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desertflower

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Reply with quote  #61 
Omar, reading your posts make me sadder on the one hand but comfort me on the other. I am not so abnormal to mourn my pup/companion/son's best friend this fiercely. I miss him first thing in the morning till the last thing at night. I miss his big fat tail wagging and drumming against the door. I miss letting him out first thing in the morning blizzard or not. I miss his gentle gaze. I walk down to the basement and imagine I see him on his favorite pillow. I come up and imagine him on the rug where he passed away. I have to vacuum my house tomorrow but don't want to lose his smell/dander from the carpets. Terrible, terrible. Thank you to this forum for making me so much less alone. 
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OmarR

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Reply with quote  #62 
Desertflower,

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my Emma's story. She was perfect and beautiful!

And you are definitely NOT alone!

Hugs!

Omar.
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LUCYLULU

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Reply with quote  #63 
Omar~  I just read about your Emma. I am very, very sorry. What a gorgeous girl. To lose her so young breaks my heart. Over 10 weeks since she passed and I imagine the pain is still fierce. Keep talking to your girl. I hope you get lots of signs to remind you that she is with you & will be forever. Hugs, Kasey
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OmarR

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Reply with quote  #64 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LUCYLULU
Omar~  I just read about your Emma. I am very, very sorry. What a gorgeous girl. To lose her so young breaks my heart. Over 10 weeks since she passed and I imagine the pain is still fierce. Keep talking to your girl. I hope you get lots of signs to remind you that she is with you & will be forever. Hugs, Kasey


Kasey,

Thank you so much for the kind words!

I have read your previous stories about Sam & Lucy.

I hope it has been easier over time, and I hope to be there one day soon.
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OmarR

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Reply with quote  #65 
Today is 3 months since I lost my Emma. And it still hurts like it was yesterday.

This is a pic of her taken about 1 week before she passed away. Mommy took the pic, and she was actually looking at me while the photo was being taken.

IMG_1376112.jpg 

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CKMP

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Reply with quote  #66 
Omar,
She is absolutely gorgeous. . . Her eyes are amazing and filled with love . . . I have no words to say that will ease the sense of loss, the ache of missing your sweet Emma.  It just is a feeling we know only too well . . .  She is missed but know she is near to you each day . . .  Bonds never separate . . . So sorry - you are not alone in that sense of longing to see your special one, hear her or touch her . . . Take care
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OmarR

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Reply with quote  #67 
Quote:
Originally Posted by CKMP
Omar,
She is absolutely gorgeous. . . Her eyes are amazing and filled with love . . . I have no words to say that will ease the sense of loss, the ache of missing your sweet Emma.  It just is a feeling we know only too well . . .  She is missed but know she is near to you each day . . .  Bonds never separate . . . So sorry - you are not alone in that sense of longing to see your special one, hear her or touch her . . . Take care


Thank you so much for those kind words! They are VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!!!
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Foley09

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Reply with quote  #68 
So sorry for your loss!:( I also lost my best friend, my pug Oliver to lymphoma on August 18. The pain has been unbearable. He had just turned 6 the month before. This site has really helped me not feel so alone. I hope it will do the same for you.
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camunki

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Reply with quote  #69 
hi Omar, 3 months to me is still fresh and new and its normal to feel the way you feel. Heck, i even take sleeping pills on/off to help me drift off, some nights are worse than others.

I know I have come a long way since my Munki transitioned over 9 months ago....I was crying every single day, alot of soft tears just because I miss her, this past week is the first time ever that I did not cry, and that is a huge step for me, I am trying to remember the good things in life with my Munki, the happy times and I know for a fact my Munki would not want to see me sad and crying, i know that! Just because i do not cry now, does not mean i miss her any less. I went thru the guilt part for the first few months, I think it is part of the healing process. One good thing is i have had many "signs" from my Munki and more importantly many dreams of her which i call "visits" from her and that brings a smile to my face. I wish our pets could live til 80 or 100 human years, but that will never happen, their lives feel like they go by * in a blink of an eye *. And sometimes our precious pets are taken away too soon, too young, I know my sweet Dakota transitioned at 4 1/2 y/o and I never really knew the reason why, even though i knew their were alot of health problems that she had. I picture above of your Emma is absolutely beautiful, I hope you frame it!! Remember she is still with you, still loving you, still watching over..........until you meet again.

For now, be gentle with yourself and know that it will take alot of time to heal, I know it did for me, as I am still healing...but now after 9 months smiling a bit more,  yet still missing my baby so much.

__________________

Cam


 
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Jody

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Reply with quote  #70 
Omar, I love the picture. How beautiful! I stare at all my pictures on a daily basis as well. I too cannot seem to accept this. I wish this could just be a little easier for all of us on here. Thinking of you...
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OmarR

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Reply with quote  #71 

Oh, my Emma.

How much I miss you. Little did I know how much my life would change when mommy brought you home on that 3rd week in Jan 2011. I first thought...."What is my wife thinking? We are still in our apt and we are still in the process of closing our first home." But everything went smooth and we were in the house one week later. I remember packing everything up and doing moving trips between the apt and the new house. When i finally put you in the truck, you slept during the entire drive. We don't live at that house anymore. We moved into our current home when you were 3 years old. The new house was bigger and the new backyard was 100 times more awesome. But if I ever walked into our old home, I would definitely break down and cry into tears. They would probably have to carry my out of there. All your puppy memories will forever be in that house. :(

Mommy is doing ok with your loss. If she dwells on it, she says she will cry. So why dwell? She says that since it was an upstoppable cancer and since there was nothing anyone, even the oncologists could have done, that she is at peace with it. If it would have our fault, like leaving you in a hot car, than she says she would forever be a mess.

