Boomboom
I had an 11 yo boxer named Boomer & I had to let him go Fri morning. I had been crying for over a month cus I knew the time was coming, but as always he'd lick my tears away. He had arthritis & something do w his spine that would eventually not let him get up one day. He always ate , never whined , still looking thru the fence for me to get home then shoot thru that dog door to meet me . he's the 1st dog of my own & he truly was & is my best friend. He lived for me & vice versa. He started I've last few months to drag his paws in the back when he walked & eventually started to stand on his hocks. He'd been on meds & he never seemed to be hurting. So thurs I cone home & we go out in the field out back in he starts getting real spunky like a puppy and just starts running around jumping around like I haven't seen him do in a long time. I was really happy for him. Then we came in and he was huffing and puffing and it would not stop. He was bug eyed ,eyes watering, ears pinned back ,nose running, heart racing...couldn't he him to lay down & when he did he'd get rt back up. I already have planned on taking him to the vet Friday morning. So we both fell asleep we wake up and he seems back to normal. We go to the vet and of course like every dog he's panting and don't want to be in there and wants to go home. I've tell the vet about the night before and then she looked at the way he was standing and said he was hurting. She said that the night before he could not get comfortable laying down or standing up so I should think about doing the unthinkable. She left us alone for about 10 minutes to figure out what I wanted to do so I had a heart-to-heart with him like I've done so many times and told him I was sorry and I hope he forgive me. But my whole plan was to one day soon just have someone come to the house and do it in peace and quiet. I didn't want to do it while he was so stressed out and just wanting to go home waiting for me to get him out of there like I always do. So I decided to do it because I said there's no guarantee that he would come down if he got home and he would still be hurting. So they took him back put a catheter in him and gave him a sedative. He came back still wanting to go home so I sat on the floor on the blanket and pull them to me and told him just calm down buddy. And it started a kicked-in he calm down and right before he fell asleep he licked me three times as we were laying on the ground. And as he went to sleep the vet gave me the other medicine that would take him home. I whispered in his ear the whole time tell him how much I loved him how much I'm going to miss him and how my world will never ever be the same without him. Now I know he was hurting and a 99.9% sure I did the right thing but what bothers me is that he was so stressed out and just wanted to go home and I didn't take him home. I didn't want to do it while he was so stressed out. I feel like I let him down in a way & I hope more then anything that those last 3 licks was to me that he loved me & it was ok what I was doing. I don't regret anything about anything I did it never did for him. He lived like a king his entire life, those last few moments are what gets to me & I feel horrible for not getting him outa there. I'm so lost w out him as he's been my constant rock for the last 11 yrs , especially during to breakups but losing him is by far the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. Idk what to do w myself. I feel like I'm wandering around aimlessly. There's a hole in my soul & I jus wana bury my head & cry but I have nothing to bury it in cud he was always there for me to bury it in. Like I said he a a AWESOME life but its just those last few min that eat at me...any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
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Bailey15
I am so sorry for your loss. Boomer sounds like an amazing companion and "best friend". It it helps, I think you made the absolute right decision to take his pain away and let him go home. From everything you have described it sounds like he really was suffering. Being there with him and whispering in his ear as he crossed over would have been so, so comforting to him. I think the 3 licks were to let you know he loved you for the wonderful life and love you gave him and also to let you know that everything was okay. He didn't want you worrying. Animals are so intuitive that way. You put his needs first so please pat yourself on the back for that. I know from experience that this is the hardest part: having to live without him.

I found that it helped me to write in a journal. I wrote down everything I didn't want to forget about my little guy, Bailey; nicknames we'd given him over the years, special times we had together, little poems that reminded me of him. I would write to him and date each entry and when I look back now, I see a journal of healing. I also have a Memory box with his collar, favourite toy and other special things. It's been over 2 years since we let Bailey go and I wouldn't say that things get better but it does get easier. I know right now though you will need to mourn your beloved Boomer.
Please post again. We all understand the terrible pain you are feeling.
Hugs and prayers,
MJ
I just edited to say what a handsome looking boy Boomer was! Thank you for sharing your story and these beautiful pictures!!
