ZoeyBelle
Hi all. I’ve been visiting this forum off and on since March when my sweet Aussie Zoey passed from cancer at 8. We were devastated as it came on quick and she’d always been a healthy girl. I still cry for her everyday. We were glad to still have her “sissy” Bella who turned 10 in July, a chihuahua. Bella had diabetes but we’d been controlling it nicely for almost 5 years. She got sick 4 days ago and spiraled into kidney failure. We had her at three different vets trying to save her or at least ease her pain. Yesterday evening she went to meet her sissy Zoey at Rainbow Bridge with the help of a kind vet. We are in terrible grief. They were our joy and loves and lives and now they both are gone in less than six months. Bella was my shadow. She even followed me into the bathroom. My heart goes out to all of you. This is awful. I don’t want to do anything. I keep thinking I’m hearing her walking around and when I woke up from the little sleep I got, she wasn’t next to me. Thank you to anyone who reads.
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Delphidogmom
I totally understand.  I have one left.  I lost 2 in March and one in August.  All is just grey, there's no color.  Live day to day for my one sweet girl  When she is gone, I will be done.  Have buried my husband and 15 other dogs over the last 20 years, end of the line.

Maggie
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Jan_H
I am very sorry for your loss of sweet Zoey and and her sweet "sister" Bella. Clearly you loved them very much and took wonderful care of them. Managing diabetes in a pet is challenging and requires a large commitment. You did that for her and gave her another 5 happy years.

Perhaps when you hear her walking around she is trying to let you know that she is okay and that she loves you.

My condolences,
Jan
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Julls
Hi ZoeyBelle, my heart goes out to you as I know exactly the pain and tears that you are going through right now. I am 2 weeks in without my wee man and it really isn’t any easier. I’m like you, I think that I hear him in the house and look for him at the end of the sofa when I enter the room. I think the only blessing that you can take out of this is that you did absolutely EVERYTHING in your power to help to save Bella. I did exactly the same thing and try to remember that there was nothing else that I could have possibly have done. Time heals, but it’s going to take a very long time for me! Big hugs and my thoughts are with you at this really difficult time xx
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creole54
Julls - I remember thinking at 2 weeks in "Why am I not getting better?  What's wrong with me?  I can't go on this way."  But now at 5 1/2 weeks, it is indeed a lot better.  Thank God.  I still cry every day, I still 'hear' her snoring (or farting) , I still see her face at the side of my bed every night, asking, "Is it bedtime? Can I sleep with you tonight?"  But that horrible, sharp grief has been replaced with a dull, manageable longing.  Hang in there, relief will come eventually.

Teri Milbourn
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LauriP92
I am so sorry for your loss. We all understand it on this forum. The pain and grief are unbearable. I just sent my cat to the bridge on Thurs and I can barely function. If I leave the house I break down into a sobbing mess when I get home and realize he's not here. I think we just have to grieve how we feel we need to and pray that time will help us heal. Sending you a big hug
Lauri 
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ZoeyBelle
Thank you all for responding, I truly appreciate it so very much. Delph, I am so sorry for so much loss in your life. I am glad you have your little one left that you can love and take care of. Jan, thank you for the kind words. Juls I am sorry for the loss of your wee man. It’s so hard I know. Creole - I agree, the pain does dull but it never goes away. I was am still mourning Zoey. It’s very tough isn’t it. Laurie, I’m so so sorry about your sweet kitty boy. They truly are are best companions and sometimes I think they support us more than we support them in a way.

I just keep saying out loud how much I love them both, I hope they are reunited and doing ok, being looked after and they know we love them with all our hearts always. It’s hard to get out of bed.
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Julls
❤️❤️
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ZoeyBelle
Bella I wanted you to know Mommy, Daddy and your human Sis love you so much. We’ve spent the weekend crying for you and also celebrating the fact WE got to be your family. You brought so much joy to our lives. The years we got to spend with you and Zoey were the most precious years. The two of you were inseparable and there was nothing cuter than watching you be puppies together.

Baby, I’m so so sorry your last days were filed with pain and nausea. I hope the medicine helped a bit and our love even more. I hope you know we made the right choice for you. I wish I could have taken your pain myself.

Bella, your name and Zoeys names are etched on our souls for all eternity. Thank you for all you gave us sweet girlie.
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Totallylost
So sorry
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LittleLost00
I lost my baby Brad 2 days ago now and I’m feeling the same way as you. I’m still lost, angry, feeling varying levels of guilt as to what I could have done better. Right now, I’m not looking forward to anything as I know he won’t be part of it. This site is a wonderful place to pour your heart out and have people understand. It’s obvious from your post how much your fur babies meant to you; to lose one is heartbreaking, to lose two so close together....well, I can’t imagine the pain you’re experiencing.

I’m so, so sorry for each of your losses.
Keep posting here and cry when you need to, I’m told it gets better with time, though it may not seem like it in this moment.

💛

LL00
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ZoeyBelle
Thank you TotalltLost. LittleLost, I am sorry about Brad. It’s so hard isn’t it? I know what you mean about not looking forward to things. We haven’t taken a walk since we lost her. I haven’t even been able to exercise yet and I’ve been doing really good on that. It seems pointless.

I am still thinking I’m going to see her in her little spots. This morning I woke much too early and started remembering some of her little mannerisms and sweet things she did. I never could fall back asleep and now here I sit with a pit in my stomach and an empty gutted feeling again. I know the pain lessens but I just keep saying I want my dogs back. They were the glue in our family, our constant no matter how hard things got.

I just realized that except for a small bit of time right after college, I’ve had dogs in my life every single day since I was born. The silence in our home is awful. I can’t put her crate away yet although her water and food bowls are washed and put away. We didn’t keep her crated but she has a large no-door metal crate with a cozy dog bed in it, covered in a blanket she would sleep in during the day sometimes. Bella always loved having her own den. My hubby also still has her other bed under the table by his desk.

My heart goes out to all dealing with this.
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Julls
3 weeks in now and today I managed to put a lovely wee photo up of my special little man. The tears were tripping me and the pain soo soo bad. I’m not sure if this has helped or made things worse! Likewise the house is somber during the day and a huge hole just feels like it is getting bigger....

I feel each and every pain from everyone that has lost their very precious bundles of joy. I actually don’t think I could ever own another dog as I just couldn’t go through this ordeal ever again. It’s just too traumatic 😢

Big hugs to everyone xx
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