camunki
Hi, i am at such a loss, I lost my furbaby Munki, she was 13 years 10 months 3 weeks and 6 days old.....went to the vet the day after Thanksgiving (cuz i knew something was just not right) the vet did a radiograph to find "cancer" in her chest, thinking it was breast cancer. We put Munki on Kinavet (a cancer pill) which did not work, less than one week later, Munki started showing some weird signs, she was finiky eating on Monday, i had to force feed her, yet she still ate, on Tues, then Wednesday she spit her food out,and Thursday morning her breathing was really bad, i had to run her to the vet, and put her down, about 2 hours later.

This hurts alot cuz I lost my other dog Daizy less than 11 months ago, this past January, and she was only 9 years old. It took me 8 long months to stop crying and grieving, now i am having flashbacks of Daizy.....and feel this greiving will never end.

What bothers me the most, is i blame myself, cuz Munki had Radiographs back in April and May of 2015 and she had one nodule, not sure if it was cancer, and the vet said to bring her back in June or July to get retested....which i never did........and now I feel like if i got her "retested" this cancer could have been prevented b4 it spread.

I also wonder about the Rainbow Bridge, i want to feel that it is "real" but now i doubt myself and just think my pet is gone, no heartbeat, just gone. I do want to beleive that God would not do this, that he would take her soul and bring her back to her youth....as the Rainbow Bridge story goes............and i am doubting myself.


I am glad i found this site and am not alone, i just had to vent.....thank you! Cheryl









Cam


 
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Jimbo106
I'm so sorry for your loss of Munki. It sounds like this was an aggressive cancer, I doubt four months would have helped. Please be kind to yourself.

Rainbow Bridge..... I admit I was not a believer at first, but now believe that such pure love never dies, it just takes another form. Matter changes form all the time, water to ice, liquid to gas, etc. Why not the electrical impulses moving through the brain and heart? I think I will meet Jamie again, just not sure of our form.  The love will remain the same.

Kind thoughts to you tonight.

Jim
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camunki
thanks Jim, yes, i do think Munki had an aggressive cancer, and I am glad my gut instincts said to bring her to the vet
the day after Thanksgiving, so at least i was somewhat prepared for what our future held....(rather than not knowing and
suddenly just losing my baby)....I still cry every day, heck its only been 4 days, i just feel like i am reliving my pain with
losing my Daizy only 11 months ago.

I do want to believe in the Rainbow Bridge, I know God loves all creatures and would want then to be at a safe place
when their time on earth is over, just like people, we live on earth, then pass away then are sent to the heavenly skies
to live forever.....I just doubt myself alot, I don't even like saying my pet "died"...i like to say she "transistioned"...and
I like how you said ........it takes another form. I have a metal placket in my purse that says "energy does not die, I have
only changed form, I will always be with you".........i love that!! 

 thank you so much for your kind words as i am on this grieving path 

Cam


 
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vlmatt

LETTER FROM GOD

I know you are in pain with the loss of your friend

Your beloved’s soul now in My Arms to tend;

I sent him/her to you for a season of pleasure

So that you can live together forever with pleasure;

Life is the soul placed in your furry love,

Still alive and now waiting for YOU from above!

LOVE YOUR CREATOR!

We understand your pain, that's why we are here!  God Bless Your Heart, I will heal in the Hands of God.  Vicki 

Vicki Mattingly 
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MysweetNikkigirl
Cam,

I know how you feel to lose your fur baby so suddenly. I too am devastated from the loss of my Nikki. As I have heard from so many other parents, some days will be good and some not so good. I know we can get through this together and in time the tears will lessen.

Thank you for all of your kind words and support you have shown me. I really appreciate it.
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stellasMOM
Oh how blessed your Munki was to have been loved so deeply and purely! We always second guess ourselves in tough decision times. My husband and I let our Beautiful Black Lab Stella go on Monday and I keep crying thinking we could have done something more, but in reality we did what was best in our hearts. The grief is overwhelming and it feels like we will never be whole again, and in a way, every loss takes a piece of our hearts. I had asked for a sign that Stella was not "stuck" looking back for us and Monday night I dreamed (for a small second) that she and her brother Olly (who we let go October 2014) were running and playing in the snow (we live in NC, no snow) and today we received another powerful sign when I was placing her cremains near her brother's. I feel there has to be a place for these perfect souls, because they are much too precious to have ended here on this physical plane. Bless you in you journey through the grief and may we always know how much joy and love Munki, Stella , and all the furbabies bring to us humans.  ((hugs)) Stella's mom and dad 
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camunki
thank you Vicki, such a powerful letter you posted, and I have to save this one and keep re reading it...it is good to know that my baby Munki will be waiting for me........thank you so much for your kind words.

And thank you MysweetNikkigirl, and yes losing a pet suddenly really sucks...i thought for sure i'd have my Munki around for Xmas and
even her birthday which is next week........seems like she took a fast aggressive downhill battle within 4 days, too quick, too fast, too
soon to even think of what to do.......except take her pain away. And as for your Nikki, she is at peace and yes the grieving path, has its waves of emotions....thru all the daily tears, i still try to think of good positive memories of my baby.

