binxer
I lost my best pal Binx a few days ago and I've never felt this type of paint and loss before. He was a rambunctious black handsome kitty who was the life of the party in our house and the neighborhood. 

A few nights ago, I heard a man screaming "Let it go! Let it go!" along with the sound of dog barks and cat screaches in my front yard. I saw the man from a window pulling the dog away and I ran outside. Instead of talking to the man and asking what happend my instinct was to go after Binx who ran in the back yard to see if he was okay. I couldn't tell which bush he ran into so I decided to go back in the front to talk to the man with the dog. I saw the man and the dog turn the corner running away. I still don't understand why they were running and that image still is fresh in my mind. A few minutes later we heard Binx crying from our neighbors rooftop in pain and from that point on I knew the fate of my dear pal. The amazing part is that he hobbled his way down the roof and to our shared fence so that I could pick him and bring him inside to safety. 

Binx spent the past 3 days in the hospital fighting for his life on pain medication, two blood transfusions, and dealing with multiple ultrasounds that confirmed that his kidneys had been damaged too much and he was in the final stages of kidney failure. We made the decision to put him down on August 8th and we held him as he drifted off at 5:09pm that day. 

I think I'm going through the multiple stages of loss everyday starting the day with longing and sadness, then to anger, then to frustration, then to denial, and back to longing and crying at night. All I want to do is look at pictures of him and imagine he's back with me. I miss his cuddles, stretches, silliness, gusto for life. 

I understand that these are animals and they are naturally defensive creatures but I can't help but be so angry with that owner for not waiting to see how Binx was after the fight. Why would you just run off like that? I can't get over that. I know that this frustration won't bring back Binx though. 

I'm trying to keep my head up and surround myself with my supportive friends and family but it's so difficult. I'm wondering if any of you have any helpful tips and steps that have helped you see past the grief? I imagine time is essential but it's hard to accept that when the pain and sadness is so strong. I miss him so much. 

I'm so happy this board exists. You all seem like such lovely people with big hearts. 

A



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Rockys_Mommy
I am so sorry for your loss! We lost our dog Rocky on the 8th as well. :( 

{{Hugs}}....the pain is awful. Sometimes I want to go to sleep and not wake up.
Kim
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Emma
I am sooo sorry Binxer. What a heart breaking story.

I cycle through those emotions in about the same order too. I lost my cat Sydney on August 7th. I knew I was going to have a hard time, but I didn't realize just how awful and gut wrenching this pain was going to be. But then again, this has been the first time I have had to put a beloved friend to rest.

My thoughts and heart are with you. Keep reading the different postings on here. A lot of what people have written have helped me heal a great deal. I think that in your situation though, you experienced something traumatic that will be etched in your mind for a little while. Be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to process this loss in whatever time frame you need to work this out.
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binxer
Thanks guys, it really helps. 

I'm debating if we should pick up his ashes tonight since they're ready. The thought of him in a little jar makes me incredibly sad. I can't tell if having him with us will make it feel better or worse... 

XO
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jdavis515
Many people find comfort in having their baby home with them. I am still struggling with seeing the urn. It makes it all so final. Sometimes I can almost convince myself she is just lying in the other room or on the other side of the bed or couch and I just can't see her. But when I see the urn, it is a punch in the chest that she is really gone.

I would say though, after reading this forum for the last couple of weeks, most people find comfort in bringing their babies home. I am just not adjusting well to the new normal.

Jeanine
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smkovalinsky
I am so sorry you lost your precious kitty in such a terrible manner.  How traumatic for you.  My heart goes out to you.
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binxer
Thanks everyone. My husband and I went and got his ashes last night and then went for margaritas to try to laugh and ease the sadness a bit :) His ashes were inside a sweet little tin with a floral print which couldn't have been a better choice for Binx. We also got the paw prints and locks of fur which was actually harder to see than the little tin of ashes. I made a little space for him on the shelf where he'll now be sitting pretty with us forever. I have to say I was worried that seeing the urn would make me feel worse but it actually makes me feel a little lighter since his "energy" is more present. 

I think with a healthy dose of friends, family and tears I'll be able to move on and honor my sweet boy in the way I know he would have wanted. I'll forever miss him and hope to love another furry friend in need just as much as I did him. 

Thank you for all of the sweet replies <3 It's comforting to know that Rocky, Sydney, and your adorable pup Jeanine were so loved and will be missed in the same way I'll miss my buddy. 

XO 
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Scottdadtothehoney
My heart breaks for you. What a trauma. I brought home the ashes and clay paw prints of my kitty The Honey too last week. It was hard,but I feel she is in a place of honor. Our babies know they were loved.
Scott G
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