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Madeline23t
I am so sorry for everyone's loss. I lost my beautiful snoopy on Monday and my heart is full of pain. They say talking about him and the good times mends everything but nothing help. I just cry. I want him back even afterbhebpassed. My dog was my life hold strong knowing you are not alone
Mtulipani
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Jakesmama
Hi Madeline, I'm so sorry for your loss. That first week is the worst. I was always sleeping on Jake's beds all day and all night just crying and crying with a terrible pain in my stomach. The emotional pain was and is so bad that I feel it physically. I now have some moments when I'm just numb and I'm back at work. Sometimes I feel like it helps and sometimes I feel like it makes things worse. I know how you feel you poor thing. We are all here for you and we share and understand your pain. Sending you warm squishy hugs. May peace and comfort be with you today.
Kerry
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justanotherbrick
I too carry my Ginger's toy with me everywhere I go. Nobody has noticed yet, but I'm scared people will think I'm insane when they see this. When my Ginger was alive, she'd always sleep under my mom's bed. When she passed I noticed there were bundles of her hair under the bed. I kept them in a bag, tonight I'm putting them in a necklace urn that I will wear for the rest of my life. I made sure it's not noticeably an urn though.

I told my best friend this, and she thinks I'm being ridiculous. You know what? I do not care. Absolutely nobody understands. I understand how you feel. I can't tell you anything that will make the pain go away... but in time you won't cry so much. I don't much anymore, but it still randomly springs on me at random. One day I came home and took a nap. I looked to my side and noticed I left her toy in my car. I hysterically cried for two hours, she crossed the rainbow bridge august 5th. Time has passed but I still have my moments. Please, don't care what other people think. Grieve, cry, scream, remember, and do crazy things like keep a lock of hair in your necklace. They were our babies... they are waiting for us... they are everything to us.

My Ginger was my first love to another, my joy, and now my peace when it's time to leave this earth. I'm so sorry for how you lost your baby. I couldn't even hold Ginger anymore when her soul left her body... I wish I did though. I just couldn't stand to see her deceased when for the past twelve years she was happy and wagging her tail. It's beautiful that you got to spend that time that you did. I hope you someday realize this. I hope things get better for you soon.
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Vandome
Hello Jakesmama, so sorry for the loss of your baby.  I truly understand the PAIN, it certainly takes a piece of your heart.  I loss my baby boy on June 4th of this year from Kidney Disease. I rescued by " Cosmo " on Dec. of 2010 he was three years old. He was my ENTIRE WORLD.  He was diagnosed in 2013 with the disease. At the end, he was hospitalized three times and on the third hospital visit which was his last, I questioned myself should I have done something different.  Maybe it is something we all wonder but after time goes by you understand your baby is suffering and there really is much to do but let them cross and be comfortable.  My COSMO was with me every day for five years, I even took him to work with me.  The only time we were not together was on those three hospital stays.  This is something that helps me get through my days, I know my boy has crossed but I feel he is still with me.  He is not in the physical sense but I feel in my heart he is still with me and will always be.  Remember the beautiful times you had together.  May you heal in time and GOD bless you

































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Jakesmama
Thank you so
Much Cosmo and Gingers mom/dad? These posts mean so much to me. The vet took a lock of hair from over Jakes heart that I plan to put in some kind of locket. I too feel Jake is with me. I see him everywhere. I lost a little piece of his banket that I cut off (I put his blanket in the casket with him) and I can't find it. Im so upset. I'm hoping that he'll bring it to
Me. Now I carry a little piece of a toy in my
Pocket and another toy in my purse. I go to the pet cemetery to visit him all the time. I know this sounds crazy, but I sometimes open the back door to my car for him to jump in like he used to, and when I open the door to the house I stop to let him go first. I would always sleep in the other room with him because my husband didn't want him in the room. I slept in the room that I slept in with Jake last night and it was so painful not having him there. I took his beds to my parents house because I thought my husband would throw them away. I stayed with my parents for a week after he passed and felt so comforted sleeping in Jakes bed. I prefer it over sleeping in my bed. I feel like I can't mourn in my house with my husband. I was talking to him about my pain and I saw him try to hold back a laugh. Thank you so much for responding. Great big squishy hugs to you. May peace and comfort find you today. I always feel strange saying that because I haven't had much peace or
Comfort. But I truly wish that for you.
Kerry
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CaseyL
Your story.... It's somewhat like mine. It's been about 2 months now.... The pain is hell, it is agony. I even comsidered suicide to end this greif in hopes I could be with my little dog. I cried for him every day more than anything I ever cried for in my life, and I'm NOT a crier.

