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Memories_of_Marmalade

Jackie wrote:

"A lot of people don’t understand around me and I’m really putting on a poker face right now. I’m destroyed and crushed inside but trying to keep it together on the outside. They want me to be “ok” again but I don’t think I’ll ever be the same person that I was. Part of my heart is empty. It’s just not the same."

I concur. Same here. I am never, not ever going to be the same. And I am 57 years old. Been around awhile. I'm not a kid. I know myself and my mind, body & soul, and it's never, not ever going to be the same. I miss my Lad.
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Phxkat
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my 19 year old cat, Miso, to kidney failure two weeks ago tomorrow. He was starting to lose weight and seemed to lose control of his back legs. He stopped eating his special diet food so I gave him lunch meat which he devoured. I’m guessing he just needed something other than his diet food. I thought I might as well make him happy in his final days rather than have him starve. I also saw him batting at his mouth and hacking like he was going to throw up but didn’t. I think there was something else wrong with him the doctors didn’t diagnose. I saw him hiding a lot and his meowing was a little loud and painful sounding. So I knew that was his way of telling me it was time. I knew it would be selfish of me to keep him here just because I wanted him to be. And I did NOT want him to suffer. It was THE hardest decision to make in my entire life.... I miss him every day. This is the first time in 18 years I have not had a pet with me. I know exactly what you’re feeling. Your story sounds so much like mine. Just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss.
Steven felix
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tunismom
Phxkat wrote:
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my 19 year old cat, Miso, to kidney failure two weeks ago tomorrow. He was starting to lose weight and seemed to lose control of his back legs. He stopped eating his special diet food so I gave him lunch meat which he devoured. I’m guessing he just needed something other than his diet food. I thought I might as well make him happy in his final days rather than have him starve. I also saw him batting at his mouth and hacking like he was going to throw up but didn’t. I think there was something else wrong with him the doctors didn’t diagnose. I saw him hiding a lot and his meowing was a little loud and painful sounding. So I knew that was his way of telling me it was time. I knew it would be selfish of me to keep him here just because I wanted him to be. And I did NOT want him to suffer. It was THE hardest decision to make in my entire life.... I miss him every day. This is the first time in 18 years I have not had a pet with me. I know exactly what you’re feeling. Your story sounds so much like mine. Just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss.


Wow that does sound so similar. Also I love the name Miso! Yep, Tuni had the same problems, lack of appetite, weakness in his back legs, weight loss. It was awful. He didn’t bat at his mouth but he did have AWFUL breath which was caused by ulcers in his mouth, something common in kidney disease, or so I’ve read. He had good days too so I thought maybe he was getting better. I always went back and forth with the decision but he spiraled pretty quickly in the last week. Stopped eating and drinking entirely and the night before we let him go, he had a wide-eyed look that scared me. His eyes were completely dilated and non reactive to light. We realized in the morning he’d lost his sight and I just couldn’t let him suffer any longer. I struggle with the thought that we waited too long. But I’m sure if we had let him die naturally, it would have ended violently, like a stroke or seizure so I’m grateful we saved him from that. I’ve lost many pets before but this has been the hardest loss simply because of how long he was around. I 100% get it. Things will never be the same. We just have to find a way to keep moving forward. I’m so sorry for your loss as well but glad you got to have him for 19 years. Kidney disease is awful.
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Phxkat
Thank you. Yes you’re right. Kidney disease is awful. I guess we just have to move forward knowing we did the right and humane thing for them. And I take comfort that I did have him as long as I did. I hope you can too. Take care.
Steven felix
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Jcunnane
I hate kidney disease. Bubby was so young...just a month shy of 10. I think he got dealt a bad hand of cards from birth but just lived life to the fullest and with tons of love.

He kept drinking tons of water his last few days. To the point that his chest was just drenched and he never groomed himself. It was awful to watch him like that. He was such a proud little dude. 😥

Bubby's (Milo) Mommy - Always & Forever My Little Man 💜

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Shelby55
Oh my goodness. You helped him to the litter box all night long. That is so touching. I too lost my cat recently and I wouldn’t wish the pain on anyone. Hang in there. Only time.
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tunismom
Shelby55 wrote:
Oh my goodness. You helped him to the litter box all night long. That is so touching. I too lost my cat recently and I wouldn’t wish the pain on anyone. Hang in there. Only time.


Yep, I did. I would have done anything for him. Today is one week and I still miss him so much. Friday I had to pick up his ashes and I was told beforehand that they’d include a paw print so that’s what I was expecting but when I was standing in the checkout line (at Petsmart, he was euthanized at Banfield), I was caught off guard because I saw a packet of his fur in the bag. Totally unexpected so I started crying in line. It was awful and people probably thought I was crazy lol. Omg it’s been a rough week.
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Shelby55
You’ll get through this. We all will. Every week the gut wrenching pain eases just a little. Slow process as we loved them so darn much.
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