Lastly, Stellas mom, i know the second guessing is part of my nature, along with worrying which is such a useless emotion, i have done both alot this past year. And yes, i know i did the right thing, my Munki had an aggressive cancer that spread from her chest to her nasal area, and it was a rapid aggressive cancer where she had such a hard time breathing, and once the eating stopped, i knew what had to be done......as for your Stella losing her so recently, I am sure you feel the pain..........and i want to thank you for your kind words and glad you had a quick dream of her and her brother Olly...



(((hugs to all)))

Cam


 
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Katel
Yes you did the right thing by Munki by not letting her suffer, that's the mark of true love when we do that, as hard as it is, even though we know our own pain will start.  Be easy with yourself, there are no magic cures to this journey you have to take,  but you will find friends here.  I have shared here over the loss of 4 of my beloveds and each time have found comfort through the misery.  Love and blessings to you,

Kate
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camunki
Awww thank you Kate for your kindest of words.....yes i know in my heart i did what was right for my Munki...i just miss her soo soooo much....and this journey will be a long one, the journey of grieving, I feel like i just went thru this early last year Jan 2nd 2015...when i lost my other baby at 9 y/o...now i have to grieve my Munki who i lost one month ago...............

And yes, the people here are all wonderful and truly understand what it is to lose a beloved pet

hugs....Cam

Cam


 
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KarenK
Cam, thank you for your responses to my posts. I know that feeling guilt is a normal part of grieving for our babies, but it makes it harder, doesn't it? I think my Petey's stomach cancer may have been aggressive, too, as he never showed signs of any problems until he got sick. 

I feel so bad for you, losing not one but two precious puppies in a year's time. You and the rest of the community here are amazing. Thank you for taking the time to comfort me and others when you are still hurting so bad yourself. One step at a time, one day at a time is my new mantra. 

By the way, I downloaded Wet Noses at the Pearly Gates to my Kindle and have been finding comfort in it. I am not a fundamentalist at all, but i do believe the Bible contains a lot of truth and wisdom. This author has found in the Bible what he believes is clear evidence that God cares as much or more about our pets as we do, and that we will be with them again eventually. 

Karen
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camunki
Thanks Karen, yes, guilt has consumed me, again, guilt does not good, it will not change anything.....I've run it thru my head on many times that back In April and in May my Munki had Radiographs, and nothing changed on them, so i thought she would be ok, I even brought Munki in for an ear infection in Sept, and the vets never suggested to take "another" Radiograph......I am glad i brought her in the day after Thanksgiving, cuz i knew something was off, and she had an "aggressive cancer" one that sprung within a weeks time, Munki was fine on Monday Nov 30th, but in a matter of days she stopped eating and was breathing really, really heavy, i knew something was wrong. And this cancer thing can come on so quick, so fast, so soon, there is no time to do anything, except think of how your pet feels.

I do have to feel proud though, I did give her 13 years 10 months of life, that is almost like 97 years, in people years, so yes, she had a long life, but yes, we all want our pets to live the "longest" they possibly can.

I have that book I think it is Cold     Noses at the Pearly Gates, and have read it back when Daizy passed away one year ago, i even had to re read ....at the end.......the 30 days, i re read the 30 days again, 2 months in a row just to help me out. And yes, a very comforting book, esp. showing scriptures that "our pets are alive and well".........its good to read things like that.

Thank you Karen for your kind words!!

Cam

Cam


 
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Bahoomba
Please accept these kind thoughts from NYC. I'm grieving too; it's been a week for me, yet the pain, obviously, still lingers.

It's absolutely all right to feel any emotions at this point in time; someday it will make sense, but perhaps it won't.

But the one, true, clear thing is the love your shared with Munki. It was true, real, and nothing will ever change that. It's that kind of love that makes life worth living, and you were lucky enough to have it in your life.

Don't fall apart; be strong. We are all behind you.

Bob
NYC
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camunki
 Awww Bob you brought tears to my eyes about: the love i shared with Munki, and yes, it was true, real and nothing will change that. And i am so thankful that i had her for 13 years 10 months.

Your grieving is new, it is raw and only one week. And yes, posting here does help so so much. Please know you are in my thoughts during this difficult time. And thank you for your kind words!

Cam

Cam


 
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MyBella
Hi Cam,

A year already for you without your Munki, where in the world does the time go Cam, some days it seems like an eternity, other times it feels like only yesterday since you last held and kissed your precious girl, but no matter how much time goes by Cam, your girl is forever with you, and she isn't alone as Daizy and Jemma are with her, the three girl together again, running and playing freely and I am sure they are even stirring a little bit of fun trouble as well...we all need to have a little troublesome fun once in a while....right.....

I sincerely wish nothing but the most beautiful and loving memories of all your precious girls to bring the peace and healing your heart and soul so deserves. You are an amazing person Cam, as you have lost your three precious girl and yet you find the strength and time to support us on her....thank you for doing so, it doesn't go unnoticed and is so truly appreciated.

I post this candle in Munki's honor of her one year

Image result for heart candle photos

May you feel the warmth and love of not only Munki but all your girls today deep in your heart.

Sincerely, Don

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camunki
Don thank you so much for bring up this old thread, and thank you for your kind words you bring tears to my eyes and for the candle lighting, you are Amazing! 

I had many tears today and will start a new post for Munki and her One year, been a long one year, yet it went by too quick. Thank you so much for all your support thru this one year!

Cam


 
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