hi on Sunday I lost my ginger little friend rusty. He was only 4 years old.
About a year ago he was diagnosed with a heart murmer and had an enlarged heart but the vets said with medication daily he should live a good life so I wasn't so worried and made sure I was always watching his breathing n that he always had his meds.
Sunday he was absolutely fine I never would have thought he was ill. He never came home which was odd as he always slept at home at night. On monday morning a vet rang me saying someone had found him curled up asleep in their garden, he didn't make it. 
I'm in shock my poor baby, i take comfort it was quick n painless im just really struggling dealing with life without him I cant stop crying n have become depressed. I want to stop feeling pain but I don't know how? I wish I could have helped him n I couldn't n im finding it hard to accept that. Any guidance would be appreciated its like I have a hole in my chest daily 
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I'm sorry for the loss of your Rusty. It sounds to me like you did the best you could and you gave him a wonderful 4 years. I think what you're feeling is quite normal, but you can't rush through the steps of grief and fast forward through your pain. In time it will become less painful and the memories will make you smile instead of making you sad, that much I can promise you. 
“Until one has loved an animal, a part of ones soul remains unawakened” ~ Anatole France
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