I have been going to a Pet Loss Support Group to talk about you. I always knew I would be in trouble & emotional when I lost you, but I honestly thought I had another 9 years or so before I would be there. A lot of people at the group talk about all their regrets. They say that they wish they had gotten around to taking their sweetie to a dog park. Or more walks. Or letting their sweetie up on the bed. Or the couch. But no regrets for you and I, huh? Or your sister Tulip. How many times per week did we go to the dogpark? At least 3-5 times, huh? Unless it was raining pretty bad. Other than counter-surfing, you got away with everything, huh? We even bought a third vehicle so that we didn't care about getting our main vehicles all hairy, muddy, wet and stinky. It was the dogpark mobile. Yup, you girls had your own vehicle. No excuses for us not taking you anywhere.

I think Tulip misses you, but only a little. You know her, she was always independent. Remember when we brought her home? She was about turn 7 months, and you were a little older at 8 months in Aug 2011. You were so excited! Tulip was a little sketchy. I don't blame her. She was abused and beaten for the first 5 or 6 months of her life. But by the end of the week, she knew she was in a safe place and we were a family.

You started becoming more stoic and sedentary when you turned 3. The last 2.5 years of your life, you were so chill and laid back. You didn't do much running those last 2 years, so you and Tulip kinda developed your routines indpendent of each other. You still ate together, slept together (most of the time), and we rode to the park or did walks together. I should have taken heed at how sedentary you had become. You were still happy. You still got excited for the dogpark and walks. But it had been a while since I had seen you run. I thought it was just due to your weight gain. Mommy and Daddy (especially Daddy) were really bad with the yummy people food. I kick myself for not taking you in at the end of 2014 or 2015. But the doctors said that they most likely would not have caught the cancer back than, since they couldnt even catch it on the day that you died.

But I sure do miss you. 3 months and 1 week. It's ironic. I feel like I havent seen you in forever, but yet it seems like we just brought you home as a puppy just yesterday. You actually were not mommy's first choice. But you crawled to her when mommy went to visit your litter. Someone asked me, "Are you mad at your wife for switching puppies and bringing home Emma instead?" I hadn't really thought about it. That same person said "Good!". Because even though you only had Emma for 5.5 years, she was spoiled rotten for those 5.5 years. Someone else could have gotten her and just chained her up in the backyard for 5.5 years. With you, she got to experience everything except for maybe chocolate.

And they were right. You were so rotten spoiled. So much so that I cant even say "I wish we had gotten around to that." Because we always got around to "that".

Since your passing, I have started talking to some really nice people. Jakob's mom, Maria is one of them. She sure does miss her Jakob. Are you guys keeping each other company? Snuggling with each other until we get to Heaven? You are about 1 year older than him, so you take good care of him and watch out for him.

Until, I will miss you everyday I am alive. I will think of you everyday that I am alive.

Love you Emma!

Your dad,
Omar.

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OmarR

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Posts: 143
Reply with quote  #72 
I want to thank everyone for the kind words.

Emma,

Today is 4 months since I have seen you. I still think about you everyday and still miss you everyday. I honestly don't know if there will ever be a day when I don't think about you. Right now, it feels like I will cry for you everyday until the day I go to my grave.

Thank you for giving me the honor of being your dad!

Here is a pic of you when you were just shy of 1.5 years old:

2011-05-22.jpg 

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OmarR

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Reply with quote  #73 
Another month has gone by without being able to hug my Emma.

5 months gone.


It seems like an eternity that you have been gone, but yet I have another eternity to wait until i get to see you again.

Oh, how I miss you so very much! You left just a big hole in our lives. :(

2011-05-21.jpg 


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OmarR

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Reply with quote  #74 
Happy 6th Birthday Emma!


It's been a little over 6 months since you had to leave us. :) I hope wherever you are, you are running with the wind like you did when you were a pup and the heart tumor hadn't affected you yet. Today, on your birthday, was the very first snowfall of the year for Indianapolis. How ironic, isn't? It's a fact that I will not forget for a very long time.

I know I don't have to tell you that there isn't a day that has gone by than I haven't thought of you or cried for you. We never really celebrated your b-day and sometimes we even forgot your birthday, remember a week or 2 later. Why? Because pretty much everyday was your birthday. You were so spoiled everyday of your life that there is honestly nothing we could have done differently on your birthday. You did everything everyday.

And now that you are not here to be spoiled everyday, ironically your birthday is now even more important to me than ever.

I hope to see you again in heaven!

Love,

Your dad Omar.
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LUCYLULU

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Reply with quote  #75 
Oh Omar~ I remember when you first came to the forum. Your love for Emma was so strong. And it is still is. And always will be. I love her pictures. She is so beautiful. Emma always looks like she is about to talk & tell you something. Likely she was about to say, between wet kisses...'I love you...I love you...I love you...to the moon and back'.

Thinking of your girl on her birthday. And I'm thinking of you after 6 long months without Emma. You've come a long way Omar. Travelled a monstrously tough road so far. I hope that your love will continue to carry you forward. And I hope that you get little signs from & moments when you know, you just know that Emma is with you. On the forum, you have reached out to some many grieving people. Emma is most proud :-) Huge hugs, Kasey
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