lucianafv27
Hello, I'm searching for advice or something, I don't know what I'm feeling or what to do.
My dog, Toto, died yesterday. He was almost 12 years old and had been with me since I was 11. 
Today is my birthday and he's not here. Yesterday, everything happened so fast. 
A couple weeks ago he was diagnosed with nasal cancer, we were waiting for his appointment (it was today) and we knew there wasn't much to do but we still had hope.
I returned from work and saw him, he seemed tired so I spent 30 minutes talking to him and  hugging him, a couple hours later I took him for a walk and he started to walk like he was dizzy and out of nowhere felt to the floor after sneezing, he couldn't stand up. I call my parents and Toto started to have a seizure, we took him to the vet, and they said that the tumor had spread to his brain, there wasn't a chance of cure now. The vets said they could control his attack but it would eventually start happening again (probably in a matter of hours), and would get worse and worse.
Eventually Toto was calmed but when he tried to walk he fell again.
We had two choices, treat him and control his attack for a few hours or put him to sleep. 
We decided that the second one was the best choice, we are not always home and since it was clear that the attacks would get worse and more concurrent, we were scared that they could happened when Toto was alone. 
We stayed beside him.

Later some friends and my boyfriend went to my house and tried to cheer me up.
My mom hasn't stopped crying, my dad teared up a bit (it's the first time I'm seeing him like this) and well, I couldn't sleep nor stop crying.
So, like I said, today is my birthday, he's not here and honestly I'm devastated, I don't understand how everything happened so suddenly. I want to hug him again, walk with him, I want him back and I feel like this sadness is gonna stay forever. Everything that I do reminds me of him somehow and I tried talking to the place where he liked to sleep, but I can't stop crying, I don't know what to do, he was my best friend and has stayed with me through ups and downs. I'm truly heartbroken.
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Kittypiller
Im so sorry for your loss. I believe you did what was best for your baby. You are grieving for him and it is perfectly normal. Its really hard to accept when you loose a beloved pet and it does take time to learn to axcept and deal with him not being there. There are a lot of good people on here that are here to help and understand what you are going through. I am here anytime you need or want to chat. I recently lost my fur baby that was only 4 1/2 years old to cancer and kidney failure on dec 21, 2017 and understand what you are going through. Feel free to message me anytime day or night and I will try my best to help in any way I can. Sending big hugs to you. You will get through this it just takes time.
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lucianafv27
Kittypiller wrote:
Im so sorry for your loss. I believe you did what was best for your baby. You are grieving for him and it is perfectly normal. Its really hard to accept when you loose a beloved pet and it does take time to learn to axcept and deal with him not being there. There are a lot of good people on here that are here to help and understand what you are going through. I am here anytime you need or want to chat. I recently lost my fur baby that was only 4 1/2 years old to cancer and kidney failure on dec 21, 2017 and understand what you are going through. Feel free to message me anytime day or night and I will try my best to help in any way I can. Sending big hugs to you. You will get through this it just takes time.


Thank you so much for your kind words, I’ll talk to you through message. I’m sorry for your loss as well.
I really don’t know what to do, I’ve been crying all day and I couldn’t even eat without getting nauseous, I just want him back
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Rosanne777
It is good that you can
cry.  Crying helps us when
it comes to easing the pain
and grief that we feel when
we lose a Beloved pet.

In my prayers.

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lucianafv27
Rosanne777 wrote:
It is good that you can
cry.  Crying helps us when
it comes to easing the pain
and grief that we feel when
we lose a Beloved pet.

In my prayers.



That you for your words, right now I feel numb. I don’t want to leave my bed and I can’t even eat :/
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Lamont
It will take time, maybe a lot of time. Try to remember that as your best friend, he's hoping you will be able to remember that he loves you, too. I tell myself that when I feel to sad to feel anything but how much I miss my best friend. It only helps some of the time, since I am still in a bit of shock right now, but that is what they want for us, to happy again.

Hang in there.

L
Bertie's Daddy
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lucianafv27
Lamont wrote:
It will take time, maybe a lot of time. Try to remember that as your best friend, he's hoping you will be able to remember that he loves you, too. I tell myself that when I feel to sad to feel anything but how much I miss my best friend. It only helps some of the time, since I am still in a bit of shock right now, but that is what they want for us, to happy again.

Hang in there.

L


You are very right, they always made us happy and in their honor we should try to be happy, even if we only have our memories to hold on to.
I’m still in shock as well, I’m scared of staying home because toto is not longer here, and I’m also scared of forgetting his scent or how it felt hugging him. I hope I can get over the sadness and just keep the good memories and happiness that my little one brought me.
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catiebee
I'm so sorry for your pain. It takes real time to process things and to start to feel better, Luciana. The shock feelings seem to last a long time, too.

Hope your weekend goes as well as possible. Wishing you much comfort!
Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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lucianafv27
Thank you for your kind words Catie, I really appreciate how everyone takes time to answer, it helps me a lot. 
The shock is still there, but I try remembering the happy memories with Toto and I feel like he still is taking care of me somehow.
I wish you the best and I send you a hug.  
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