ahammond
Today I had to watch my best friend take her last breath. Her name was Molly, she was a Yorkshire terrier who was 9 years old. She suddenly deteriorated since Wednesday, she was vomiting a lot and I took her to the vets who said she had a stomach bug and sent her home with anti-sickness. Yesterday I called them again because she didn’t seem to be getting better (although not deteriorating) and they reassured me that after you have a stomach bug you tend to feel a bit low. We woke up this morning to her digging holes and hiding in the garden, which is when we knew something was wrong. It turned out she had kidney failure due to unknown diabetes and her glucose levels had risen sky high. I feel so guilty that I didn’t know, she’s been off-ish the last week and I put it down to the weather being hot and her feeling a bit rough. I now think back to the way she looked at me, almost as if she was asking for help. I think back to how thirsty she has been recently, and how I should have known that’s a sign of diabetes. I am so lost, we said goodbye to her at 12:06pm today and I’ve not stopped crying since. We have 2 other dogs (one being her puppy and the other is the father of the puppy, although he’s not a puppy anymore as he is 7!) I feel myself starting to resent them, because Molly was so loving, so well behaved, so caring, gentle and intelligent and I just can’t understand why we lost her so quickly. I feel sick, I haven’t eaten and I don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve lost my baby, my best friend, my cuddle buddy and family member all in one. I don’t know how to cope with this, the grief, the overwhelming sadness. I have people around me who are very supportive, and are also grieving, but I still feel so alone and like I don’t know what to do. I miss her so so much and I don’t know how this will get better. I’m picturing her lying there lifeless and her little face when she passed, I can’t bear it. My poor baby girl.
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jamierye
Hi there,

I’m so sorry for your loss, and i want you to know how much I relate. My baby had kidney failure and we just found out today that it was so severe we needed to euthanize him as soon as possible. He took a turn for the worse about 2 weeks ago when he stopped showing interest in anything, and then again last night when he woke up in pain and couldn’t move much until his vet appointment today at 3. It all happened so suddenly and I can’t help but feel some guilt like could we have done something, did we let him suffer for too long, or did we not give him enough time? I can’t fathom this loss and I feel like no one (other than those on this forum with such deep bonds) understands how terrible this is. I can’t even breathe. He was my everything and I actually don’t know how I’ll live without him. I’m thinking of you and I’m in this with you. 
Jamie
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ahammond
Hi, 
I’m so sorry about your baby. The feelings of guilt you feel are exactly how I feel, I can’t help but wonder whether I should have spotted the signs earlier, or if I should have just ignored what the vets said and demanded blood tests etc because I knew she wasn’t right. I feel so sad that she was so loving and I let her down, and now she is gone. It is such a terrible pain. I am thinking of you, and I hope we can get through this.
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