He lived for me. I lived for him.

All I can tell you is that 2 months later the pain doesn't lessen in intensity, but it does lessen in frequency. I still hurt so badly for him. But now I can look at his pictures and smile for all the good times we had. I can finally move on. My one saving grace was that I found another dog to fill that void. He isn't anything like my little boy. He has his own qualities that I love. He keeps me warm at night and wants me to love him.

A new pet is NOT ever a replacement for your Jake. It is a replacement for the feelings of despair you are experiencing. At first you will not want to get close for fear of betraying the memories of Jake. This will go away. Let me know if you want to see the post I made when I lost my little little dog.
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Jakesmama
Hi Casey, thank you so much for your response. I relate to your feelings EXACTLY. I'm so sorry to hear of your pain. I would not wish this pain on anyone. I would love to see the Post you made for your little dog. I actually got your post as I was sitting next to Jake at the cemetery. I bought the lot next to him so I could sit by him. I play a song for him every time I go. I'm glad you have found some sort of relief in your new dog. He/she is very lucky to have you. You are so kind. I would do anything to be with Jake right now. Big squishy hugs to you and your new doggy. May peace and comfort find you today.
Kerry
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Madeline23t
Thank you Kerry, this forum is helping me cope. I so bad want to hug him. My baby is gone. Hugs to everyone feel this horrible pain. Today we brought a tree in honor of my snoopy. As my husband bug a hole to plant the tree he found a feather He ran inside and said snoopy is happy we're we planting the tree he gave me a sign. I started crying because he will always watch his daddy work on the lawn outside.
Mtulipani
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Jakesmama
Hi Madeline,
I'm so sorry for you loss. I know the pain you are going through. I do believe that snoopy gave you a sign. As I stepped outside my front door to go to Jakes funeral there was a dog on my porch. We startled each other. It was a dog I'd never seen before. I followed him down the driveway to the street. He kept looking at me. I believe Jake sent him to me. Or I like to believe that anyway. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. May peace and comfort find you today. Lots of hugs to you.
Kerry
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Jakesmama
I can't help but feel so guilty. I wish I would have done things differently so
My baby didn't have to suffer. I noticed during the day he passed he was sort of distant from me. I took him to the vet, and he seemed better, he was snuggling me again and kept putting his little head on my knee. Ive hears dogs keep
Their distance from you when they are going to die. I can't help but think he thought he was going to get better at the vet, and that's why he snuggled again. I can't believe I didn't tell the vet about his gums being pale. When we got home he was distant again. Like he knew I didn't help him. I should have taken him for the blood transfusion, I should have told the vet about his gums. The guilt is overwhelming. He was counting on me to make him better. My poor baby suffered because of me. I don't know how I can live with myself.
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Ryliesomissed_loved
I hope maybe what I continue to live with as a huge part of my everyday, right now may help you even if in some tiny way. I do know your pain and broken heart. My westie Rylie went suddenly and totally unexpected. It was a nightmare!!! the hardest and worst pain I could ever imagine.
Please try even as hard as it is, not to go where you feel guilt. You could not control what happened...period. You have to remember you did everything you could do!!! Beating yourself up and torturing yourself is not good and doesn't help. For me I can STILL only take one day at a time, and it has been 16 long months since I lost my Rylie. I say everyday that I just can't believe it...I still don't want to accept it!!!
However, please understand it is part of life and there are things out of our control that we have to accept and they happen for reasons we may never understand. We don't want to give them up even when we know they are not going to live forever. We never have them in our lives as long as we would like.
I was so miserable I wouldn't get out of bed, did not want to function. I decided to go to counseling, talking to someone that can help you with small baby steps getting through the deepest love and pain you are struggling with. I also read lots of pet loss books. It helped me realize he doesn't want me to feel sad and to be unhappy. I continue to sleep with four of Rylie's favorite animal toys, I have his pictures in everyroom all over the place. I watch tv holding another of his favorite animal toys he would lay with in family room. I talk to him all through the day, everyday...I know he's listening.
Do what comforts YOU and don't worry about what anyone thinks or says. Avoid those negative people, that haven't walked in your shoes. I suggest not to discuss your feelings with them. They just don't get it and it is not for them to judge. Find your own peace and comfort the best way for you and forget everyone else. Your love is still as strong as ever for the both of you and I do believe you feel that and if you don't you will soon. Your love and your relationship goes on forever and I do believe we will be with them again one day as it is meant to be. It only makes sense. The deeper the love the harder the grief. Take one day at a time.
❤️
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Trudijane
Hello,

