LinLee1947
Here is my story.   6 years ago I got a boy boxer pup and I fell in love the minute he was put in my arms.   About a year later, my son moved out, a few months later my husband died and a couple months after that my daughter moved south.   My boy was all I had left.  We were family.

He was perfect in the house and perfect in the car and perfect on walks.  He was good and well behaved when I took him visiting.  He walked the property boundries but not into the road.

However.  I let him out to pee and a few minutes later he came charging into the house as he was hit by a car.  Someone swerved?  Texting?  The emergency vet couldn't save him.  He made the decisions for me.

This happened over a month ago and I am still in a terrible state.  He was my everything.   I am dealing with feeling alone in the house, guilt because I let him out, taking a chance, missing him so terribly and hoping to God he was in such a state of shock he wasn't in agony.

I cry, I pray to heal, I stamp my feet and cry again.   I want so much to believe in the Rainbow bridge.

Friends say get another dog but right now my guilt makes me feel undeserving.

So my friends.  I am now here.    I am hoping some words of comfort will come.    Thank you for listening.
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BrianG
Hello LinLee

   Pet owners know how you feel, Its a very tough time you are going thur, Remember how much love you gave him, You took him in and gave him a wonderful home.  I hope you can find Peace.   Hang in there.



Brian
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lostlittleboy
You probably did something that you've done lots of times before; there's no blame or guilt, it was an accident.

I lost my boy 3 weeks ago when the children took him on a walk he'd done over a thousand times before - he chased a rabbit, and hit a fence at speed.

I've searched for a reason, what chain of events was taken to cause it, and I can find no logic or sense in what happened.  It could have happened if I was there or he escaped, a year earlier or years later, on a cloudy day or in the snow.

Try to take it one day at a time - your health is important, he wouldn't have wanted you to be ill, especially if he sends you a friend to look after, in the form of another dog - when you're ready.

I found it helps to write a letter to him - this forum helps too, and talking about it to friends and family who knew him can add to your memories, because they have a different perspective that they can share.

Eventually, the funny things he did will make you laugh again...
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LinLee1947
I went to the store today and purchased a helium balloon.  Came home and wrote him a letter, attached it to the balloon and went out into the field he like to run in and released it.   I think this helped me, saying goodbye and telling him I am sorry I couldn't save him and that I loved him so much.    Thank you both for your support.
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LinLee1947
Does anyone have any more "magic words" for me?   
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Chantelle
I have no magic words for you but im not sure that there are any.. All i can say is please dont blame yourself... tragedies happen and unfortunately for your dear boy he was taken way too soon... you loved him and he knew it... when we lose our best friends nothing takes away that pain... but your memories and the happiness you gave him and he gave you should make you smile... your memories can never be taken from you <3.... i may try out the balloon technique...one day... my beautiful boy left me yesterday and the pain feels unbearable... i just cant believe i let him go... i too want to believe in rainbow bridge but at the moment i dont know what to think... i can only hope hell be waiting for me when my time comes as will your boy xx
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Tommyhunter123
There are no words to describe our pet losses and best friends. I am sorry for your loss. I lost my Luckydog beagle 10 weeks ago tommorow at times it gets easier as each day passes and at times its not easy. I am in the same boat as you I spend my days alone now. Its hard and I will keep you in my prayers all fur friends are in my prayers. Why God gives us pets, to learn from them I guess, but why does he take them away? Cry when you need to stop pound whatever to get the feelings of hurt out. We all home it gets better for you in time. 
David Gaspari
Luckydogs Daddy
David R. Gaspari
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LinLee1947
Thank you.   I really don't think I can go through this again with another fur baby.  I am going on 69 and also have to think of a new pet could very well outlive ME.   I keep telling myself the right dog and the right situation will come my way.    Maybe someone is ill and I can offer his or her pet a new home?   Maybe some day I won't need to have a companion?    Why do I doubt that.    You can see I am suffering from many emotions.  Guilt from not protecting him, lonliness and wondering about the future.
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Chantelle
Im hopeful that one day linlee the guilt will be gone replaced by only happy memories and some comfort.. for now thats not the case for me but one day hopefully... i have said i cant own another dog again which people tell me will change in time but i cant see how.. we will see... please dont feel lonely im always here if you need to talk xx big hugs 
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LinLee1947
Thank you, Chantelle.    I get so sad I make myself sick.    I guess I am better but a long long way to go.    All of us will just have to lean on each other until we feel a little better.  Hugs to you all.
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mandys_mommy
LinLee,
I love the idea about the balloon. I will do this for my Mandy who sadly passed away on 10/2 of this year.
I also only had her for six years. She was 12 and died of kidney failure. I wonder every day, and feel so guilty because she did not like the special k/d diet and it became a matter of getting her to eat anything.
I was very depressed and sad, stopped living. Five weeks after she passed i came across a dog rescue site and saw a nine month old Cocker Spaniel that needed a home. I wasn t sure that i was ready, but here she is, she helps me. We go for walks together. she goes to doggy daycare while i am at work, she has so much energy. I talk to her about Mandy. She gives me a reason to smile again. Mandy lives on in my heart, i also wrote her a letter with all the memories. I talked to co workers who have pets, they can relate. I bought a locket and inserted her photo and furclipping. I light a candle for her every night. I sorted her photos and went to the drugstore to print. Bought picture frames for my cubicle at work and also at home. I will forever regret that Mandy did not have any more years to live and will always wonder whether i truly did enough for her. For me, having Sadie helps me, bur we all grief differently. Wishing you much strenght and peace in your heart.
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camunki
hi LinLee, I am sorry for the tragic loss of your boxer. I am happy that you sent the balloon with a note up into the sky, that was a beautiful thing. Please do not let "guilt" overtake your feelings, you gave your boxer so much love and he knows that. Now for the time of grieving, its a long hard road, i cried for 8 months straight when i lost my baby back on Jan 2, of this year, then recently on 12/3/15 i lost my other baby and am reliving the grief the agony of 2 of my dogs/babies gone in one year. 

And the Rainbow Bridge is where all pets go, their bodies are renewed, they play, they run, they watch over their owners...........and thats what your Boxer is doing, he is your Angel above.

Sending you (((hugs)) and support

Cam


 
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LinLee1947
Thank you all for your kind words. Really. I don't know what I would have done without the understanding of the pet owners in this forum. Hugs to you all.
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LinLee1947
Well its over two months now and although I don't cry 3-4 times a day now, the incredible sadness and emptiness is always there.   Dog commercials on tv, people walking dogs wherever I go, friends with dogs.      The guilt persists although no longer consuming my entire thoughts.    Am I worthy of getting another dog?   Will it "get out " on me and either run away or get hit?   Take a chance????     Like I said, Bronson and I were a family and I loved him so so much.   I'm rambling in the wee hours of the morning.  Thanks for listening.
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