kandreozzi
Today I lost my best friend Diego. He passed at 5:30 this morning. He was a devoted loving companion. He adopted our family 10 years ago on a hot summer day when we lived in Spain. He gave us unconditional love and only asked for belly rubs and a daily walk. Diego was also a fighter beating cancer twice. He died of pneumonia though. He was a gentle soul and everybody who met him loved him dearly. He will be sorely missed. I feel so guilty because when I dropped him off yesterday at the vet, I promised him that he would be Ok and I would see him today. When I recieved the call this morning to get to the vet now, I was too late. He passed before I got there. I feel so guilty because I didn't keep my promise to him. He wasn't Ok and I wasn't there for him to see before he passed. I am devastated and miss my best friend so much. I cannot stop crying and my heart hurts so much.  How do I deal with this guilt and pain. It hurts!! I love and miss my Bubba.
Kathy C. Andreozzi
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marcon1987
First of all, I am very sorry for your loss. It is normal to feel guilt, but you have to remember you did what you thought was right. He knew he was loved and well looked after. It will take time, but you will be able to cope. Just have to think of the happier times you had together.
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MurphysMom_0831
kandreozzi wrote:
Today I lost my best friend Diego. He passed at 5:30 this morning. He was a devoted loving companion. He adopted our family 10 years ago on a hot summer day when we lived in Spain. He gave us unconditional love and only asked for belly rubs and a daily walk. Diego was also a fighter beating cancer twice. He died of pneumonia though. He was a gentle soul and everybody who met him loved him dearly. He will be sorely missed. I feel so guilty because when I dropped him off yesterday at the vet, I promised him that he would be Ok and I would see him today. When I recieved the call this morning to get to the vet now, I was too late. He passed before I got there. I feel so guilty because I didn't keep my promise to him. He wasn't Ok and I wasn't there for him to see before he passed. I am devastated and miss my best friend so much. I cannot stop crying and my heart hurts so much.  How do I deal with this guilt and pain. It hurts!! I love and miss my Bubba.


Kathy, I'm so sorry about Diego. You had no way of knowing when you took him to the vet that this would happen, and Diego knew you loved him and also loved you unconditionally. It's even worse when we feel we couldn't keep our promise. I understand because I feel the way about my Murphy. I made the vets promise and I promised Murphy he wouldn't die in that animal hospital where he was admitted for 13 days. He was supposed to come home on day 14, but suddenly took a terrible turn day 13.  I had to rush down there before he passed on his own to spend time with him, then the vet sent him to the Rainbow Bridge as severe pain and suffering was ready to start. My heartfelt and sincere promise that I had every intention of keeping was broken. It has affected me greatly, too, as the most horrible day of my life. The vision of it all is still burned into my memory.

We were both doing what was right for our beloved babies, they just couldn't fight any longer. There was no way either of us could have known things would turn out this way. Murphy passed June 18 and it seems like yesterday. However, I am beginning to ease up on myself as far as the guilt (guilt for many reasons related to his illness and hospitalization), and trying so hard to focus on the wonderful life we had together and all the happy memories. It takes a lot of time and a lot of patience with ourselves to try and deal with all of this. Please give yourself the time you need and remember how much Diego loves you. He knows now that he's at the Rainbow Bridge that you didn't know and didn't have time to make it there, but you would have been with him in a heartbeat. He would never hold a grudge against you. Our babies are full of nothing but love. They are probably playing happily together right now.

Blessings and wishing you peace,
Murphy's Mom (Kathryn)
"Sometimes there is a dog who is so special, he is able to wrap himself so completely around your heart it is impossible to tell where you begin and he ends."  For My Beloved Murphy, 08/31/2004 - 06/18/2014


http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/MURPH121/Resident.htm


http://s327.photobucket.com/user/kathrynbrown1626/library/?sort=6&page=1
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kandreozzi
Dear Kathryn:

Thank you for your kind words of comfort. They help alot. This has been one of the most difficult things I have ever been through. Diego and I fought his cancer, alicka, and pancreatitus for two years. He was such a strong determined dog with a will and fight to live that I never thought he'd win the battle over this too. I know he is in a happy place playing with other friends of his who have passed before him. It just hurts so bad and I expect to see him laying on his dog bed in the corner or hear him jingle his dog tags which he did when he wanted attention. I know it will get better but right now it hurts so much. I too am sorry for your loss of Murphy and will pray for you as well. 