I just want to say how sorry I am for your loss of Jake.  One always doubts oneself as to whether they did as much as they could to keep the most important thing in the world to them, alive.  After reading what you write, I believe you did; as a compassionate person who loved Jake, you made the decision to end his suffering, not end his life.  Always try to remember that.  I have to as well.

I lost my cat Coony in late August.  Mind mind often ruminates over the last 4 days of his life when an unexpected diagnosis, took him away from me.  He had never been sick and then suddenly he was, but not just a small thing - a big thing that didn't have much hope.  I could have gone on with transfusions & biopsies to see what it was (they suspected cancer) and if they gave me a smidgeon of hope that he would be able to be treated, I would have gone on.  But I didn't get any hope.  Just doubts.  I brought him home to be euthanized.  I wanted to spend at least one day with him, but couldn't even get through the day because I saw that he was suffering; facing the corner bathroom wall on the floor and losing his urine.  I spent 2 hours lying on the bathroom floor with him until the vet came over.  I told him it would be alright over & over again and that I loved him (but he already knew that) and took his life & suffering away.

There are always questions in my mind...should have I gone on to give him more invasive tests with little hope for treatment?  I so did not want to lose him.  I had someone close with me when the vet spoke as I was in such a daze and she didn't see a way back for him - so I let him go.

Not a day goes by that I don't think of him and miss him.  I kiss his picture which is perched on his favorite post, good night and pet glass.  I still see life in those beautiful eyes of his.  I call his name when looking out the window hoping he can still here me, somewhere.

So I know how you feel.  Exactly.  The only thing we have to help us is time.  Take as much time as you need to grieve in the way that is best for you.  So very sorry.


TrudiJaneNeiverth
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Madeline23t
Thinking of everyone hope you are finding comfort day by day. My days are just the same. I have outburst of tears and then I manage to console myself. I started dreaming of my snoopy which has helped me cope. I cannot get rid of his bed . I get sick to my stomach. He still manages to tell me don't touch my bed. He would get mad if I moved his bed. He told me in my dreams why aren't you buying chicken anymore. Chicken was his favorite I made him everyday. I did stop buying Chechen since he passed. Warm hugs to everyone
Mtulipani
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Jakesmama
Thank you so much, Riley's mom or dad. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your post. I read it over and over. I am at a loss for words right now. I want to tell you how meaningful and helpful your post was. Thank you for sharing that you've read some books on pet loss. I am going to go to the book store this week to get one. I truly feel for you and your baby Riley. I still open doors for Jake and let him go first. I'm putting a few little Halloween decorations on his grave. They have a memorial every last Saturday of the month at the pet cemetery. I'm going to light a candle for Jake and will light one for all of your babies. Thank you again so much for your kind words. I can see why Riley loved you so much. May peace and comfort be with you today. I think I accidentally unsubscribed to the forum. I hope I didn't because you all have been so compassionate and understanding. I'm so thankful for you guys
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charliedog1
Dear Jakemama,
I am so sorry for your loss. Our dogs are like our own kids, they are our family. When they pass on, we lose a part of ourselves and it's hard to get back up.  It's also hard to stomach when others do not understand our pain or they are not supportive.  I lost my baby 8 days ago.  He was 13 years old.  He had been sick and was getting worse. I couldn't let him suffer anymore.  It was the hardest, most heart wrenching decision I ever had to make.  My husband had a hard time understanding the depth of my pain, which hurt me even more.  But slowly, I am feeling better, day by day.  I have been reading books on losing pets and grieving.  It has really helped me.  I hope that you will find some comfort in reading other people's stories and knowing that you are not alone.  
Blessings,
Sheila
Sheila
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