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Nellysmom
I am so sorry for your loss. Your story of Boomer’s final moments spoke to me. Those three licks meant he knew you were there with him and he loved you so much. I wanted my sweet Nelly to pass at home because she, too, was scared of the vet. Unfortunately she was staying overnight in the hospital and I got the call she wasn’t going to make it through the night. I have so much guilt that she was in the hospital for the last 2.5 days of her life. Boomer knew you were there with him and never left him. I share in your overwhelming grief.
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Boomboom
Thank you so much that means everything to me. Like I said its just the last few minutes when he just wanted me to get him outa there that gets to me ...but if he hadn't have kissed me 3x rt before I would be an even bigger mess. . On top of that he had a sister named cotton that belonged to my buddy & they've never been apart their while lives...she stayed w boomer & me alot & she had the same thing & I had to put her down the Friday before & that that hurt to. So I'm hoping they are together
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Mackysmum
I'm very sorry for your loss of boomer
I believe those 3 licks were his way off saying its ok to you that he loved you , god they are so special .
Don't feel bad you took boomers pain away its the hardest decision choose to end there suffering but when thry go ours starts .
He's in peace now no pain and he knew 100 percent how much you loved him right till the end those 3 licks said it all
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Bailey15
Oh, Cotton is beautiful! 💗 What a wonderful pair they were - and still are!! I do think they are happily reunited but of course both missing you. They will be looking out after you now.
I read in your post that "he lived like a King his entire life." That is what you need to hold on to - you gave Boomer such a wonderful life and so many dogs are not that fortunate. I know it doesn't stop you from missing him so, so much but in time you will take comfort from the love and happiness you gave to your precious Boomer!
Sending hugs,
MJ
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Boomboom
Yes she was. She actually belonged to my buddy . his aunt gave him cotton for his bday when she was 7wks old. A wk later I rode out there w him. I was thinking about getting a dog cus I just bought my house & my old roommate wouldn't let me take the chocolate lab so I was kinda looking for one of them or a Rottweiler. But as soon as I opened the truck door there was a little boxer pup staring up at me like he was waiting for me to get out & pick him up. I did & we've been together ever since so he actually picked me . he was 1 of 2 left & I never understood how so many ppl passed on him. So him & cotton grew up together as pups teenagers adults & old folks. They used to love to swim at the pool & at the lake. & it was just me & boomer, I had gfs but we never lived together, always him & me. I worked alot but he had a dog door & if a storm or something came thru( I work on electricity/powerlines) he would go to cottons house. I have plenty of friends & a huge family & I'm not socially awkward but I always wanted to be at home w boomer. & he always wanted to be w me. I would take him in my work truck w me sometimes to. Working for the electric co is very demanding. Its nothing for us to work 16hrs a day sometimes 24. But no matter when I got home I would take him for a walk. His fav was the flood wall down at the river where he would just zigzag up & down them hills but he'd always stop & look back just make sure I was still there. If I wasn't in his sight his ONLY mission was to find me. He'd even pass food up to find me. Nothing could or would stop him til I was in his sight again. They both got thanksgiving plates, Xmas plates you name it. If we grilled they got their own steak, burger or whatever. Biscuits & gravy too. One time when he was 1 or so I took him somewhere & was standing in a circle talking to ppl when they all started laughing. I looked down & boomer had hiked his leg up & pee'd on me. We all decided that he was claiming his property lol. He always knew if something was bothering me & he always made me feel better. He jumped out the back of the truck when he was little cud he wanted to be up front w me & he's been riding shotgun ever since. I couldn't dream up or build a better dog. I live on a dead end street & everyone knows him & I could let him out by himself & he'd make his rounds, but, he always came back to see where I was. When I cut the backyard he laid on the back porch, when I cut the front he laid on the front porch. There's horses in the field behind the house & one day I was feeding them apples & a piece dropped & he got it. So every time I gave the horses a piece I had to cut him one to. Sometimes he would run up & down the fence w the horses. He loved to run!!! & one time we were at the lake & we couldn't take them on the boat so we put them in a 10x10x6 pin. We got down to the boat & guess who's running down the hill? Boomer & Cotton.they climbed out of that pin. They both were amazing dogs & I feel so lucky to have them in my life. As bad as it hurts, thinking of the good times helps, I think.
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