I just read your post, as I lost my Bodie yesterday afternoon.
I am a 46 year old male that is going through much of what you are, and in a constant state of sadness, anger, and depression.
Our children are grown and Bodie was really like our child. Their personalities are beyond a normal "pet", as they always seem to smile at us as they look into our eyes with love.
We made the toughest decision ever, to take away Bodie's pain and put onto ourselves.
Bodie was still somewhat active, but the cancer on his leg would spread quickly, and I could not let him go past the point of a quality life. He also had very very bad hip issues.
I know that everyone says the pain will eventually fade, etc, etc...and while true, I find it really hard to believe right now. How to go back to work and not break down in front of the other guys, when I am thinking of Bodie?
Prayer is now more constant than ever, and I really do believe that your Emma and my Bodie are running with one another, just waiting for our return. It really saddens me to write this, but in a stupid way, I feel a tiny bit of comfort that another guy felt so close to his furry best friend and my pain is not uncommon.
I am constantly looking at his pictures and watching videos, but the happiness only remains for a moment.
Did anything seem to help you? This site is pretty amazing at the support and kind words from everyone.
Trust me when I say that I know Exactly how you feel, and I am here with you and the others, remembering and feeling the happiness, loss, sadness, and a thousand other emotions.