Jackz Show full post »
It slowly gets easier Jackz.  So slow in fact that you can't feel the progress while your in it but rather only after some time has passed and can you look back and think, somehow I've made it this far.  
It's been just over 6 months for me since I lost my best good friend Romeo and I still breakdown often.  When I think about it during those breakdown moments I think I have such a long ways to go still to heal but when I look back I do have to acknowledge my progress, even though it is very slow.  Take the time, when you can, to acknowledge your own progress while you continue to heal.  We all grieve and heal in our own ways and it won't be the same path for any of us.  It took me months before I could close my eyes again and not see the last moments of Romeo's life at the vet.  I've tortured myself analyzing each and every detail of every moment of that day over and over.  I finally had to consciously make an effort to think of him playing or us wrestling or some other happy moment so I can block the memory as that is not how I want to remember the wonderful life he had.  The memory I want to take with me from his last day is that I was there for him when he needed me most, just as you were there for Sherman when he needed you, surrounded by love.  I realize this is easier said than done and is something I work at every day still.  It takes time to heal and please remember to allow yourself that time.  Others will heal faster and differently than you, even within your own family - this happened to me when my wife processed her grief and moved on while I stayed stuck and have moved much slower.  When you can look at his pictures, videos and remember him for that is all we have now are memories.  You will smile and laugh, then cry and hopefully have some more laughter as you remember Sherman and the special love he brought you.  It was all tears for me for a long time and just recently I can smile again, at times, before the sadness brought on by missing Romeo comes again.  As I said, my progress is slow.  Use this forum and all of us here for the support you need, especially when if you find others around you have moved on from Sherman quicker than you can.  There was a link someone posted on this forum a while back that spoke to me about how I feel about my grief and the fact that it comes in waves that I will leave for you below.  I thought it was right on and it gave me a little bit more hope for my recovery as well.  It was about a human friend but I think most of us here can agree that our beloved fur friends are just as if not closer than our humans to many of us.  
All my best.


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Romeos Daddy, your post is what I needed to hear. What beautiful words. When I saw the picture of you and Romeo you posted with the poem you wrote, I can see the love. What a beautiful dog. Looks like you might have been at a camp site? Now that must be a wonderful memory. People around my wife and me were wonderful last month when we lost Sherman. I had a cousin who lost her beloved dog 3 years ago, constantly calling and texting me, because she knew what we were going through. She sent flowers. We got cards from 2 Vets, from neighbors, from family.......people who knew at my work would stop me in the hall and hug me, which was wonderful, but that always makes me break down. I find myself getting annoyed because two of my three grown children don't seem to care, I'm sure they do but they never bring it up. 
That last day at the Vet is like a horror movie that keeps playing over and over in my head, but it is easing up a little.  I spent 12 years keeping Sherman safe, getting him the best Vet care, the best food, always getting him groomed. I used to worry when we took him on a long trip that somehow he would get loose at a rest stop.....12 years of care and concern, and then to have to watch that last day..........I was practically laying on top of him......I do know he couldn't go on the way he was and it was the right thing to do, I just hope he felt the love that day. Our Vet even cried and she said she never cries because she tries to stay strong for her clients. I can't look at his picture yet. Or the little bit of fur I have of his in an envelope. Those are both sitting on my desk under the last bandana he got after his last grooming that says "I am loved". 
Anyway, your words are very comforting here. This is a great place to come and feel  like you aren't alone, or you aren't crazy. The link you posted is wonderful. I am sending it to my wife to read. Thank you so much for you eloquent words, they are so appreciated.
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