Oh, my Emma.
How much I miss you. Little did I know how much my life would change when mommy brought you home on that 3rd week in Jan 2011. I first thought...."What is my wife thinking? We are still in our apt and we are still in the process of closing our first home." But everything went smooth and we were in the house one week later. I remember packing everything up and doing moving trips between the apt and the new house. When i finally put you in the truck, you slept during the entire drive. We don't live at that house anymore. We moved into our current home when you were 3 years old. The new house was bigger and the new backyard was 100 times more awesome. But if I ever walked into our old home, I would definitely break down and cry into tears. They would probably have to carry my out of there. All your puppy memories will forever be in that house. :(
Mommy is doing ok with your loss. If she dwells on it, she says she will cry. So why dwell? She says that since it was an upstoppable cancer and since there was nothing anyone, even the oncologists could have done, that she is at peace with it. If it would have our fault, like leaving you in a hot car, than she says she would forever be a mess.
I have been going to a Pet Loss Support Group to talk about you. I always knew I would be in trouble & emotional when I lost you, but I honestly thought I had another 9 years or so before I would be there. A lot of people at the group talk about all their regrets. They say that they wish they had gotten around to taking their sweetie to a dog park. Or more walks. Or letting their sweetie up on the bed. Or the couch. But no regrets for you and I, huh? Or your sister Tulip. How many times per week did we go to the dogpark? At least 3-5 times, huh? Unless it was raining pretty bad. Other than counter-surfing, you got away with everything, huh? We even bought a third vehicle so that we didn't care about getting our main vehicles all hairy, muddy, wet and stinky. It was the dogpark mobile. Yup, you girls had your own vehicle. No excuses for us not taking you anywhere.
I think Tulip misses you, but only a little. You know her, she was always independent. Remember when we brought her home? She was about turn 7 months, and you were a little older at 8 months in Aug 2011. You were so excited! Tulip was a little sketchy. I don't blame her. She was abused and beaten for the first 5 or 6 months of her life. But by the end of the week, she knew she was in a safe place and we were a family.
You started becoming more stoic and sedentary when you turned 3. The last 2.5 years of your life, you were so chill and laid back. You didn't do much running those last 2 years, so you and Tulip kinda developed your routines indpendent of each other. You still ate together, slept together (most of the time), and we rode to the park or did walks together. I should have taken heed at how sedentary you had become. You were still happy. You still got excited for the dogpark and walks. But it had been a while since I had seen you run. I thought it was just due to your weight gain. Mommy and Daddy (especially Daddy) were really bad with the yummy people food. I kick myself for not taking you in at the end of 2014 or 2015. But the doctors said that they most likely would not have caught the cancer back than, since they couldnt even catch it on the day that you died.
But I sure do miss you. 3 months and 1 week. It's ironic. I feel like I havent seen you in forever, but yet it seems like we just brought you home as a puppy just yesterday. You actually were not mommy's first choice. But you crawled to her when mommy went to visit your litter. Someone asked me, "Are you mad at your wife for switching puppies and bringing home Emma instead?" I hadn't really thought about it. That same person said "Good!". Because even though you only had Emma for 5.5 years, she was spoiled rotten for those 5.5 years. Someone else could have gotten her and just chained her up in the backyard for 5.5 years. With you, she got to experience everything except for maybe chocolate.
And they were right. You were so rotten spoiled. So much so that I cant even say "I wish we had gotten around to that." Because we always got around to "that".
Since your passing, I have started talking to some really nice people. Jakob's mom, Maria is one of them. She sure does miss her Jakob. Are you guys keeping each other company? Snuggling with each other until we get to Heaven? You are about 1 year older than him, so you take good care of him and watch out for him.
Until, I will miss you everyday I am alive. I will think of you everyday that I am alive.
Love you Emma!