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Raine401

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I rescued Raine last July. She was living in a shed in New York for about 6 months. Someone posted a picture on Instagram asking if someone would help rescue a senior. I saw her picture and without question asked for the address where I could pick her up. It was Monday and They wouldn’t let me get her until that weekend. I couldn’t sleep all week thinking about her being in that shed. That Saturday morning, I drove 3 hours to get her, didn’t tell my boyfriend or anyone where I was going. I didn’t want anyone to stop and question my decision.
When I picked her up she was so quiet and well behaved the entire way, no accidents, no crying, not a peep, nothing.
The minute we got home I set her up in her own room, she walked out of that carrier like she knew this was where she belonged. She fit right in, she became queen of the house. She stood her ground and my other 2 quickly learned who the new boss was.
I took her to the vet the following day for a check up. They did blood work and informed me that she was “perfect.” This was in July.
We have 2 other cats so my little Raine kept to herself and always loved to surprise us by jumping onto our laps or on the bed when the other two weren’t around. Raine always had an appetite, she would eat her food and the other cats food with no hesitation. As her fur grew back we didn’t know that she was getting bigger and bigger, since she doesn’t let us pick her up (never did.) We assumed she was putting on some weight since she ate so much.
Well, come March of 2019, I bring her to a specialist to get the lion cut. I didn’t want to sedate her (like the vet previously did) for her haircut.
The Groomer specializes in seniors that require special care. After Raine’s haircut, we noticed that her abdomen was larger than usual. After one week, it got bigger.
I immediately brought her to the vet where they did blood work and noticed a high white blood cell count. They suggested xrays which we did and that showed large masses and fluid. The vet sent her to then get an ultrasound which revealed irregular soft tissue density in the omentum along the mesenteric border, echogenic peritoneal effusion and an overall concern for carcinomatosis or other neoplastic.
During that visit, I asked the vet what she would do if this was her cat. She suggested that we drain the fluid to allow her more comfort and also a fluid analysis. They drained 400cc’s from her that day and sent her fluid to an oncologist. The results came back inconclusive so we were still unsure what type of cancer she had. They sent her home with gabapentin for the pain. The following week we had another 400ccs of fluid drained from her belly. During this time, she was still happy and eating just as much as she always did.
I followed up with an internal specialist and oncologist. They said they can only treat the cancer when they know exactly what type of cancer she has. They then drained another 600ccs of fluid and tested her fluid with a needle.
The results came back, a dreading diagnoses of carcinomatosis. Our options were to continue draining her fluids every week and letting nature take its course, or attempt chemo to stop the cancer from spreading.
We opted for chemo because I had to try, I couldn’t just let my baby go without trying.
The chemo they gave her was carboplatin (directly injected in the belly.) After we brought her home, she seemed fine, same as always.
The next day she ate a little bit less than usual and the 3rd day she completely stopped eating. She was vomitting and not making it to litter box in time. I called the vet and they gave us cerina and metronidazole. I attempted to give her the pills but its very difficult. She is very thin and seems fragile. We finally gave her both pills and it helped for a day. I can’t imagine having to force these pills down her throat every single day, it seems like torture. The vet gave us a liquid which somewhat helped. During this time I have purchased every type of wet food out there and she didn’t seem too interested. I asked the vet if we can give her fluids since she wasn’t eating. We gave her fluids on Monday of last week and they said she seemed to be doing ok. That Thursday I noticed her eye had a ton of discharge, I took her straight to the vet. The vet and her internal specialist said her eye seemed fine . They were however concerned about her temperature. She was 98 degrees. They told me to wrap her up and keep her warm. The whole way home I blasted my heat and wrapped her up in a blanket. When we got home I wrapped her up in her heated blanket and she seemed fine. A few hours later she got out of her bed and just dropped, she seem to have some sort of trouble breathing and I panicked. I called the vet and the vet said she thinks it’s time that the cancer is proving to be too much for her. I rushed her to the vet and I remember hearing her loud breathing right before the exit. I was in such a black out I don’t even remember coming into the vet hospital. I was such a mess. They told me that she was still breathing but there was no brain activity. I was devastated. I couldn’t stop crying. They said she would have no quality of life and would need to be in an incubator. I had no choice. They let me hold her after they injected her. I couldn’t let her go. It hurt so bad. I blame myself for not getting her to the hospital in time. I blame myself for letting her go through chemo. I blame myself for causing her pain and suffering. When will it get easier? This is so painful for me. I loved her so much. I was so blind to her frail little body. I am so grateful for the time we spent together. I am so happy she made it to her 14th birthday (4/26.) I know that she was meant to be with me this past year. I wish we spent more time together. I wish this horrible disease didn’t exist.
I know she is in a better place now. She deserves all the love and happiness in the world. Although it sucks not having her physically, her presence has not left this house :(.

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phalaris14

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Reply with quote  #2 
 I am so sorry for our loss. Raine was such a beautiful cat.You were the perfect cat mom. We all experience loss in our own unique way. Come to this site often... it really helps. All of these snippets are true. Time does a wonderful job of lessening the pain over time.
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