yes, if necessary year by year, until we fully recover. We need to chip away at our grief bit by bit.

They say: 

"by showing our pets great mercy, and ending their pain & suffering, we agree to have their pain & suffering transferred onto ourselves, into our minds and bodies. And then we process that pain & suffering through our grief. This is the bargain that many of us here have made."

The passing of time is a key component in the grieving process. As you well know, it is unavoidable. We just have to keep moving forward. As Bruce Springsteen recently said (in regard to his own depression) "It's where the morning is."

We are all so blessed to have known and experienced such unconditional and non-judgmental love that we were provided by our pets, in our lifetimes. Many people, who have never fully bonded with a pet, will never know what we do. It is their tremendous loss. 

Please know that you and you wife and your Mother are not alone. "Mitsie" is still with you, and all around you, in spirit, and all of us here on this forum are with you in comradeship.

Kind regards & my sincerest condolences,
James
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Bdoggie

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Reply with quote  #7 
Thank you James.

I read through the forum, when I first found this web site. You appear in a lot of threads, giving advice, words of comfort, insight and warmth. I applaud you.

I thank you again for taking the time to offer me and my family, your kind words.

God bless you and yours.
Bill
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Memories_of_Marmalade

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Reply with quote  #8 


It is both my privilege and my honor Bill. Thank you for your gracious words.

It's interesting I've noticed (as have others here) how there appears to be groups of us in grief, who arrive to this forum, post, comment and mutually support each other and then slow down participating and posting and eventually depart. But others sometimes continue to visit. Especially on the anniversary dates of losing their beloved(s.)

It is encouraging, inspiring and comforting how organically well this forum works. It shows the better part of humanity in my opinion. Which I suppose is characteristic of all of us, considering the deep love we felt for other species. 

So cheers to each of us! 

And may God bless you and your family and keep you.

All my best,
James
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Bibbi

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Reply with quote  #9 
Hi Bdoggie,
I am so sorry for your loss!
Mitsie sure is an angel, helping you all on your journey in life. Its so wonderful to hear how our beloved ones helps us through they day... just by being..
I love how you mentioned buying her toys. I used to do something similar to my baby boy Ludwig (golden retriever) who i lost 19 days ago. In my previous work i travelled quite frequently, just short trips - but i needed to use airplanes. I used to walk around all the airports looking for new teddybears to buy him. He loved them, and when i got home he was so eager to get his new toy and his eyes were shining of anticipation, his tail wagging, and he went "all in" on the new teddybear.. shaking and throwing them around, being in the moment like only animals can be - enjoying himself and being happy and playful.
Thank you for bringing these memories of mine to my attention in the middle of my sorrow. My Ludwig also had so many toys, this may sound silly... but i actually sleep with his favorite teddybear in my bed, just to have something of him near...
Again, I am so sorry for your loss, it is very clear you all love her very much - hold on to the love!
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Bdoggie

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Reply with quote  #10 
Thank you Bibbi.

Retrievers are some of the most noble creatures on the planet. I'm sure Ludwig made you proud. I can picture him throwing that teddy bear around, shaking it and play growling. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, too. Thank you for taking time out of your grief, to offer us your kind words.
I'm sure Ludwig loves that you sleep with his favorite teddy. It's not silly at all. As a matter of fact, I find that to be beautiful. That's you keeping him close to your heart and he loves you for it. What a lucky boy.

It's 5AM hear in central PA. Today is the first day, I haven't started the day crying, yet. And I feel guilty about it. Oh how I miss my Mitsie girl.
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Bdoggie

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Reply with quote  #11 

Forever Free
–Unknown

You’ll Meet Me in the Light
I know that you can’t see me,
But trust me I’m right here.
Although I’m up in heaven,
My love for you stays near.

So often I see you crying,
Many times you call my name,
I want so much to lick your face
And ease some of your pain.

I wish that I could make you see
That Heaven indeed is real.
If you could see me run and play
How much better you would feel.

But our loving God has promised me
That when the time is right,
You’ll step out of the darkness and
Meet me in the light.

I love you and miss you Mitsie.

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Bdoggie

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Reply with quote  #12 

The Creation
–Author Unknown

When God had made the earth and sky
the flowers and the trees,
He then made all the animals
the fish, the birds and bees.

And when at last He’d finished
not one was quite the same.
He said, “I’ll walk this world of mine
and give each one a name.”

And so He traveled far and wide
and everywhere He went,
a little creature followed Him
until its strength was spent.

When all were named upon the earth
and in the sky and sea,
the little creature said, “Dear Lord,
there’s not one left for me.”

Kindly the Father said to him,
“I’ve left you to the end.
I’ve turned my own name back to front
and called you dog, My friend.”

Thank you. I will always cherish your gift.

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JCat

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Reply with quote  #13 
So sorry for your loss of Mistie - had me practically misty-eyed as well (I'm too familiar with that level of pain from 4 months ago). I'm so glad your wife came through that all. 
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Bdoggie

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Reply with quote  #14 
Today is one week, since Mitsie passed. The pain is still beyond what seems possible. The emptiness, beyond belief.

I loved my little girl beyond words........
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Jasmines_Mom

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Reply with quote  #15 
Bdoggie - Just know that you are not alone.  I lost my baby Jasmine 8 days ago and my grief is overwhelming.  I don't know how to go on without her.  I know what you are going through and you are not alone.
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I miss you every minute of every day, my sweet baby Jasmine.
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