On Fri I was in a great mood that day, working from home with a lively Iggy. Saturday was relaxing but then Sunday he was gone. He was everything to me and after we almost lost him in March (near heart failure due to a tooth extraction under anesthesia), I wrapped my whole life in him even more. Probably in an unhealthy way with very few other outlets. It just happened so quickly--he had a stoke followed by heart failure within seconds after throwing up at 2am Sunday morning. We rushed him to the ER but he was already gone. I'm completely lost without him and haven't slept and have already lost 5 lbs. I keep telling myself I could have done better.
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a very similar experience yesterday. & I am totally devastated and feeling guilty. I hope you can find some comfort As I am trying to very hard god bless you
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I am so very sorry you are both going through this. We all completely understand the anguish and more so the physical gut wrenching pain in your chest and belly you are experiencing right now. It's one of the hardest most deepest pain I have gone through in my life. I too stopped eating and nourishing my body for days, it was the last thing on my mind to care for myself. If I wasn't awake crying, I was asleep. But in time you have to, it's what our furbaby's would want from us. I know it's tough, I cursed and screamed out with all of my might to God as I cried for days straight for taking my boy Marley. I'm still emotionally crippled in my bed since losing Marley on Monday. But each day gets a little easier to cop with.

I have found that speaking to others on this forum has helped, reading their stories and reaching out to others in their time of need also helps.

I for one find it very comforting to create Rituals for our beloved furbaby's. I've set up a spot on my bedroom mantel with a burning candle, flowers and other little momentos of my boy. I look to it everyday. And when his ashes arrive, I plan to have a candle light vigil and say all the things I couldn't say when he passed. Its been 5 days since Marley passed and now I'm ready to honor him by paying it forward. I signed myself up for volunteer work at a local animal rescue. You see Marley was a rescue and he deserved to live a long long happy life but it was cut short. It pains me to my core that he won't live a long life but I'm now comforted by knowing that he was the happiest when he was alive with us and that's all we could have ask for. He rescued us in so many ways and I will always carry him in my heart and give my gradtiude to him for that.

Yes, there will be many ups and downs. I would do anything to have him back in my arms. We all go through the "what if's" or "I should of". It's a haunting realization.

Be good to yourselves.

Thinking of you,

- Ana (Marley's momma)
- Ana (Marleys momma)
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