I lost my Jackson 26 hours ago, but every second since that moment that I saw him unexpectedly draw his last breath before my very eyes is a very painful memory. Ive never had to go through this before. I just know I miss my boy. He was a faithful feline to me for 16 years. He was such a loving cat. My heart aches all the time and I dont know how Im going to cope with all of this for all the days to come. I thought maybe Id just need a few days and I may be okay, but I dont know what I was thinking..It was the hardest letting him go. I elected to have him cremated because I want him to be indoors with me where he belongs and near me. Jackson along with his 2 dog brothers Jax and Oscar always followed me to the bathroom every single time I would go. Now there are only the dogs and part of me knows that they are grieving too and I need to show them love, but part of me feels like its unfair to because Jackson isnt here to be loved on anymore. I cant make sense of anything that happened yesterday morning at 7:40 am, I just know my heart was shattered into a million pieces. Suprisingly I made it through a whole day of work, but not without crying. I know life goes on, but I dont want it to go without Jackson. I know we had 16 years together and that his time would draw near that Id have to say goodbye to him, but I didnt know it would be this painful. I just dont know what to do. He was the first thing I thought of this morning and the last thing before I went to bed. I just want him to be here with me!!!!!! I know he is in a better place, but I want him here with me....Help!!! how does this work...How do I do get through each day..
Maria, thank you for posting to me and Buck. I dont have much positive to offer except that you and I made it through the night and it is morning so we push on thru another day. Weekends are hard because that was my time with my boy when I didnt have to leave him to work. Just last week he was still alive and the decline was so obvious and I knew he was nearing the end. Life will forever be defined as before and after. Please keep writing to me and Buck.