Kathy
Kathy C. Andreozzi
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MurphysMom_0831
kandreozzi wrote:
Dear Kathryn:

Thank you for your kind words of comfort. They help alot. This has been one of the most difficult things I have ever been through. Diego and I fought his cancer, alicka, and pancreatitus for two years. He was such a strong determined dog with a will and fight to live that I never thought he'd win the battle over this too. I know he is in a happy place playing with other friends of his who have passed before him. It just hurts so bad and I expect to see him laying on his dog bed in the corner or hear him jingle his dog tags which he did when he wanted attention. I know it will get better but right now it hurts so much. I too am sorry for your loss of Murphy and will pray for you as well. 

Kathy


I completely understand how you are feeling. Murphy fought Addison's disease for 3 years, and the surgery on June 12 revealed it was pancreatitis and then kidney failure as a result which ended his life on June 18. I thought sure he'd win this fight, too. He always wanted nothing more than to be at home with Momma. I miss hearing his tags jingle, his nails clicking on the floor, his puppy bark when he wanted attention and his big dog bark to alert me someone was outside. I know in my heart he's in a happy place with all sorts of new friends to play with, but missing him so much is overwhelming. Even though it's already been 5-1/2 weeks since he passed and 51 days since he went into the hospital, it seems like yesterday. I smell his scent very frequently around the house and look to see if he's up on the couch every so often before remembering. I still can't believe all this even happened.

Some days are better than others, but it will take a very long time to heal the holes in our hearts. They'll never be filled, but hopefully the scars will be a little less painful.

Blessings,
Murphy's Mom (Kathryn)
"Sometimes there is a dog who is so special, he is able to wrap himself so completely around your heart it is impossible to tell where you begin and he ends."  For My Beloved Murphy, 08/31/2004 - 06/18/2014


http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/MURPH121/Resident.htm


http://s327.photobucket.com/user/kathrynbrown1626/library/?sort=6&page=1
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kandreozzi
Yes, i too keep looking for Diego in his usual spots around the house or expect to hear him jingle his dog tags for attention. We had a bad storm last night and Diego was very afraid of storms. I always had to hold his head and tell him that it was Ok. Well, last night I couldn't do that. Instead I just cried! As much as it was annoying to have him deal with storms, I'd of gladly given anything to have that annoyance last night instead of the silence! Today has been a little better until I see or hear something that reminds me of him. I too know in my heart that he is happy and playing in heaven I still want to see his smiling face again. I am taking some comfort in this website and the fact that so many of my friends and people who loved Diego are posting memories and pictures of him on facebook. I believe that yesterday could've been labled Diego day.
Kathy C. Andreozzi
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MurphysMom_0831
kandreozzi wrote:
Yes, i too keep looking for Diego in his usual spots around the house or expect to hear him jingle his dog tags for attention. We had a bad storm last night and Diego was very afraid of storms. I always had to hold his head and tell him that it was Ok. Well, last night I couldn't do that. Instead I just cried! As much as it was annoying to have him deal with storms, I'd of gladly given anything to have that annoyance last night instead of the silence! Today has been a little better until I see or hear something that reminds me of him. I too know in my heart that he is happy and playing in heaven I still want to see his smiling face again. I am taking some comfort in this website and the fact that so many of my friends and people who loved Diego are posting memories and pictures of him on facebook. I believe that yesterday could've been labled Diego day.


All the reminders of them are blessings but difficult at the same time, at least for me. I have my favorite photo of Murphy framed and sitting on top of the TV, straight across from the couch. I look at it so often and feel the love on his face in the photo as well as my grief at him not being here. My heart hurts from missing him so much, and I want him again, too.

How nice for your friends to honor Diego on Facebook. I'm not on there so I did the Rainbow Residency here on this site, and the comments and sympathy cards I've received are so lovely. It's good to have our babies remembered. They shall never be forgotten.

Blessings,
Murphy's Mom (Kathryn)
"Sometimes there is a dog who is so special, he is able to wrap himself so completely around your heart it is impossible to tell where you begin and he ends."  For My Beloved Murphy, 08/31/2004 - 06/18/2014


http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/MURPH121/Resident.htm


http://s327.photobucket.com/user/kathrynbrown1626/library/?sort=6&page=1
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kandreozzi
I am in the process of making a photo collage memory to hang on my wall of Diego. I will place it over where he laid in my family room. We also had him cremated and I have reserved a special spot on my shelf in my family room. I too have found comfort in the sympathy cards and words of kindness and encouragement from this website. It is a God send for me and my family, We are also honoring Diego tonight at the candlelight service.

Kathy C. Andreozzi
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