wlhitch
I can't believe I lost 2 pets in one day.  My cat had been diagnosed with chronic kidney failure and diabetes in May.  We started on insulin, special diet.  Had one recheck and she upped the insulin but I didn't feel he was eating enough to justify that so I didn't do it.  Other than dehydration from the kidney problem he was acting normal but eating little.  I never went back for another check.  Thursday he seemed lethargic and weak in hind legs so I took him to the vet.  I skipped his last insulin because he hadn't eaten anything.  When I got there he had zero blood sugar and was starting to seize.  Some karo syrup brought him back but vet thought even if we stabilized him it was a temporary fix.  So I chose to let him go.  He was only 12.  He always sat with me on the couch or office chair, wherever I was.

I brought Amber, our 9 yr old shepard mix along on the visit because she had been fighting a rash on her legs.  She had bloody diarrhea at the vet.  She had thrown up foamy bile that morning.  They sent her home with ulcer meds.  She had more bloody diarrhea tonight and now just after midnight she passed.  I don't know what happened and I don't know how to tell my sons that both of our pets are gone.  I am in complete shock right now.  I can't even cry.  I am sorry I didn't do more for them.  I trust what the vet says and I didn't think Amber was immediate danger.  I guess if I had her hospitalized then and there she would have died alone at the vet.

I am sorry we are in this boat together.
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curcumas
I replied to you in my post, but had no idea of all you are going through when I did. My heart breaks for you. I would be in shock too. It honestly sounds like you did all you could and made the best decisions. I would trust your vet. I honestly don’t even know what to say other then I am so sorry. As for telling your sons, that will be difficult. I don’t know how old yours are. My son is 8 and he thought I was bring Mango in to get fixed. She would get sick, the vet fixed her up. When I came back without her he was different then I expected. He handled it better then I did. I don’t know if it’s because they are kids and it’s hard to comprehend life and death at a young age. He had his moments when he would break down and cry, but then times he was fine. Again, it depends on age. My heart goes out to you and your family. It’s hard try to deal with your own grief and be “mom”, at the same time. Hugs to you.
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curcumas
I just wanted to check on you to see how you are, Not good I’m sure. How are your sons doing. Again I’m so sorry for you losses. It’s hard enough losing one, but two on the same night, I can only imagine.
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Sil
wlhitch,

I am very sorry for your loss of your two beloved pets.  You did your best, seeking medical attention, checking on them.  We rely on our vets, If we could heal our pets ourselves, we would in a second.  Losing them is very painful, and you have to face your pain.....and "absorb" your sons' pain - as a mom, you protect and try to "save" them from any pain and harm.  Like curcumas said "it depends on their age.....", sometimes, children surprises with their resilience to loss.  Again, I am sorry for your loss.  Hugs
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wlhitch
Thank you for your replies.  I'm trying not to burn out my family by rehashing everything.  I feel like I'm getting more upset instead of less.  The guilt of not taking Amber to the hospital is weighing on me.  I pass an emergency vet every day on the way to work about 30 min away.  I feel like it was a sign that I should have taken her there.  In hindsight I believe she had HGE and I wish the vet had hospitalized her then and there.  My youngest is 14 and he is doing well.  I think he finds comfort comforting me.  My oldest is 21 and he out of the house but it was his dog to grow up with.  I couldn't tell him, my husband had to.  Thanks for the replies.  We are all going through something and I appreciate you helping me with my pain while you go through yours.

   amber2.jpg 
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curcumas
I know what you mean about burning everyone out. I think people just don’t like to see someone they love hurting, so after a while it comes across as they don’t want to hear it. But.. that’s what everyone here is for. I got quiet about losing Mango because I was tired of hearing, are you better yet. No, I’m not better, I’m just coping. Please don’t feel guilty. We make the choices we make with the information we have at the time. We can all second guess but it does no good other then beating ourselves up. It’s obvious you loved your babies, so trust you did all you could. I’m glad your 14 year old is doing ok. My 8 year old dealt with it better then me and like yours, did a lot of comforting of mom. I hope your older son is ok. Lose is never easy. If you need to vent, just write here. When I lost Mango after almost 19 years I was a mess. It helps to share you thoughts.
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wlhitch
I stopped at the vet today to get print outs of her bloodwork.  At least the vet did follow up with a call to ask what happened.  I think it was HGE or Addisons but she said the bloodwork didn't support that and thinks Amber ingested some kind of poison.  I find that unlikely.  She had just finished up some antibiotics for an infected rash on her legs.  The infection had come back while she stayed with family for a week over july 4 while we were away.  I wonder if this infection sent her into a septic shock.  If the vet can't figure it out I suppose I won't either.  Just wish I had answers.  Again, thanks for your support.  
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Sil
wlhitch,

What a beautiful dog - Amber  

After, we lose a beloved pet, we are left with so many questions, and not very clear answers.  But, all we have is our vets advice and treatment. We all understand the
What If's? and the guilt.  Prayers and hugs

curcumas
Yes, those questions - Are your better? or How do you feel today? - "we are just coping with the pain" -
"we adapt to the pain, the pain does not leave us".  Hugs


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