I am so thankful for this site. I never post on forums like this, but I found this site so helpful, I was compelled. I lost my sweet kitty, Bubba, Wednesday morning at 3 am. He's been with me through everything, from college, to marriage, moving house, everything for 11 years. He was fine all up until Sunday morning, when I noticed he wasn't eating and lethargic. I made him an appointment at the vet Monday. The vet said all his bloodwork was fine, but he was a bit blocked up, and was going to give him a procedure to help him go potty. I was so relieved it wasn't serious. He stayed at the vet overnight, and came home Tuesday afternoon. Tuesday evening when I came home from work he was lying at the sofa struggling to breathe. I rushed him to the emergency vet who treated him for pneumonia, but he was just too weak. At 1 am, Wed, we got the call that there was nothing left they could do. My mother took me to the office, and I held my baby til he was calm, and then the vet came over and administered the medication to put him down. I was and am devastated.
Wednesday day was just horrible. I couldn't eat, and everytime I tried to sleep, I got severe anxiety because I kept reliving that moment over and over. I take some comfort in knowing he was calm and with his momma, and not scared when he passed. I hated to take him in the car and to the vet, because it stressed him so much. I came home and looked up coping with pet loss and found this site. I read it all day. I felt for each and every post I read. It was helpful to know I was not the only one out there. I cried and cried, for them and for me. In fact, I'm still crying as I write this.
I'm with all of you who say it's just not reality any more. How do you cope with a piece of you being gone? My husband and I are taking it one day at a time. I found today was a little better than yesterday, and I'm hoping for a little better tomorrow. I feel silly and pathetic, as I can't bring myself to even vacuum the floor where all his pet hair is, or throw his pet scratcher away. I'm trying to be normal for our other cat, but she seems more grieved today than she did yesterday. She barely leaves my side, and I know she misses her Bubba.
I'm struggling to cope, like many of you. It was all too sudden, and he was fine just Saturday. It makes no sense, and I still can't believe it happened. It wasn't supposed to be like this. He was supposed to go peacefully, in his own home, and not in a scary hospital. I guess we'll all come to terms eventually, but, I'm just working to make it through each day. Thank you all for listening.