eproe71
Blacky was my cat.  My best friend.  He was a stray who found his way to our house.  He was skinny and injured when we found him.  I brought him to the vet and nursed him back to health.  Blacky was with us for 4 years.  He never wanted to stay inside.  He always had the call of the wild.  On Monday night, I fed him his dinner, gave him a few treats and patted him on his head.  I told him he was a good cat.  I let him outside in the early evening as I usually do, expecting him to return after an hour or so of doing "Cat things".  He never returned.  The next morning I looked all over for him- eventually finding him at the curb.  He was struck by a car.
I am devastated.  I feel lost.  i feel I let my best friend down.  I can't stop sensing his presence when the wind blows.  I look up to the sky feeling the sun on my face.  I miss my friend dearly and don't know what to do.  I am in pain.  can't stop crying. blacky.jpg 
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Gabriel13
Blacky knew that you loved him.  He needed to be outside where he was happiest.  You really didn't fail him.  Your grief is observable proof that you cared deeply for him.  We cannot be so hard on ourselves as pet parents - i.e. hold ourselves to a standard of perfection that is impossible to live up to. 

By all means miss and grieve for Blacky.  But also remember that his unfortunate passing is not your fault.  God loves you and so did Blacky. 
Chad Garrison
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anniesdad
I have an outside cat and an inside cat.  You did not fail him.  You took him in when he was in desperate need and gave him love - that is the greatest gift.  It's not something I like to think about, but I know my outside cat faces dangers that my inside cat does not.  But I also know that having that freedom is just part of who he is and its the life he loves.  Tragedy can strike in different ways for cats - inside OR outside.  Don't blame yourself because you didn't do anything wrong.  I wish you peace. I know it is so hard.
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Snowfire
Gorgeous cat and darn his color didn't help at night. For a car that is. I slow down at night because of people and animals. Black cats are special and I've read smarter and more loving. I had a couple but mostly tabbies. Sorry this happened. One of ours was hit long time ago. Think a stray too as seemed most of ours was. Had a friend who died right around Christmas who had a few that others left behind. One he called pumpkin that was his favorite and strictly outdoor cat.
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eproe71
Gabriel13 wrote:
Blacky knew that you loved him.  He needed to be outside where he was happiest.  You really didn't fail him.  Your grief is observable proof that you cared deeply for him.  We cannot be so hard on ourselves as pet parents - i.e. hold ourselves to a standard of perfection that is impossible to live up to. 

By all means miss and grieve for Blacky.  But also remember that his unfortunate passing is not your fault.  God loves you and so did Blacky. 
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eproe71
Thank you for the kind words.  This forum is helping me cope.  It gets a little better each day, then I relapse for a moment.  But, each day seems to get better.
Blacky was an amazing cat.  He had a personality I've never seen before in an animal.  I think the part that hits me the most is how he chose me, not the other way around.
Is it possible that I am feeling his presence?  Or am I  crazy?

Ed
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