ksfrick
It's been 11 days and it just hit me hard.

We adopted Bubba the Boxer Mother's Day 2008.  He was about a one-year old rescue who was afraid and in very bad shape.  I loved him right away.  I had lost 3 dogs in a fire 5 years before and was not sure I would ever be ready to have another dog.  

Bubba was my running partner and stood by me in some of the most difficult times I ever had.  When I was near death with Lyme, he was always with me.  When we took in an abused and neglected child, he kept her safe.  

In 2013 Bubba was diagnosed with a heart condition very common in Boxer's.  Our vet told us we had maybe a year left with him.  He beat those odds by 5 years.    He went through 2 cancer surgeries but stayed the same happy, loving Bubba throughout it all.  

Last year we thought we were losing him.  He had a series of UTIs.  He gave us 13 months after that to say goodbye and to be as ready as we could be to live without him.  I recovered from Lyme and our child became old and confident enough to sleep alone, without Bubba when he could not longer do the stairs.  We gave him a Frosty Paw every night for his last year.  

On July 26, his back legs just stopped working.  I think we knew this was it.  The vet believed he had a blood clot go to his spine.  When they gave him the sedative he looked the most peaceful he looked in a long time.  We knew we were doing the right thing by putting him to sleep.  

In so many ways, this is a happy story.  We had the best dog ever (and I have had dogs almost all my 56 years) and he gave us so much more than we could have ever given him.  He lived far longer than anyone expected and we had the opportunity to let him go without too much discomfort.

I'll never forget you sweet boy.  My heart is breaking thinking of never seeing you on this earth again.  I love you with all my heart.
Bubba's Mom
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Rookiesmama
Kate,
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my dog, Rookie, on 7/20 and sometimes I still can't believe it's real. It sounds like Bubba beat the odds many times and it's easy to see how loved he was. I absolutely LOVE the picture of him with the tennis ball!!
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ksfrick
Thank you Rookiesmama - I so appreciate it.  This is so hard and it helps to hear from those who "get it".  I am so sorry about Rookie.   A thought I had is one of the hardest parts of losing a pet is knowing the relationship could never be completely reciprocal.  Pets always give us more than we could ever give them.  
Bubba's Mom
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Millie18
Bubba's mom

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. What an amazing and special boy he was.

It's so hard to let them go regardless of whether the transition went smoothly or not. Mine went quickly and smoothly, albeit too soon for me. The hardest part is knowing that we won't be seeing them again in physical form. I still have those panic moments realizing that my Millie isn't actually here anymore.

I love the picture of him with his ball. Such a beautiful and happy boy he was.
Diana

Mom to Millie, Roman, Snoopy & step sister to O'Boy
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ksfrick
Diana - thank you for reaching out.  I know about those moments of realization - sad doesn't begin to describe it, does it?  Thank you also for being able to see how special he was.  He certainly meant the world to me.  This site is comforting because people like you understand they aren't "just a dog".  Praying Bubba and Millie are playing ball together somewhere, smiling down on us.  😉
Bubba's Mom
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Millie18
Bubba's mom

I hope that being on this site gives you comfort the way it has given me comfort. I'm not sure where I would have been without it. I'm going on week 3 and so far today only a few tears. Much more talking to my Millie and beginning to remember more about our good times together. Unfortunately, we only had a little over 3 years together before the cancer took her shockingly quickly.

I do love boxers. I haven't met a bad one yet. Usually they're very athletic and very, very goofy, which is what I love about them <3

They most definitely aren't just dogs for sure. They're an important part of our lives and a part of our families.

I wish you strength during this tough time. just think of Bubba as your new guardian angel looking over you always. I'm sending you hugs
Diana

Mom to Millie, Roman, Snoopy & step sister to O'Boy
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Chinadoll
Bubba's Mom: Your post touched my heart in so many ways. The love and companionship between Bubba and your family is beautiful. The words you wrote about Bubba is beautiful and sad at the same time, but it is clear how much Bubba changed your life and what an impact he made on the family. They are wonderful souls, all of them, and Bubba had completed his journey. As you said, he had given all he had, he fought to the end to give you time to say goodbye. Your last paragraph is so beautiful, how the story is a happy one, even in the midst of the grief, to know you had a 'special' bond, a wonderful soul, who came into your lives and gave much more than we could ever return. I often wonder if they are little angels, with a purpose, who can teach us so much more than any human could. To have this 'gift', to be allowed to share in this moment, a lifelong lesson of love. My little angels changed me in a way no one else could ever do, I am eternally grateful I was able to experience this kind of love and bond even once in my lifetime. What a blessing Bubba is to you and to your loved ones. I'm so thankful you came here to share a moment of Bubba's life with us, it honors him and it humbles us. Blessings to you. You will be together again one day.
Charlie
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Millie18
Bubba's mom

Millie was never good with the ball, so she'd probably give it to Bubba. If he's interested in catching birds Mill can teach him how. My tree rats been running rampant leaving me explosions of rotten lemons every morning, knowing that Mill isn't around to keep them in check : )
Diana

Mom to Millie, Roman, Snoopy & step sister to O'Boy
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ksfrick
Charlie:

Thank you for your words.  I am not sure why it means so much to me to hear you and others can see the specialness of my Bubba and our relationship.  Thank you for understanding my pain, his journey and  for sharing this journey (but I am so sorry you are).

Bubba's Mom
Bubba's Mom
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MAlcindor
Bubba's mom, I am so sorry for your loss. Everyone here knows the pain you are going through all too well as we have all lost our four legged babies. It means a lot to have others understand and relate to your pain and the loss you feel because it validates your feelings as being legitimate. We love them with all our hearts and when they leave us our hearts are shattered and the love we have for them has nowhere to go. I am sorry you are going through this.
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ksfrick
" The love we have for them has no where to go". That's beautiful and speaks perfectly to how I feel. Thank you
Bubba's Mom
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Valley_hughes
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my baby yesterday. He did look very peaceful when they sedated him but I lost my mind after he passed. It is a pain I have never experienced before and I truly wish I could hug you right now.
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ksfrick
Valley Hughes - I'll take that virtual hug.  😉   The finality of when he passed is still with me.  Walking out of that room knowing I would never see his body again was awful.  After he died, I curled up on the floor with him and "spooned" the way we did when he was alive.  He was still warm and it is my last memory of him - I wanted it that way.   I'm so sorry you too had to feel this pain.  I'd go through it all again to have all the love and memories he gave me.  When I think of how close I was to not getting Bubba (I had experienced losing my 3 dogs in a traumatic way and not sure I could ever have a pet again) I shudder.  My life was better and I know his was too because we had each other.  I hope you can hold onto that thought.  
Bubba's Mom
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Tankie12
Kate how wonderfully put. We are so much better for having them and our grief is an expression of how deep the love and bond will always be. I wouldn’t trade one for the other, ever. Sending you much comfort,,,,,
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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