I had to put my 14 year old red tabby Mussages down on October 9th 2014. He went into respiratory distress and I rushed him to emergency hospital.He was struggling to breath.I was told I made the right choice and that he would have passed anyway.

I feel so raw and sad. I can barely function to really get anything done. I've lost other fur babies and it hurt but Mussages death has been devastating. I have six other cats but my house still looks and feels empty without HIM.

I'm angry too. Angry at everything and everyone.

Has anyone else felt this way?

Thanks for letting me vent a little.

Debbie Steed
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Hi Debbie,
My heart goes out to you after saying goodbye to your precious Mussages.  I know the deep pain and grief you are experiencing.  This road of grief takes us through so many emotions - sadness, anger, guilt, is a very bumpy road that we are on.

Everything that you describe is normal.  I can remember being angry as we drove away from the vet after saying goodbye to our gorgeous beagle, Bella, and seeing all of the people walking and driving around...they were going about their normal business.  I just couldn't comprehend that the world was going on when my Bella was no longer here.  I also went through stages of being angry at myself...questioning all the decisions we made for Bella after she was diagnosed with Kidney disease.  Then I felt angry because I wondered if we acted too soon and ended her suffering prematurely.  I had myself so distraught with my constant questioning.  

My Bella has been gone from my side for 6 months now, and I have been able to let go of the anger and guilty feelings and that has helped me grieve properly. I am still extremely sad and often break down, sometimes unexpectedly.  People assure me that this does get easier, but there is no set time frame.  We need to let ourselves go through the various stages of grief, but never lose sight of the positives.

The positives that I have taken from this is that we are so privileged to have been chosen to be Mussages and Bella's family.  We are grieving this deeply because we were so fortunate to have a deep, deep bond with them.  I would not give up one second of my time with Bella, even if it meant that I could take away this terrible pain.  I know that you feel exactly the same way about Mussages.

Hold your memories in your heart.  They are yours forever.  I wish you peace and healing.

(Bella, Charli and Buddy's very lucky mum)

My gorgeous girl, Bella  26/07/2004 - 03/04/2014
"You were once by our side, but you will be forever in our hearts. Until we meet again baby girl."
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Thank you Karen
Debbie Steed
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I'm so sorry that you had to say goodbye to your precious Mussages.

What you are feeling is completely normal.  As you loved him so much, the emotions run very deep.  I lost my Charlie on Sept. 4th and was devastated more than I ever have when losing a pet.  He and I were very very close.  I also have other pets and while I love them and it helps that they're here, they're not him and there's a big empty space in the house and in my heart.  Its slowly getting easier.

Like Bellamum, I'm trying to focus more on being thankful that I was blessed to have Charlie in my life and all the countless moments of comfort and happiness he and shared.  When I think about them, I still tear up and sometimes break down but I am starting to smile more when I look at his pictures.

Again, I'm so sorry as it can be a long, painful process.

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We have just returned from the emergency animal hospital for the second time in 4 days. i just had to have 17 year old girl "Muggy" put down after she jumped from her cat bed onto the floor and broke her leg. She needed surgery to repair the bad break and the Drs did not believe she would survive surgery due to her age and other health issues.

I'm in shock and I just can't believe it.
Debbie Steed
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Oh Debbie I know exactly how you feel, I lost both my kitties in less than a month , one from a very similar situation, my jinx fractured his spine jumping from the bed to the floor, I was like how is that possible, turns out he had bone cancer which makes bones very brittle and the simplest thing would've caused it, it was low enough he could still walk for a time, but 8 months later at the age of 20 we had to let him go because he couldn't walk anymore, and my Matilda passed 3 weeks later from kidney failure at the age of 17, I didn't see that one coming, her loss was so unexpected, where as his I knew his time would come, so I spent as much time as I could with him, not knowing she would soon follow, how guilty I still feel about that, I tell myself she couldn't live without him, it was like the instant he was gone she knew, and just gave up herself and wanted to be with him, just know I completely understand,someone did say to me here this one statement , imagine Mussages face when he looked up and saw Muggy running towards him, how happy they were, reunited once again, knowing they are together and free from old age and pain and sickness, try to hold onto that
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